Quietly Hiding that I am a Man chapter 83- Fake Guppy

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Jerome’s voice was a low, hypnotic tone, perfectly suited for inducing obedience.

In a situation like this, where my vision was blocked and my other senses were heightened, it was impossible not to be swayed by that pleasant sound.

Due to the mind control, I couldn’t muster any strength, and our lower bodies were pressed together.

His lips met mine, and his tongue forced its way inside.

Jerome’s erection, embarrassingly hard, kept brushing against my thigh.

‘No, this is bad. I might really get caught like this.’

Every time Jerome’s hand grazed my inner thigh, goosebumps erupted all over my body.

The fear of being discovered as a man, mixed with the strange sensations, clouded my mind.

‘Besides, Jerome likes women. He wants a woman who can start a family with him. If he finds out Jeanne is a man, surely…’

My head felt like it was filled with static, like several radios playing at once.

Would Jerome be angry if he found out Jeanne was a man?

Or would he be ashamed of the fact that he had gotten aroused by another man?

Maybe he’d threaten me, telling me to never appear before him again.

Jeanne, being a man, could be killed easily.

My thoughts spiraled out of control, making my breathing grow shallow.

‘I’m going to be rejected.’

As Jerome’s relentless tongue continued to invade my mouth, I tried to turn my head, but he grabbed the back of it.

Compared to me, whose growth had been delayed, Jerome possessed a physique so solid that even other adult men would admire it.

As his densely built body pressed down on me, I felt my organs being crushed, and a wave of suffocating fear washed over me.

“Cough, ugh…”

As soon as our lips parted, a sticky sound followed, and I choked on my own saliva.

Jerome lifted me up with one arm, as if I had lost all my strength just from the kiss.

He sat me on his lap, locking me in place by wrapping his arms tightly around my waist, ensuring I wouldn’t fall back.

I rested my forehead on Jerome’s shoulder, breathing raggedly.

Jerome, too, leaned his chin on my shoulder and spoke.

“What should we start with? Should I make you come every time I call your name?”

I was about to get angry at the absurd suggestion, but then Jerome whispered softly.

“Jeanne.”

A ringing sound filled my ears, and for a moment, I stopped breathing.

Along with the urge to urinate, a dull pleasure pressed against my lower abdomen, making me sit up straight.

The intense, continuous pleasure forced me to let out soft gasps of “Ah” and “Ugh.”

Jerome, watching me tremble with amusement, bit my flushed earlobe gently.

“Don’t tell me, did you really come?”

“…”

“You did, didn’t you? It’s so stiff down here.”

Jerome, who had been smiling faintly, suddenly slipped his hand under my shirt. I wanted to push away the hand rubbing my nipple with his thumb, but my body wouldn’t respond.

If I had to describe this feeling, it was like the pleasure you’d get from masturbating, but forcibly amplified.

As I took deep breaths, trying to cool down the unfamiliar heat, Jerome gathered my wrists behind my back and pressed his tongue flat against my exposed nipple.

“Stop! Don’t do that!”

Despite my panicked reaction, Jerome didn’t stop.

The insistent stimulation of his tongue grinding against my skin made me painfully hard below.

Watching me moan, Jerome blew softly on the hardened nipple, his dark eyes locked on mine.

It was a sight too indecent to witness, so I averted my gaze.

“With a chest this small, I wonder if you could even nurse Chloe.”

Though the unfamiliar sensation was unbearable, I couldn’t move.

Tears—or maybe it was sweat—slid down my cheeks.

As the intense pleasure subsided and I entered a brief lull, my entire body went limp.

But Jerome, not allowing me a moment’s rest, called my name again.

“Jeanne, I like you.”

“Ah, ugh…”

“Jeanne…”

My inner thighs trembled, and my head lolled back.

Every time Jerome called my name, a jolt of pleasure ran through my stomach, making my back arch instinctively.

If I could just release, maybe it would be better.

The pleasure was there, but with no outlet, my mind felt like it was going insane.

