Quietly Hiding that I am a Man chapter 82- Fake guppy

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“Does it bother you that a business partner has an ex?”

“…”

“Why?”

I was sure Jerome would make a great pitcher if he ever took up baseball.

Grabbing a ball and throwing it straight for a strike—that’s what his question felt like, hitting me squarely and leaving me speechless.

Unlike Jerome, who waited calmly, I grew more and more anxious.

I should have snorted and said something like, ‘As if I’d care about your ex,’ or joked, ‘I’m curious about what kind of legend would have dated you.’

But instead of any clever comeback, memories of my childhood surfaced.

I remembered being a little boy, too scared to tell my father I had indigestion after he’d come home late from work.

I spent the whole night groaning in the dark, unable to ask for help.

I missed the right moment to respond and lowered my head, confused by the sudden memory.

‘Why am I thinking about that now?’

A cold sweat broke out, and my fingers went numb.

Unable to suppress the wave of nausea, I hunched over and groaned softly.

Jerome’s voice, calm and concerned, reached me.

“What’s wrong?”

“My stomach’s been off for a while now.”

I muttered, holding my arms around my belly, feeling like I was about to throw up everything I’d eaten.

When Jerome noticed how pale I was, the teasing smile vanished from his face.

I’d been trying to act normal, but the tension from the meeting had been wearing on me.

And yes, I had gagged when Jerome mentioned sexual contact, but I suspected my unease was more from nerves than discomfort with the idea.

“Don’t tell me you’re already pregnant with our second.”

I shot him a cold glare instead of responding.

Sensing the shift in my mood, Jerome immediately softened, wrapping his arm around my shoulders in a comforting way.

“Okay, okay,” he said, pulling me closer so that my head rested against his shoulder.

Leaning my forehead on his broad frame seemed to settle my queasy stomach a bit.

Jerome’s large hand gently massaged the back of my neck, as if trying to ease my tension, before he spoke again.

“If you make a kid just learning to walk try to run, of course they’ll fall.”

“…”

“Don’t push yourself. As the lady of the Howard family, you don’t have to rush for anything. If there’s something you want, I’ll bring it to you.”

Even though I wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure me or completely shatter my resolve, I found myself oddly comforted by his words.

His hand shifted from my neck to gently pat my back.

‘I see. I’ve always been running, even when I didn’t need to. Always afraid of being left behind.’

Even if I ran until I was out of breath, if there was no one waiting for me at the finish line, it didn’t matter.

I clenched my fists and squeezed my eyes shut, my voice trembling as I asked,

“Do I really not need to run?”

“…”

“Are you sure?”

The fear of rejection loomed over me again.

In my mind, I saw my father’s face, the same one he made when he’d reluctantly turned his back on me, pretending not to notice my suffering.

I knew it wasn’t his fault.

He had to go to work the next day, had to keep food on the table for me, had to avoid the expense of a late-night hospital visit.

But after rationalizing it that way, the child within me still asked, I understand my father, but who understands me?

Jerome’s low laugh, like dry leaves crunching underfoot, drifted down from above me.

His hand closed over my trembling fingers, and he whispered softly, just for me to hear.

“My legs are long, so it might be a bit hard.”

“…”

“But I guess I’ll try walking slow.”

Oddly, his silly comment about his long legs made the tightness in my chest disappear.

“Just don’t walk too slowly, or I’ll be in trouble,” he added playfully.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his attempt to lighten the mood.

Just as my emotions started to calm, I noticed something unsettling.

‘That divine ritual again…’

The holy symbols on Jerome’s forearms were glowing even redder than before.

And that wasn’t all.

His hands, thick with veins, trembled as if he were suppressing some deep desire.

My face froze in shock.

Jerome, sensing my gaze, casually pulled down his shirt sleeve.

“Shall we head back?”

Jerome stood up and left.

Even after he disappeared from sight, I couldn’t get up for a while.

A thought struck me.

‘Once we destroy Mephisto, what will happen to Jerome?’

The only thing written in the text was that we could destroy Mephisto by using Maya’s power through the Stones.

There was no guarantee that the vessel holding him—Jerome’s body—would survive.

My heart pounded.

‘No, that can’t be right.’

I tried to shake off the creeping dread.

Clenching my fists, I stood and followed Jerome.

But just seeing his leisurely back made my stomach churn all over again.

‘Maya wouldn’t be that cruel to Jerome… would she?’

✽ ✽ ✽

By the time the carriage headed back home, the sun was setting, casting long shadows across the horizon.

The weather had been sticky and warm, typical for the tail end of spring.

After an exhausting day, I found my eyelids growing heavy, even with Jerome sitting next to me.

I pressed my nails hard into my palm, forcing myself to stay awake.

Jerome, who had been quietly reading, noticed my struggle and casually spoke up.

“If you’re sleepy, you can sleep. I don’t spend all day thinking about jumping you, you know.”

“All day? So, you’re saying you still dedicate a few hours to it?”

There was no response.

Trying to hide my embarrassment, I glanced at the title of the book Jerome was reading.

Contrary to my expectations of some obscene novel, he was absorbed in a book about ancient magic.

Ancient magic, in this world, was something even scholars who had studied it for decades struggled to understand.

Yet here was Jerome, casually reading it like it was nothing.

To someone like me, with no magical abilities, it was fascinating to watch.

“Want me to help you win the selection test?”

Jerome’s sudden question broke the silence. I looked at him quietly.

Winning the selection test would increase the chances of finding Maya’s Stone and perhaps speed up Mephisto’s demise.

