An illegitimate child—someone who likely grew up lonely, never welcomed by anyone.
I had guessed as much, but hearing it directly from his mouth felt different.
I felt upset and sorry for him; my heart ached for the wounds hidden behind his flashy appearance.
Suddenly, things Yoo Joohwan had said in the past flashed through my mind.
‘We’re not kids. What do “like” or “love” even mean? Do we really have to say those things back and forth?’
‘Don’t worry. I’m the black sheep of the family anyway.’
Since he had said them so lightly, I had always brushed them off as nothing.
‘If I had paid just a little more attention, I would have known….’
Not knowing how to start the conversation, I bit my lip. Moon Dowon patted my shoulder lightly.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s a fact you can find just by searching the internet. It’s Joohwan’s fault for getting angry. It’s not like being a child born out of wedlock is a bad thing, right? Joohwan is the one who overreacted.”
Moon Dowon stared at Yoo Joohwan intimidatingly, as if asking why he was being so sensitive toward someone who didn’t know anything.
Despite the pressuring gaze, Yoo Joohwan ignored him easily.
“Do you remember when I said the time we spend together in the future is more important than the time we’ve known each other?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m going to take responsibility for you. No matter what moment comes, I won’t waver and I’ll take responsibility for you until the end.”
It felt like the unspoken words followed: ‘I won’t play around with my cock like my father did.’
His low voice made my eyes sting for some reason.
“Please, stop trying to push me away. Saying another person might appear, or that you might waver… all of those things sound to me like you just don’t trust me.”
I hadn’t realized that the things I said to deny reality would wound him so deeply.
Because Yoo Joohwan had always shown a bright and cheerful side, the guilt felt even heavier.
Yoo Joohwan was the reason this relationship hadn’t completely shattered but had only cracked.
Now that I knew his inner story, my heart felt leaden.
When I first encountered them in the R-rated novel, I thought they were just guys crazy for sex.
Now, they were each taking up space in my heart, making me waver.
My chest throbbed, and I clenched my empty fists.
“Okay. I won’t do that. I won’t say things like that anymore.”
I couldn’t back out of my plan now. Suppressing my wavering heart, I walked over to where Yoo Joohwan stood.
Deciding to do what I could in the moment, I wrapped my arms around Yoo Joohwan’s waist and hugged him.
Whatever the reason, if Yoo Joohwan was hurt because of me, I wanted to apologize properly for that much.
“I’m really sorry…. I mean it.”
“…….”
“Listen. I don’t care what kind of life you’ve lived. To me, you’re a wonderful person. You might not know it, but your bright energy lights up everything around you. That’s how much you shine. Just like the stars you showed me once.”
As I offered my sincere words of comfort, Yoo Joohwan let out a small chuckle and rested his chin on my shoulder.
Then, as his hands wrapped around my waist, I knew his mood had softened to some extent.
“Forget it. It’s not like I did everything right.”
“…Joohwan.”
“They say lovers fight, and being like this makes me feel like we’ve gotten closer than before, so it’s not bad. But I was a little hurt. Even though I followed you around so much, you didn’t know anything about me. Your attitude of pushing me away without even trying to know me made me worry that I wasn’t attractive. And I was hurt when you said I’d go into heat for an omega just because I’m an alpha. I wondered if I was really that untrustworthy to you.”
“No. I just wasn’t thinking clearly.”
It was true that I had treated them that way because I viewed them only as characters in a novel. As I squeezed my eyes shut against the swaying emotions, I heard Moon Dowon’s voice from behind.
“I really feel like an interloper now.”
“If you know that, go out for a bit.”
“I’d like to, but I’ve been waiting to apply the ointment, so I can’t.”
At the word “ointment,” I pulled away from Yoo Joohwan’s embrace and looked at Moon Dowon.
As if he had been waiting, Moon Dowon pulled a tube of ointment from his tight clothing, his stoic face cracking into a small smirk.
“It’s time for the ointment.”
“I’m fine.”
“There’s no way you’re fine. No matter how fast you recover, it can’t heal that easily.”
