“And then, I’m going to leave the group.”
I expected a reaction, but…
‘Isn’t it a bit too quiet?’
The room fell into an instantaneous, heavy silence.
Even Manager Kim, who had been sighing non-stop just moments ago, held his breath.
The silence was so thick I felt like I could hear the sound of someone swallowing.
Tak!
Beside me, Chiyoon set his chopsticks down with a sharp clatter.
The sudden noise made my body flinch.
Disregarding the tension, Chiyoon leisurely wiped his mouth with a napkin and rolled his tongue inside his cheek.
The way his cheek bulged and retracted following the movement of his tongue made his face look distorted.
As I lowered my eyes, the gazes boring into my skin felt even more stinging.
I stole a glance at Chiyoon, who still hadn’t said a word.
‘……!’
His face, now completely devoid of expression, was staring holes through me.
Leaning crookedly against the sofa with one knee pulled up, Chiyoon’s gaze clung to me tenaciously.
The only place on his face that held any emotion was his ominous, glowing eyes.
At that moment, the corner of Chiyoon’s mouth quirked up, and he let out a short, hollow laugh.
A chill ran down my spine at the unidentifiable sense of dread.
“Keep going.”
“……What?”
“The thing you were saying. Keep going.”
He tilted his head and twitched an eyebrow, as if inviting me to continue.
“…….”
What was there to say?
Unless I was just going to repeat the words “I’m leaving,” I had nothing else to add.
I knew I had brought it up abruptly, but I believed this was the right decision for everyone.
Breaking the prolonged silence, Chiyoon called out to Manager Kim.
“Seongsoo hyung.”
“Yeah?”
“We’re not doing this.”
His tone was light, as if he were just choosing what to have for dinner.
Startled, I snapped my head toward him.
“You… right now…”
Chiyoon shrugged as if to ask what the problem was.
“You said you’d do a final stage and then leave. What ‘final’? Why even bother with a stage if that’s the case? Just quit now.”
“What did you say?”
“What are you even saying? You’re going to leave just like that, without a single word of discussion with us? Not even a hiatus, but leaving?”
I felt stunned, as if I’d been slapped.
Unlike me, Chiyoon remained perfectly composed.
He delivered the final blow.
“Forget it. Don’t do the stage, and don’t leave the group either.”
“…….”
I’ve done it now.
I hadn’t intended to make the atmosphere this serious.
I quickly looked around at the other members, but they all sat still in silence.
No one in the room was foolish enough to miss that this silence meant implicit agreement with Chiyoon.
“Guys, I get it for now.”
Ultimately, it fell to Manager Kim to clean up the ruined atmosphere.
He clapped his hands twice and reached out to pat my back, signaling me to calm down.
“Seunghyun, let’s cool your head and talk again later. Okay? You’ve endured so much.”
He then turned to Chiyoon and gave his arm a light punch.
“Same goes for you, Chiyoon. Seunghyun probably thought about this for a long time; you shouldn’t speak to him like that. Alright, if everyone’s finished eating, let’s clean up.”
I stared blankly at the sushi still neatly arranged in front of me.
I didn’t particularly feel like eating.
“Wait a moment. Seunghyun hyung hasn’t eaten yet. Hyung, you need to eat.”
Yijeong stopped Manager Kim, who had started rustling around to clear the table.
I shook my head.
“I’m okay.”
“But you have to take your medicine…”
“Thanks for worrying, Yijeong. I’ll take care of it.”
“Still…”
After a moment’s hesitation, Yijeong said, “Then leave it there. I’ll clean it up,” and placed the lid back over my untouched sushi.
I swallowed a sigh.
Three months had passed since the manifestation.
It was enough time to anticipate this situation and prepare mentally.
I was certain the members had played this scenario out in their heads countless times.
But I never expected them to take it this heavily.
If I were given the choice, I would choose my own future over members tied by a contract without a second thought.
The conclusion was simple.
It meant they were much more than just a business relationship.
‘Joo Seunghyun, you were wrong. The members… they care about you much more than you thought.’
An unexpected obstacle made my head throb.
Further conversation was meaningless.
Ignoring the gazes pinned on me, I stood up.
“Sorry. I’m going in first. Get home safe, Seongsoo hyung.”
I know better than anyone the feeling of having opportunities snatched away against your will.
Know?
You could say I’m practically haunted by it.
The military, my job—even my relationships and my very secondary gender.
‘I couldn’t do a single thing the way I wanted.’
Even now, remembering those times makes me jump up in the middle of the night and beat my chest just to clear the suffocating feeling.
