Life in the capital was unfamiliar in every way.
In an environment that had changed in an instant, the only person Joel could rely on was his adoptive father, Count Lucas.
Although the butler Wickham, who had cared for Joel since he was a child, came to the capital to serve him, the old man was of little help.
In fact, Wickham struggled just to carry himself in a way that wouldn’t draw insults from the servants of the Lucas estate, let alone protect Joel.
While even the servants of the Lucas household looked down on him, his adoptive father initially showed Joel a kindness that was almost creepy.
Under the pressure to adapt to capital life as quickly as possible, Joel naturally came to trust and follow his father’s words as if they were law.
He was overjoyed at a single word of praise from his father, and when his father sighed, Joel felt a crushing anxiety as if the world were ending.
Unfortunately, as time passed, his father’s smiles became rare, replaced only by repeated sighs.
The more this happened, the more Joel endured hunger and sorrow to desperately follow his father’s harsh teachings.
However, the kind attitude his father had shown at the beginning never returned.
In truth, it was nothing more than a trick to make Joel feel anxious and desperate, but the 17-year-old Joel could not see through his father’s hidden motives.
Just as his father planned, Joel began to suffer from a deep guilt, believing he had disappointed the man.
Not long after his unpleasant first meeting with the Crown Prince, Joel experienced a horrific instance of abuse from his adoptive father.
It was about a month after the Crown Prince had returned to the country.
Joel had failed miserably and repeatedly to make a good impression on the Prince.
Despite this, his father did not give up on pushing Joel toward him.
After meeting with various imperial relatives, the Count succeeded in bribing Duke Ernest, the Empress’s younger brother.
Through Duke Ernest’s arrangement, Joel had a tea time at the Duke’s capital mansion, disguised as a chance encounter with the Crown Prince.
However, the Crown Prince remained cold, doing nothing but drinking his tea.
In the past, Joel would have ignorantly grabbed the Prince’s sleeve and thrown a tantrum.
But now, Joel clearly understood that the difference in their status was as vast as the sky and the earth.
As soon as the Crown Prince emptied his teacup, he stood up to leave.
Discouraged by the cold treatment, Joel did not dare follow him or touch his sleeve.
Having wasted the opportunity his father had provided through massive bribes, Joel had to return to the Lucas estate trembling with fear.
As soon as he arrived, the servant who had been watching him ran straight to the Count’s study.
It was obvious how maliciously the servant would exaggerate what had happened at the Duke’s mansion.
Joel could not eat anything at dinner that evening.
Part of it was because the family members and servants at the dining hall gave him incredibly cold stares.
But it was also because the head maid had slammed down a bowl of coarse porridge in front of him—something even commoners wouldn’t eat—claiming it was his meal.
There weren’t even the usual potatoes or apples.
The rough porridge made of bran was something usually fed only to livestock unless there was a famine.
Joel could only fiddle with his spoon before getting up from the table.
Late at night, the eldest son, Isaac, came to Joel’s bedroom.
He didn’t even hide his hateful gaze as he delivered the message that their father was calling Joel to the study.
Shaking with the guilt of wasting the chance his father worked so hard for, Joel hurried to the study.
Inside, he was met with the sight of his adoptive father’s back, hands tucked behind him.
“I worked so hard to arrange that… Joel, I am deeply disappointed in you.”
The atmosphere in the room was like thin ice.
Large servants stood there holding whips and clubs, glaring at him with suffocating intensity.
They looked ready to beat Joel the moment the Count gave the order.
In the past, Joel had been beaten harshly whenever he disappointed his father.
But this time, it seemed the Count would not be satisfied with just whipping Joel himself.
Joel had heard so many times how much money his father had spent to arrange this meeting.
Thinking he might actually be beaten to death, Joel’s legs shook uncontrollably.
He immediately dropped to his knees and crawled toward his father’s back.
“Father, I’m sorry. P-please give me one more chance. I will never disappoint you again. Please, just forgive me this once…”
“One more chance? Goodness, what a boring joke! Why don’t you just ask to ruin the entire Lucas family fortune while you’re at it? Do you have any idea how much gold I gave Duke Ernest? Even selling your lowly birth father’s entire estate wouldn’t be enough to pay back that money!”
The Count turned around, exploding in anger.
At the thunderous shout, Joel felt his heart drop.
“I heard that while the Crown Prince sat there bored, drinking tea, you didn’t even try to say a single word. Did you even think about releasing those dominant pheromones you’re so proud of? You stupid, pathetic boy.”