“You’re not already exhausted, are you? You said you had experience.”

Every time I let out a sound resembling a moan, Jerome rubbed his hips against my thigh like a dog in heat.

Seeing me flinch with half-closed eyelids, Jerome pressed his lips against my cheek and whispered.

“Let’s just stay like this all night. I can tell the coachman to break the rest of the wheels.”

The thought of having to endure this pleasure all night made my mind go blank.

Desperate, I started to babble incoherently.

“I-I don’t have experience. I lied. You didn’t seem interested in someone without experience, so I…”

“…”

“I don’t want to keep going like this. Please, stop. My stomach is cramping, and it hurts.”

Though the words came from my mouth, I couldn’t even understand what I was saying.

Tears flowed down my cheeks without my control.

Every time the overwhelming pleasure hit, it felt like my brain was melting.

I could still feel the lingering heat in my lower body, making my hips twitch involuntarily.

‘I need to submit, crawl away. Just like dogs instinctively expose their bellies to show submission when they’re at a disadvantage. That’s a survival tactic embedded in their DNA over thousands of years.’

Sniffling pitifully, I rubbed my face against Jerome’s shoulder.

If it had been physical violence, I could have withstood it out of sheer stubbornness, but enduring repeated mental destruction from this intense pleasure was terrifying.

That’s why I wanted to grovel my way out of this situation.

For someone like me, with no sexual experience, this kind of stimulation was akin to torture.

After a long silence, Jerome finally spoke.

“You always act cute when things aren’t going your way.”

Jerome smiled faintly at my pleading, then suddenly grabbed a fistful of my hair.

The moment I met his cold eyes, I froze.

He spoke softly, his tone smooth but laced with menace.

“So, why the fuck would you lie to me and piss me off like that? It’s obvious you’ve never been touched before. Even if you hadn’t put on that front, I would’ve still given you what you wanted.”

I was so shocked that I even started to hiccup.

Jerome seemed slightly amused by my reaction as he carefully peeled the sweaty strands of hair stuck to my tear-streaked face.

“Blow your nose.”

Jerome bent his thumb and index finger, holding them up to my nose.

I hesitated for a moment, but seeing him patiently waiting, I sniffled and blew my nose into his hand.

Jerome casually wiped the snot on his trousers and spoke in a lecturing tone.

“Do that again, and you’ll get punished. Got it?”

Though his voice was low and gruff, his tone was oddly gentle.

So, all of this had happened just because I had said I was experienced?

What was even more disturbing was that Jerome had hidden his anger so well during all of this, despite being alone with me the whole time.

Probably to prevent me from sensing the danger and escaping!

I felt an overwhelming sense of helplessness at having been caught in the hands of this calculating psychopath, but I nodded meekly, wanting to end this horrific ordeal as quickly as possible.

“You should be thankful you have such a patient husband.”

“…”

“My cock feels like it’s going to explode… But as the lady of the Howard family, I can’t let you lose your virginity on the side of the road.”

You don’t mind putting me through an endless cycle of climax on the road, though?

I swallowed down the rebellion that rose up in my throat.

Being a man, I knew full well what he was enduring.

His bulging trousers were proof of that.

But I wasn’t exactly thankful.

The humiliation I’d just suffered was too great for that.

Exhaustion weighed down on me, and before I knew it, my eyes were closing.

‘I didn’t get caught.’

I didn’t know if the relief I felt was tied to that unnameable feeling in my heart or to the secret I continued to hide.

With a wave of calm, my mind began to drift, and I fell into a deep sleep.

✽ ✽ ✽

After the repairs were completed, the carriage began moving again, racing along the dark mountain road.

Jeanne, who had fallen asleep in Jerome’s arms, groaned as though trapped in a nightmare.

Jerome, watching her quietly, whispered something into her ear.

With his magic, Jeanne was finally freed from her nightmare, and her expression relaxed.

“Why did you lie, Jerome?”

