“Huh?”
“It’s not fair if only I show you everything like this. If you’re going to do this with me, you have to take your clothes off too.”
“Right. I guess I will.”
…Huh?
I had said it expecting him to be as embarrassed as I was, but the answer came too readily.
His actions were even quicker.
Swoosh, without a single second of hesitation, Taehwan stripped off the gown he was wearing and let it fall to the floor beside the bed.
I involuntarily felt like I had been cornered even more.
Of course, the fact that the hand gripping my legs was released when he took off his clothes was an advantage, but…
“I’m naked. Satisfied now?”
“Ah. Uh, yeah.”
I was surprised, but the result was positive.
More than satisfied. How much I loved this body.
He was a head taller than me, with thick, sturdy arms that always supported me, shoulders that willingly made space when I reached out, a neck that comfortably cradled me when I hugged him tightly, a back that was naturally there when I needed to lean on something, and hands that always warmed me up…
During the many years when I found so many things difficult to do alone, I relied on this body, holding it tightly and feeling its warmth, gaining so much strength.
It was impossible not to love it.
And what about after I woke up?
His thick neck, his firm shoulders, a body too broad to wrap my arms around, yet his waist was surprisingly trim, creating a dramatic line from his chest down to his hips.
And encompassing all of this was the shape of his muscles, clear and defined like a sculpture of masculine beauty, without an ounce of unnecessary fat.
And his face was nice too; although his sharp eyes and bridge of his nose were made of firm lines, his skin was pale and his eyelashes were long, giving him a delicate quality.
Especially when he looked down at me and smiled with his eyes, he was so beautiful it made me wonder if such a person was even allowed to exist.
It was so good that I never got used to it, no matter how many times I saw it, and it made me happy.
Everything that made up Taehwan—his body and his face—was like that.
Even though I had touched him countless times, he was so magnificent that my poor imagination could never have conceived of him, making me feel even more grateful for the miracle that had come into my life.
‘…Perhaps, this might be the last time.’
This might be the last time I would see Taehwan’s naked body.
No, even if we returned to being ‘normal friends,’ since we were the same gender, it wasn’t as if I’d never see it again, but the frequency would decrease.
Taehwan might feel awkward, and even if he didn’t, I would feel uncomfortable.
More importantly, I wouldn’t feel the same way then as I did now.
So… I wanted to cherish this moment.
“You’re handsome.”
Perhaps that was why.
It was something I only ever thought and rarely said out loud, but the compliment spilled out naturally.
With a sincerity that was almost embarrassing.
Taehwan’s lips twitched.
“…Handsome?”
“Yes. You’re so, so handsome.”
But then again, since I had already confessed my feelings, what was the big deal about sincerely saying he was handsome?
I decided to just be honest.
Even if I hadn’t said it out loud, my inability to hide my feelings would have shown somehow.
Right now, I was busy absorbing every part of Taehwan with my eyes, like I was spellbound, engraving it into my mind.
I was concentrating on not forgetting Taehwan’s body, the air, the temperature, and the entire atmosphere of this moment.
Taehwan, who had been quietly looking down at me, let out a small laugh.
“What part of me is so handsome?”
“All of it.”
“All of it?”
“Yes. Everything about you is handsome.”
“Wow, that’s incredibly vague.”
“But it’s true.”
“Fine. We’ll go with true.”
I didn’t like his condescending tone.
I truly love Im Taehwan—I wonder if I could ever love anyone more—and I’m not even trying to hide it, yet you still don’t recognize my sincerity.
…Then again, that’s probably why he can be here, naked with me on the bed.
Still, he didn’t seem too upset.
Taehwan, whose lips were constantly twitching, helped me sit up so I could look at his body more closely.
Since I had the freedom, I decided to express my feelings a bit more.
“You’re my precious Im Taehwan, so of course everything about you is handsome.”
I said this while stretching out my arms to hug Taehwan.
Hugging his wide back with all my might, pressing my chest against his, and burying my face near his neck, reminded me of the time in the isolation room when Taehwan acted as my human mattress.