“T-the Crown Prince was just so scary…”
“Scary? Did the Crown Prince raise his voice at you? Did he put a sword to your throat? What was so scary that you sat there with your mouth shut like a mute!”
Furious at the excuse, Count Lucas kicked Joel in the shoulder with his booted foot.
Joel groaned and tumbled to the floor, but none of the servants standing in the room moved to help him.
Only after Joel spent a long time clinging to his father’s pant legs and begging for mercy did the Count’s anger seem to settle.
“…It seems you finally realize your mistake, so I will stop the lecture here. But you must be punished. Since you found a simple silence so frightening, I will show you what true fear looks like.”
“P-punishment?”
Joel, who had been relieved that the physical beating might be over, couldn’t help but look terrified again at the mention of ‘punishment.’
“Why? Do you dislike it?”
“No, Father. I will gladly take whatever punishment you give me.”
“As you should.”
The father nodded as if it were obvious and commanded the servants, “Take him away.”
Joel’s neck was grabbed by a strong servant and he was dragged away roughly.
Even though he had told his father he would accept the punishment, the violent behavior of the servant made him cry out instinctively.
“Father! Save me! I was wrong! Father! Father!”
Joel was dragged down to the basement and locked in a small storage room.
“Why… why are you doing this! Let me out!”
“The Count said you should spend the whole night in there reflecting on your sins. He said it’s not right for a sinner like you to sleep in a soft bed.”
Banging on the door, Joel looked around with terrified eyes.
It was so dark he couldn’t see anything.
Feeling the walls with his hands, Joel realized the space was so cramped he could barely even crouch down.
“When can I come out?”
“When the Count thinks you have reflected enough, he will let you out.”
“But when exactly… wait! Don’t go!”
No matter how much he threw away his pride and begged, he couldn’t stop the sound of retreating footsteps.
Joel was left alone in the suffocating space.
The pitch-black prison felt like a coffin.
Even if he died right here, no one would know.
A wave of terror washed over him, and Joel began to gasp for breath.
He missed his father, and he wanted to go back to the peaceful lands of Sir Bennet.
He didn’t want to die like this…
“Ah… no. No…!”
Shaking his head and wandering through the nightmare, Joel finally opened his eyes.
Bright sunlight was streaming through the carriage window.
With eyes full of tears, Joel looked around in confusion before remembering he had fallen asleep on the way to Count Gray’s castle.
The nightmare he just had was nothing new.
After that first time, his adoptive father had locked him in the basement storage room several more times as punishment.
Joel, who had suffered there until he nearly went mad, often had nightmares about being trapped in that basement.
Being locked in the basement was the punishment Joel feared most.
He could somehow endure being hit with a rod, slapped, or being forced to confess his stupidity and be mocked in front of lowly servants.
But being stuck in the basement, staring at a door that wouldn’t open, was so painful it felt like dying would be better.
Wondering when he would ever be free from these nightmares, Joel wiped his eyes with hands that were damp from cold sweat.
On the days after he was let out of the basement, his disgusting adoptive father would hug him.
He would say he gave the punishment only because he wanted his foolish son to learn.
In his past life, Joel believed he received these punishments because he had truly disappointed his father.
He believed that if he just did better, he wouldn’t be punished.
Looking back now, he realized his past self had been incredibly stupid.
After experiencing death and returning, Joel could see his father’s ugly, greedy nature.
He wanted to despise the wicked man who tricked and used him.
But to be honest, Joel was still afraid of him, both then and now.
His anger eventually turned toward himself. Joel hated himself for being a puppet in his father’s hands even more than he hated the man who used him.
Thinking about the past made something hot surge up inside him.
Joel pressed his cheek against his cloak.
When he did, the bergamot scent of the Crown Prince’s pheromones tickled his nose like a comfort.
The Crown Prince was the only jewel he had.
He was his only ally, the only person he could trust and rely on.
Of course, his birth father, Sir Bennet, was also on his side, but he wasn’t someone Joel could rely on.
Even while his cheeks were soaked with tears, Joel kept his judgment clear.
Even though he was surrounded by the refreshing pheromones, the dark, musty shadow of the basement would not leave him.
Joel wrapped the cloak tighter around himself, trying to chase away the fear.
However, the feeling of being all alone in the world didn’t fade at all.
In the end, Joel—sobbing like a little child—had to knock on the carriage wall to make the driver stop.
