* * *
No matter how much the emotions didn’t belong to him, crying was never a pleasant experience.
Seunghyun wiped his tears away roughly and headed straight for the living room.
He buried himself in a corner of the sofa and sipped the drink Yooju had handed him.
‘Let’s think constructively. Focus on what’s ahead.’
Finally shaking off the useless sentimentality, Seunghyun turned his head to look out the window at the glittering city view.
While the sasaengs made it difficult to go outside, staying cooped up in the dorm wasn’t necessarily suffocating.
‘Actually, this is better.’
He had been desperate for a rest anyway.
Although he was curious about the whereabouts of his original body…
‘That’s something I can only look into once I’m actually able to leave this place.’
In the first place, hoping that his original self still existed somewhere might be a futile dream.
But Seunghyun forced himself to look away from that possibility.
“Hyung, did you eat lunch?”
Yooju, who had just returned from a shoot, asked as he stepped out of the bathroom with a damp face.
The shoot, scheduled so early that Seunghyun hadn’t even realized he left, was for a solo sports drink commercial.
Yooju looked exhausted, carrying an armful of drinks he had likely received at the set.
He mentioned that the filming only wrapped up after he had spent hours running against the backdrop of the sunrise.
Eunwoo, who was sitting next to Seunghyun and already on his third bottle, answered for him.
“None of us have had lunch yet. I ordered sushi; it should be here soon.”
“Mine too?”
“Yeah. I just ordered ten sets.”
“Can you even finish all that?”
When Yooju asked with genuine concern, Eunwoo laughed brightly and replied, “I’ll eat four, Chiyoon hyung will eat three, and it’ll be perfect.”
Seunghyun scanned Eunwoo with a newfound sense of wonder.
Eunwoo was lanky and lean, with the body of a high-fashion model.
Despite that, it was a constant mystery how he could eat more than Chiyoon, who actually had some muscle on his frame.
“Oh, it must be here.”
At the sound of the doorbell, Eunwoo scurried toward the foyer.
Ignoring the perfectly good kitchen table, the members gathered one by one in the living room.
Seunghyun, who had been half-reclining on the sofa, slowly sat up.
He was making a conscious effort to spend as much time as possible in the common area.
It was a compromise he had reached while trying to figure out the right distance to keep from the members.
Since the cringey, polite speech that came out of his mouth automatically made conversation feel like torture, he settled for simply occupying the same space.
As a result, whenever the members of Halo ate together, they began to gather around the sofa where Seunghyun was, leaving the dining table empty.
As they busily set the table, Seunghyun reached out to help, only for his hand to be caught mid-air.
He looked up at Yijeong, who was holding his wrist.
“What?”
When Seunghyun raised an eyebrow in question, Yijeong shook his head and gently lowered Seunghyun’s hand.
Seunghyun’s body naturally leaned toward Yijeong, who was sitting propped against the sofa.
“You just sit, Hyung.”
Because he had lost weight, all of his clothes were slightly oversized.
Noticing the sleeves covering Seunghyun’s hands, Yijeong took it upon himself to fold them up before placing a pair of chopsticks in his hand.
He was leaning half-against Yijeong, aiming his chopsticks at a piece of sushi, when—
‘Luxury food…’
Before he could even put the sushi in his mouth,
SLAM!
The front door swung open with a violent thud.
His startled body flinched.
The sushi slipped from his chopsticks and pathetically disintegrated on his lap.
“Everyone!”
Manager Kim rushed in as if he had broken the door down, gasping for air as if he’d run a marathon.
Seunghyun frowned, picked up the remains of the sushi with his hand, and stuffed it into his mouth.
“Hyung, hello! What’s going on?”
Eunwoo greeted Manager Kim after swallowing a mouthful of food.
Manager Kim shouted, his face flushed with excitement.
“Can you guys handle a stage at Times Square for New Year’s Eve?!”
“……What?”
The story was this:
They had been scouted as headliners for the ‘New York Times Square New Year’s Eve Countdown’!
What kind of idol in the entire world makes their comeback stage in New York, at the biggest year-end event of all?
‘Fuck, apparently me.’
If there was one thing Seunghyun had overlooked, it was that until three months ago, Halo was the most successful male idol group in the world.
Their third full-length album, released in the first half of the year, had hit number one in annual album sales on Billboard, thanks to aggressive promotion and perfect timing.
That wasn’t all.
Not only did their b-sides line the global charts, but they were also a massive success, being nominated for at least one category in every major awards show.
For example, the most searched boy group on search engines this year was Halo.
He had assumed that since they canceled their world tour in the second half of the year, such a massive offer wouldn’t come.
However, the world was fixated on the news of Joo Seunghyun, who had vanished immediately after a mega-hit album.
Now that Halo’s return was confirmed, instead of concern, it had brought them an astronomical amount of buzz.
“Wait a second. All of us?”
Eunwoo, who had been listening while focusing on his meal, widened his eyes.
