‘How could this happen?’
It was a truly mysterious coincidence.
Joo Seunghyun’s parents, Seunghyun’s own parents, and his grandmother’s memorial hall were all located in the same charnel house.
He had expected a headache trying to visit them separately, so while it was a relief to solve it all at once, it was also, for some reason, unsettling.
Was there really such a thing as destiny?
Seunghyun sat in thought as he drove along the snow-covered road.
It was early, well before the sun had risen. The dark sky was just beginning to be tinged with orange from far away.
He had always thought he was comfortable being alone, but being truly alone after so long wasn’t necessarily just a good thing.
The road to the memorial house, away from the outskirts of the metropolitan area, was quiet and comfortable, but it was just as lonely.
‘You can certainly tell when someone’s spot is empty.’
He had already been feeling a void just from being away from the members he was always with.
Being alone at this hour, the feeling of loneliness doubled, knowing how recently his grandmother had passed away.
Stopping at a rural supermarket, Seunghyun bought two bottles of cheongju (clear rice wine) and a bottle of water before heading out. He had recovered enough to handle this much on his own.
That was why he had even considered coming to such a remote place by himself.
Rinsing his dry mouth, Seunghyun climbed back into the car. The cold air clung to his clothes.
Arriving at the outdoor memorial hall, Seunghyun covered his face entirely with a hat and mask.
He had come at dawn on purpose.
He didn’t want his solemn, private time disturbed simply because his face was known.
Seunghyun headed first to the place where his parents and grandmother were together.
“I’m here.”
He wiped the glass clean with a dry towel, offered the wine, and performed a bow.
Even though he was an unfilial son visiting in someone else’s body, he wanted to pay his respects properly.
After stroking the photo they had kept together through the glass a few times, Seunghyun cleared the spot and left. Now it was time to visit Joo Seunghyun’s parents.
‘Poor guy.’
It had been a life just as tragic as his own.
Seunghyun performed the same wine offering, bow, and silent prayer.
Loading the two bottles of wine—half empty now—back into the car, Seunghyun started the engine.
There was still one place left to go. The beach that Joo Seunghyun had visited that day.
‘A cigarette…….’
He wanted a cigarette.
Right after manifesting as an Alpha, he started smoking because he was disgusted by his own pheromones, and it took no time at all to become addicted.
Fortunately, starting with a new body that wasn’t addicted, he hadn’t really felt the urge to smoke.
But knowing he was heading to the place where he died, the thought kept crossing his mind.
It was as if he wanted to cling to something.
Stopping his car at the beach, Seunghyun eventually got out and bought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
He felt relieved that the shopkeeper didn’t seem to recognize him.
But why was this happening?
“…….”
He couldn’t light it.
Click, click-clack.
The lighter sparked, but he couldn’t inhale. It felt like he was committing a sin against Joo Seunghyun’s body.
Was it because he had just visited his parents?
Whoosh—
The waves crashed.
Holding the unlit cigarette in his mouth, Seunghyun stared blankly at the sea.
In the morning nearing dawn, the winter sea was dark and deep.
The blue-black surface repeatedly swallowed and spat out the rocky island.
“Huu…….”
Seunghyun let out a long breath.
Then, he snapped the cigarette he couldn’t finish smoking and put it in his pocket.
Perhaps, in his final moment, he had wanted to make that choice for himself, at least.
The sea was desolate.
People looking for a place to die wouldn’t seek out a crowded tourist destination, so naturally, the place Joo Seunghyun had found was a lonely, remote beach on the outskirts.
Why had Seunghyun found this place that day?
He couldn’t remember well, but he figured he had been looking for a place to walk aimlessly because his heart felt stifled.
Making do, he exhaled a puff of air like smoke instead.
‘Delayed manifestation…….’
It was a difficult problem.
Seunghyun, who had manifested as an Alpha, had been under extreme stress from the changes in his surroundings; how must Joo Seunghyun have felt, manifesting as an Omega?
He had already been withering away, day by day. He must have found this place when he sensed his final moment.
‘It’s not like imprinting with an Alpha is easy……. And besides, Joo Seunghyun was an idol.’