Unless he had spare patient clothes that fit him, we would spend time together just in our underwear, side by side.
Thinking back, it was truly a blessed life.
To have such a handsome friend, who was also so kind, always by my side.
Falling for him was truly inevitable. I couldn’t help but love him.
I hadn’t needed to think about ‘sex’ or ‘love’ before, and I hadn’t, but it was clear that I had loved him for a very long time.
It would be foolish to treat such a natural and inevitable outcome as a ‘mistake.’
Even if our relationship were to reach a turning point because of my feelings for Taehwan, I didn’t want to go back to the time when I didn’t know this feeling.
Taehwan deserved to be loved.
Even if time were repeated countless times, as long as I met Taehwan, I would eventually fall for him.
—Thump, thump, thump, thump.
“…?”
I was quietly embracing Taehwan, enjoying the comfort he always provided me… when something suddenly bothered me.
His heartbeat was strangely loud.
At first, I thought it was my own heart, uncontrollable because I liked Taehwan so much, but it wasn’t.
It was Taehwan’s.
That wasn’t the only strange thing.
At some point, Taehwan’s body in my arms had become rigid.
All the muscles in his body were tensed and hard.
I hadn’t seen it yet, but I knew his expression wouldn’t be much different.
“Ah.”
It was very easy to guess why Taehwan was acting this way.
I had completely forgotten why we were naked on this bed. How stupid of me.
‘Oh my god. ‘My Im Taehwan,’ what did I just say…?’
If this were before the confession, I could have passed it off as a genuine expression of friendship between very close friends, but not now.
After confessing my feelings, I shouldn’t have referred to him as ‘mine.’
It was rude.
If Taehwan had wanted to be ‘mine,’ he wouldn’t be acting like this in the first place.
He would have just accepted my confession, and it would have been over.
To quickly try and fix the situation, I immediately let go of the arms I had wrapped around Taehwan.
“…I’m sorry. That was a slip of the tongue. Ah, I don’t mean that calling you handsome was a mistake… I mean calling you mine was…”
Taehwan’s gaze, looking down at me, was hot.
What kind of expression was he making now?
I didn’t have the courage to meet his eyes, so I couldn’t lift my gaze above his lips.
The lips I managed to steal a glance at were tightly closed, just as rigid as his tense body.
—Thump. Thump. Thump.
Feeling my own heart begin to pound in response, I clenched my hands.
The situation had spiraled in an unexpected direction, but maybe it was for the best.
Though it was a careless phrase, it undeniably carried my true feelings.
And judging by Taehwan’s reaction, that sincerity seemed to have been conveyed.
If so… then this activity would end here.
If we could just stop right now, it would be good for both of us.
“Taehwan, now that you know how I feel…”
“Jehee.”
“…Huh?”
“You smell like Jehee.”
His voice was so quiet, and the situation was so tumultuous inside my head that it took me quite a while just to understand that short sentence.
So… he said I smell? Me?
Once I understood, it was an incredibly perplexing thing to say.
I thought I had washed thoroughly.
Did I miss a spot?
I really scrubbed myself clean, meticulously.
“Do I smell?”
“Yes.”
“A lot? Then I’ll go back and…”
I was about to say I’d go wash again, but I stopped myself.
There was no reason to go that far.
Since things had come to this, ending it here wouldn’t be bad.
My feelings must have been conveyed, and it wasn’t good to show a more embarrassing sight.
With that thought, I tried to push Taehwan away, but he didn’t budge.
Instead of pushing away, he leaned in closer.
Why, when he said I smell…
“The smell of Jehee. You smell delicious.”
“Ah, wai—”
Warm, moist breath hit my neck.
My chest felt ticklish, and I instinctively squirmed.
Yet, at the same time, I felt strangely excited.
It was as if my entire body was anticipating Taehwan’s lips to touch it.
“Aah.”
“Haa… You’re white and soft and sweet.”
“Ugh, Ooh!”
Taehwan seemed to open his mouth wide, then bit down hard on my neck.
He bit down so strongly that blood trailed down the wound.
It was only a single streak, so not much, but…
“…I want to devour you.”