Manager Kim nodded at Eunwoo’s question and pulled an unopened tray of sushi toward himself, tearing off the plastic.
He already had a pair of chopsticks held expertly in his hand.
“Seunghyun, can you do it?”
His lips went dry from the sudden tension.
“…….”
‘I have to answer this carefully.’
If he got swept up and gave the wrong answer, he might find himself facing the first moments of the new year in front of a camera.
No, he might end up stuck living as an idol forever.
“When you say ‘all of us,’ does that mean I definitely have to perform…?”
Manager Kim nodded at Seunghyun’s question.
“That’s the condition of the scout. You have to do at least one song.”
Yooju, who had been listening quietly, asked back.
“But Seunghyun hyung isn’t even allowed to take long flights yet, let alone go outside. We have to be careful. Not to mention a performance…”
Unlike their rookie days when they had to do whatever they were told, Halo now had a voice.
“Of course, I explained the situation and told them it might not be possible. But they said he just needs to be on stage; they really want him for the interviews and the TV specials. They said there’s still a month until the end of the year, so there’s plenty of time to prepare.”
It was already the end of November.
The lineup had been finalized long ago, but Halo was the first group they contacted to fill a sudden vacancy.
“From what I can tell, they’re looking for a performance, but what they really want is an interview with Seunghyun.”
Contrary to his initial excitement, Manager Kim didn’t seem entirely pleased with the conditions either.
He let out a sigh between sentences.
“When I told them we were looking at early next year at the earliest, they asked if we couldn’t start a few weeks early. It’s obvious—they want the comeback to happen on their channel.”
“Still, this is a bit much…”
“I know, Yooju. But there’s no bigger opportunity than this.”
Manager Kim was right.
It was a massive chance to bridge the hiatus in one go.
A chance to show the world that Halo was still going strong and remained at the center of global attention.
Yooju put his chopsticks down and let out a dry laugh.
“I’m against the U.S. trip too.”
“Yooju. We have to give the choice to Seunghyun.”
Seunghyun reflected on the members’ ages.
Park Chiyoon, who was the same age as Joo Seunghyun, was twenty-four.
Kwon Yooju and Do Eunwoo were twenty-three, and the youngest, Cheon Yijeong, was twenty-one.
Compared to Seunghyun’s original age of thirty…
‘They’re so young.’
He had no intention of crushing their bright futures with his own hands.
‘Maybe I should just do one last flashy stage and then officially retire?’
Contrary to Seunghyun’s thoughts, the heated atmosphere quickly fizzled out.
No one seemed particularly happy about his participation.
“Don’t feel pressured. Just think about it comfortably,” Chiyoon said with a detached attitude, continuing his meal.
“Skipping this one doesn’t mean your place in the group is gone.”
However, Seunghyun didn’t quite understand their reaction.
They had all been working their asses off until now, yet they were acting as if this was someone else’s business.
Furthermore, every single one of them wanted Seunghyun’s return more than anyone else.
At this point, it wasn’t just being kind; they were being idiots.
They were going to turn down such a huge opportunity just because of Joo Seunghyun?
“Anyway, that…”
After a moment of deliberation, Seunghyun spoke quietly.
“It’s an important stage that might not come again, right?”
“That’s right.”
Seunghyun looked down at the hand that had been holding chopsticks just moments ago.
Because his sleeves were rolled up, his gaunt hand and wrist were fully exposed.
And it wasn’t just his wrist.
Flat, thin shoulders.
Wrists so thin the bone protruded.
Slender legs that felt like they were barely enough to stand on.
But now that Seunghyun was in this body, it was a matter of recovery, not life or death.
And if it were the real Joo Seunghyun, he would have kept going on stage.
Seunghyun slowly curled his fingers into a tight fist.
He had thought he’d have more time to think about the comeback.
“…….”
He was flustered by the choice that had arrived sooner than expected.
He thought back to the time he’d spent contemplating the profession of an ‘idol.’
Idol.
A being that means someone’s ‘icon’ or ‘image.’
Unfortunately, Seunghyun wasn’t that impressive of a person.
But if it was just one song…
‘It might be doable.’
If a single performance could put Halo back on top, it was a deal worth making.
Furthermore, he felt it was a chance to ease not only Joo Seunghyun’s lingering regrets but also the members’ guilt.
And then, he could quietly slip away.
He figured that if he returned to being a regular person, he could comfortably look into how all of this happened and where his original body went.
Plus, he could stop deceiving the members by pretending to be Joo Seunghyun.
Having finished his deliberation, Seunghyun looked up with a much lighter heart.
“I think I can do at least one song for the last time.”
After blurting it out, he suddenly worried if he could actually sing and dance properly.
“Last time?”
Eunwoo asked back, his face clouded with a sense of unease.
“Yeah.”
Seunghyun nodded.
Then, a voice completely devoid of lingering attachment flowed from his lips.
“And then, I’m going to leave the group.”
* * *