But I hesitated to answer right away because of a question that had popped into my mind just before getting into the carriage.

‘What happens to Jerome if Mephisto disappears?’

I had always prioritized Jeanne’s survival. I had a dream of retiring someday and writing a novel.

But if Jerome’s death was necessary to make that dream come true… I didn’t like that.

As if urging me for an answer, Jerome bumped his shoulder against mine, and I hesitantly replied.

“No. You said you didn’t want to do it. We’ll find another way.”

My sudden change in mood must’ve caught Jerome off guard because he raised one eyebrow, puzzled.

Even I didn’t know why I was hesitating so much.

To be honest, I was scared. Somehow, over time, I had grown attached to him.

Even though I initially disliked him, affection had crept in.

Jerome, who had been quietly observing me, finally closed his book.

“What now? What’s bothering you?”

“…”

“I already told you, I’m not your ex.”

It seemed Jerome had misunderstood and thought I was still upset.

He reached out to twirl my hair, a habit of his, but I stopped him by grabbing his hand.

I didn’t care if he had a hundred or a thousand ex-lovers.

There was only one thing on my mind right now. Looking at Jerome, I cautiously asked.

“What happens to you if Mephisto disappears?”

The moment the question left my lips, Jerome’s usual calm demeanor shifted to surprise.

Even someone as calculating as him hadn’t expected me to ask this.

I released his hand and tightly gripped his fingers—rough, tanned, and angular, so different from Jeanne’s pale, slender ones.

The longer Jerome stayed silent, the more anxious I became.

Without realizing it, I leaned slightly toward him.

“Do you die?”

Worry slipped into my voice without me meaning to.

Jerome’s eyes gleamed with a dangerous glint as he stared at me.

Just then, the carriage came to a jolting stop, interrupting the moment.

The coachman cursed under his breath and knocked on the window next to Jerome.

Sensing someone’s presence, Jerome spoke calmly.

“Jeanne, cover your face and move back.”

“What? Why?”

“Just in case.”

Reluctantly, I pulled my robe over my head to hide my face as Jerome had instructed.

Only then did he pull back the curtain on the window.

“What’s going on?”

“It seems the wheel hit a rock and broke. One side has completely collapsed. We’ll either have to repair it or switch to another carriage.”

“There aren’t many people around here, so finding another carriage will be difficult.”

Another event, huh? The coachman, looking troubled, hesitated before speaking again.

“We have tools prepared, so we should be able to fix it. However, it might take some time. Is that alright with you?”

Stranded in the middle of this deep forest, in the fading twilight, for three hours?

This was starting to bring back some old, unwanted memories.

Peeking out just over Jerome’s shoulder, I asked in a flat tone.

“And what if it’s not alright?”

“Tsk, don’t throw a fit just because things aren’t going your way.”

“Can’t you just use your magic to fix it?”

“It’s not right to take someone else’s job with magic. Labor is one of life’s essential values.”

I had noticed this before, but Jerome had these odd principles that he clung to.

It was like he could commit murder without blinking, but jaywalking?

Absolutely not.

I suddenly remembered the time in Maron’s cabin when Jerome had quietly advised me, “Jeanne, when making milk tea, it’s better to pour the tea before the milk.”

I had been baffled at the time. “Does it really taste any different whether you pour the tea or the milk first?”

He had answered, “Yes, they’re definitely different,” with a rare serious expression, completely unlike his usual playful self.

‘That’s what makes him so unpredictable. I can never figure out what his standards are.’

I sighed and settled back into my seat.

Of course, with Jerome here, there was no real danger, but I still didn’t want a repeat of the last unexpected ambush.

Resting my chin on the window frame, I stared up at the now pitch-black night sky and asked again.

“So, do you die? Hurry up and tell me. I don’t want to save myself by sacrificing you. We’d be better off using this time to come up with a backup plan.”

“Would you remarry if I died?”

“Yep.”

“Then I won’t die.”

As I stared at Jerome, who responded without hesitation, a strange thought crossed my mind.

Is choosing between life and death as simple as picking between white rice and black rice?

With a puzzled expression, I nodded.

Well, if it were anyone else, maybe, but this guy?

He probably wouldn’t go down so easily.

“Alright, let’s go for the selection test. We might not get an opportunity like this again.”

“Fine. But there’s a condition.”

“…A condition?”

Jerome suddenly leaned closer, and I instinctively leaned back. He reached out and pulled the curtain shut on my side of the carriage.

The starlight was cut off, plunging the carriage into darkness, where only the sound of our breathing filled the space.

His fingers brushed my earlobe in the dark, sending a shiver down my spine.

“I’ve never tried it before, but theoretically, my hypnosis magic could make you so sensitive that even the slightest stimulus would drive you wild. I could make it so just hearing a certain word would send you over the edge.”

“…”

“If you experienced that kind of extreme pleasure for hours, your mind would probably break. But with your experience, that wouldn’t be too much for you, right?”

I widened my eyes at the sharpness of his words.

He hadn’t forgotten what I’d said earlier after all, and it seemed to have stuck with him.

Grinding my teeth, I groaned inwardly.

‘This crazy bastard, is he really threatening to rewire my brain with hypnosis magic?’

Realizing the gravity of the situation a moment too late, I tried to escape, but before I could react, I was pinned down.

His hands roamed over my chest, and my body froze.

What’s going to happen to me?

Am I going to become a brain in a jar, only reacting to the electric impulses Jerome decides to send me?

Just before I could be completely overwhelmed, a low chuckle reverberated in my ears, as if it was scraping against my eardrums.

“Jeanne, from now on, relax your body.”

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