That’s why I couldn’t understand the Halo members.
No matter how late Joo Seunghyun manifested as an Omega…
‘To put it bluntly, there’s no proof it’s because of the members.’
Looking at it coldly, it was all Joo Seunghyun’s doing.
And yet they don’t resent him?
How can they not show a single ounce of resentment toward the person who is holding them back?
The leader of the group, their identity… there were many words to describe Joo Seunghyun, and the color he possessed was directly linked to Halo’s identity.
But Halo isn’t a group that would easily collapse just because Joo Seunghyun was missing.
Do Eunwoo, the main vocal, and Park Chiyoon, the main dancer, were skilled performers and popular on variety shows.
Kwon Yooju, the center and visual, and Cheon Yijeong, the rapper—they were all at the top tier of idols.
It was a lineup that could continue without any issues.
Four-member idol groups weren’t even rare.
In fact, if they promoted as four, they would all be Alphas, making things much simpler to manage.
Conversely, with an Omega wedged in between them, the situation becomes incomparably more complicated than before.
Between promoting without a leader or promoting with an Omega member, the former clearly carries less risk.
Because of that, Manager Kim, who was expressing even a hint of regret, seemed strange to me.
‘Guys, think it over thoroughly. I’ll wait until this weekend, so if you change your minds, you must! Absolutely! contact me. Opportunities to stand on a stage like that don’t come often.’
I rolled onto my side and curled up. My room came into full view.
Looking at the traces of fans filling the room made me feel nauseous.
When my gaze hit the spot where the letters from the hospital were kept, I felt a meaningless dry heave rise in my throat.
Like a child who had done something they shouldn’t have, my whole heart felt uncomfortable and restless.
To the point where I thought it might be better to just keep slacking off and pretending to be Joo Seunghyun.
Did Joo Seunghyun’s emotions still remain within me?
‘No.’
This was entirely my own emotion.
The biggest problem was that I was lying to the members, who were like family to this body.
Setting aside the difficulty of making them accept that something impossible had happened, how could I ever dare to say, ‘Joo Seunghyun is dead and gone’?
‘There’s no way I can say that.’
In my original life, I only had Han Kangwoo, who was half-obsessed with me.
But Joo Seunghyun lived a life loved by many.
Not just fans, but the members too. He was just too afraid of losing it.
The thought of blending in and living as the original Joo Seunghyun instead of giving a proper confession felt repulsive.
I let out a sigh so deep it made my chest ache.
Deceiving them and standing on stage pretending to be him was something I simply couldn’t do.
Knock, knock.
The sound of knocking broke my train of thought.
From beyond the door, Chiyoon announced he was coming in. I sat up messily.
“Joo Seunghyun.”
Chiyoon, leaning crookedly against the doorframe, stared at me fixedly.
“You and I need to talk.”
Without waiting for an answer, Chiyoon walked toward me with long strides.
He sat down beside me on the bed.
The mattress shook slightly under his weight.
I stole a glance at him.
He was the one who said let’s talk, but he just stared straight ahead without saying anything.
“…….”
After a long silence, Chiyoon leaned forward and exhaled slowly.
Only then did he straighten up and slowly turn his head toward me.
Our eyes met, and I froze.
His intense gaze seemed to pierce right through me.
“You…”
He let out another long sigh, his face twisting in a expression that was somewhere between a smile and a sob.
“Don’t you resent us?”
I couldn’t answer.
That was a question I couldn’t answer.
It was Chiyoon who broke the silence that stretched on for a long time.
“I’ll change the question.”
His voice was terrifyingly low.
“Don’t you ever think about us?”
How could I not?
For two days, four days, a week… for fifteen days after entering this body, I had the same dream.
The dream simply repeated ‘Joo Seunghyun’s’ life.
As if telling me to live as him.
Now, I could mimic him without much effort.
That was what made it hard for me.
It was so painful.
I was afraid that even I would forget my past self.
I was scared that no one in this world would be left to remember the real me.
“Chiyoon-ah.”
I tried to ignore the memories flashing by like a panorama.
And I asked, pretending to be nonchalant.
“Why did you say you wouldn’t do it earlier? The stage.”
“What?”
Chiyoon twitched an eyebrow, feigning ignorance.
“…….”
I clenched my jaw, barely swallowing the hot emotion rising in my throat.
Despite that, an uncontrollable question burst out of my mouth.
“Then what about you guys?”
This was an old question that had tormented Joo Seunghyun until the very end.
“Don’t you guys resent me?”