Moon Dowon looked full of pride as he asked if I knew just how big his cock was.
I looked at the self-absorbed Moon Dowon, then at the ointment, and let out a sigh.
“I’m really okay. You just saw me walking. I have no problem walking.”
“I’m doing this in case it gets infected. You have to keep using it in the future, so what if it gets inflamed?”
That damn ointment. I could already see him stubbornly insisting on applying it himself again.
My face heated up at the thought of spreading my cheeks in front of the two of them.
Feeling the burning heat, I tried to change the subject quickly.
“I saw a new shop opened up nearby. Do you want to go eat? I’m craving something sweet after that porridge.”
“I thought you hated ice cream.”
When I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, Moon Dowon replied disapprovingly, recalling what happened at the park.
Just then, Yoo Joohwan asked in a puzzled tone, as if remembering how I had happily eaten the ice cream before.
“Seo Siho says he hates ice cream?”
“Yeah. He says he hates it.”
“That can’t be. When he was with me, he opened his mouth and ate it so deliciously.”
Yoo Joohwan had a long, crescent-moon smile on his lips as if the memory was vivid.
Looking at Yoo Joohwan, who only had good memories while remaining oblivious to the fact that he was the reason I was terrified of ice cream, I thought of the treats in the freezer.
“Um… do you guys know each other’s sizes?”
“What kind of size?”
“Well….”
As I struggled to choose the right words, Yoo Joohwan caught on quickly and answered.
“Cocks?”
“…Yeah.”
I was the one who brought it up, but the word made me feel embarrassed.
My already flushed face burned even redder.
I felt mortified at the mention of their private parts.
“Moon Dowon and I grew up together since we were kids, so we know well. We’ve been hanging out with Kang Taeyun since we were young, too, so we know.”
Yoo Joohwan answered nonchalantly, asking if most friends didn’t know that much.
Still, even for friends, it would be difficult to directly measure and manufacture something of that size.
When I tilted my head slightly, Yoo Joohwan gave a meaningful smile as if he knew what I was getting at.
“So you were curious. About how I made them.”
It was something Yoo Joohwan—the man who made models—could definitely do, but knowing Kang Taeyun’s personality, he wasn’t the type to allow that easily.
I nodded with a curious look.
“It’s simple. When Kang Taeyun goes to the bathroom, I just take a quick peek, touch it, and run.”
“…….”
“Of course, I almost met my maker doing it.”
Yoo Joohwan boasted that was how he had manufactured the ice cream.
He shrugged, saying he put in the effort several times for accuracy since he made it specially for me.
Looking at Yoo Joohwan, who always exceeded my imagination, I could only think he was incredible.
“But is that why you said you hated ice cream?”
“No. I just don’t really like cold food.”
“It seemed that way.”
“Huh?”
“You sucked my cock with hot water. Thinking back on that, it makes sense.”
My eyes went wide seeing how easily Yoo Joohwan accepted that.
Seeing him believe my white lie without a hint of doubt made me blink involuntarily.
“Next time, do it for me too. Don’t just do it for Yoo Joohwan.”
Moon Dowon showed a hint of jealousy, seemingly realizing that doing it was better than just watching.
I smiled faintly at his cute, sulky appearance, and Yoo Joohwan giggled.
“Since the mood is so good, should we have dessert at the place Moon Dowon’s brother runs?”
“Of all the places, why my brother’s?”
“It’s good. We can introduce your boyfriend while we’re at it.”
Yoo Joohwan pressed him to go, asking if he was still running the cafe.
I tried to stop them, fearing things would get too complicated if I was introduced, but Moon Dowon’s lips curved into a relaxed smile at the thought of introducing his lover.
“That sounds good. It means I’m the first to introduce you to my family.”
“Probably. You’re the only one who can introduce him anyway.”
He meant it would be hard for Kang Taeyun because of Chairman Kang, and for Yoo Joohwan, there was no one he’d care to introduce me to.
Whatever the reason, Moon Dowon seemed happy at the thought of showing me off before the other two.
“But what’s your orientation?”
“Orientation?”
“Yeah. I was wondering if you liked men originally.”