In the case of an Omega, unless you imprinted with an Alpha who could help regulate your pheromones, it was essentially a death sentence.
Imprinting itself was an extremely rare occurrence anyway.
Coming to his senses, he realized it was snowing. Seunghyun, who had been blankly watching the sea swallow the snowflakes, stood up and took out the remaining wine.
Now it was time to pray for his own soul and Joo Seunghyun’s.
The process of accepting death was calmer than he had thought.
Without a cup, he poured the wine directly into the sea.
The sound of wine trickling was soon buried by the sound of the approaching waves.
Having poured all the remaining wine into the sea, Seunghyun turned around without regret, holding the empty bottle in his hand, and got into the car.
“I’m leaving. Stay well. I’ll live well, too.”
Cigarettes… that was one thing, but he hadn’t had a drink since entering this body, either.
Once the thought crossed his mind, it wouldn’t leave.
The addictive nature of “pleasure foods” was truly something else.
‘Alcohol…….’
He had returned to the dorm and was sprawled on the sofa, suffering from a different kind of withdrawal symptom.
“Hey, Joo Seunghyun!”
“……?”
Someone burst through the front door.
“I knew you’d be doing this.”
It was Chiyoon.
Chiyoon strode over, took off his coat, hung it roughly on the sofa, and then hooked his hands under Seunghyun’s arms to lift him up.
Seunghyun had been sitting there barely holding himself together like a sack of grain, completely drained of energy, when Chiyoon sighed and started pulling things out of a bag.
“Let’s have a drink.”
Alcohol?
Inside the rustling plastic bag, there were clearly what looked like bottles of soju and cans of beer.
“Just us, without the kids. Just you and me. Okay?”
Chiyoon handed the bag of alcohol to Seunghyun and disappeared into the kitchen.
Seunghyun began, half-mechanically, taking the bottles out of the bag and lining them up on the sofa table.
Every time the cold bottles touched his palms, his dazed mind returned a little more.
Deciding to have a proper drinking session, there were even snacks and dried appetizers in the bag.
Meanwhile, Chiyoon returned with glasses and plates.
“Come down and sit.”
It was perfectly true that Koreans use the sofa as a backrest. Seunghyun sat down on the floor as if bewitched.
“Soju?”
Chiyoon asked as he opened a bottle. Seunghyun nodded.
He felt like he could already taste the sweetness of the soju on the tip of his tongue.
It was unexpected, though.
Even if they pretended otherwise, Chiyoon was the member most sensitive to Seunghyun’s health.
To think that he, of all people, had bought him a drink. Seunghyun stared blankly at the soju glass in his hand.
“What are you doing? Not going to clink glasses?”
Only after seeing Chiyoon clink their glasses lightly and knock back the alcohol in one go did Seunghyun put the glass to his lips.
‘……!’
The alcohol he had tasted for the first time in months was incredibly sweet.
It was so good he didn’t even need a side dish. Seunghyun reflexively reached for a beer can.
The sound of carbonation escaping into the air was refreshing.
Only after gulping down the beer did his sense of reality slowly return.
“Why the sudden drink?”
When he asked belatedly, Chiyoon, who was chewing on a dried snack, shrugged his shoulders.
“I thought about it, and realized it had been a while since we had a drink.”
He added with a smirk.
“You’re the one who said it. Let’s only drink at the dorm. So we don’t cause any unnecessary trouble drinking outside.”
It was a rule typical of Joo Seunghyun.
And judging by the atmosphere, it seemed everyone had been following it well so far.
He had thought they were exceptionally close, but he realized it might have been possible because everyone was just kind-hearted.
“Did you visit safely?”
Chiyoon asked while flipping through the TV channels.
Seunghyun nodded silently.
He had paid his respects to his parents, yes, but in a way, it was also the day he had said goodbye to himself.
Realizing that, the sweet alcohol suddenly felt bitter.
Seunghyun put down his glass and frowned.
“Why are you back so early, anyway?”
“Me? Well…… going home is just noisy. I just showed my face, took some photos with the kids, and came back right away.”
Even though he said that, he knew Chiyoon had come back early because he was worried about him.