A raspy voice pierced through the darkness.

Jerome’s gaze, which had been on Jeanne, shifted to the old woman sitting across from him.

Jerome already knew the name of the old woman, cloaked in a black robe.

Gripping her staff with both hands, she cackled, showing her yellowed teeth as she continued.

“I told you, didn’t I? If I die, you die too. That girl will end up killing both of us.”

Jerome’s hand, which had been twisting Jeanne’s hair, froze.

Staring blankly at the old woman, he chuckled softly and murmured.

“There are things even you don’t know.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing, just talking to myself.”

The old woman frowned at Jerome’s vague response.

“Could it be… you’ve fallen in love with that girl?”

“What made you suddenly think that? You didn’t say anything when I was with other women.”

“If you were your old self, you would’ve killed that girl already.”

At her matter-of-fact tone, Jerome smiled faintly.

She was right.

The old him would have killed Jeanne.

The moment Mephisto perished, it was only natural that the vessel that sealed him would be destroyed as well.

Yet, Jerome hadn’t stopped Jeanne from pursuing her miracle.

“Killing her is something I can always do.”

“……”

“And breaking her… that’s something I can do anytime too.”

Jerome’s thumb slowly traced Jeanne’s lips.

The moment Mephisto had been sealed in her body, Jerome had gained knowledge of every law that made up the universe, and all the principles that held it together.

Absorbing all that overwhelming knowledge, which would have driven any ordinary human mad, Jerome had reached a single conclusion: This life is meaningless.

This life holds no value.

This life is closer to a curse than a blessing.

“But you can’t find a pretty guppy like this just anywhere.”

A crimson light flickered in Jerome’s eyes. The old woman scoffed.

“So, you’re just planning to play with her and then kill her?”

“Is that how it sounds?”

Jerome chuckled briefly. He recalled the guppy he had once brought back from the lakeside as a child.

He had lied to Jeanne, telling her the guppy had died because of the water conditions, but that wasn’t true.

Jerome had adored the guppy so much that he had fallen asleep holding it in his hands that night, convinced that his warm body heat would bring it happiness.

But when he woke up the next morning, the guppy had died—killed by the very warmth Jerome had thought would make it happy.

Jerome wasn’t sad about the guppy’s death.

Rather, he was deeply disappointed that he could never find another guppy like it again.

And so, he had vowed that if he ever found another guppy like that, he wouldn’t let it die so easily.

To Jerome, Jeanne was that guppy.

A small, beautiful fish with a lovely violet tail—fragile and bothersome, the kind that would die just from being held too tightly while he slept.

“So this time, I won’t let her die so easily.”

Jerome playfully pinched Jeanne’s nose.

She grimaced in her sleep as if the lack of air was suffocating her.

Jerome watched her silently before finally releasing her nose.

As Jeanne gasped for air, Jerome carefully adjusted her in his arms and spoke softly.

“Of course, you don’t need to worry. I’ll grow bored of her sooner or later, over something trivial. In the end, none of this really means anything anyway.”

Feeling the old woman’s gaze on him, Jerome looked up.

He winked at her suspicious expression.

“When that time comes, I’ll take care of it.”

“Well, yeah… someone as twisted as you could never truly love anything.”

“If you’ve understood, then disappear. Even you shouldn’t disturb my wife’s rest.”

With a snap of his fingers, the old woman crumbled away like a sandcastle.

Jerome stared at the spot where she had sat, then glanced out the window.

A large, unnaturally bright moon hung in the pitch-black sky.

In the quiet that followed, Jerome intertwined his fingers with Jeanne’s.

Pressing his lips to her delicate earlobe, he whispered.

“Look at that, Jeanne.”

Jeanne trembled in her sleep at his cold, emotionless voice.

Watching her shiver, Jerome’s smile faded from his face.

Then, in a voice that echoed with death, he whispered.

“The moon is chasing you…”

The carriage, racing down the dark mountain path, was soon swallowed by the mist.

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