For days, the internet was ablaze, fully decorated with news of the new Empress.
Although rumors circulated in some quarters that it was a false report, they were merely passing whispers, and no other articles emerged to refute it.
Even though I told my family that I didn’t care in the slightest about the Emperor’s marriage, I couldn’t stop checking the articles.
“Has an Empress really been decided upon? Come to think of it, that position has been vacant for far too long. It used to be a role I managed entirely, but with me gone as well… Joo Minhyuk held out for a long time.”
She must be a dominant Omega with an excellent bloodline, right?
The Empress Dowager always desired a dominant Omega.
So, without even looking, it was bound to be the case.
You could see it just from the fact that Han Heesung was the former candidate for Empress.
I was slightly curious about which family’s Omega she might be.
What kind of person is she?
Who is this person who so easily claimed the seat of the Empress—a position Joo Minhyuk absolutely refused to grant to me?
Needless to say, they must be a descendant of a prestigious clan.
If they are an Omega, would they be female-gendered or male-gendered?
Given how exalted the position is, they are bound to be an exceptionally splendid individual.
The only dominant Omega I know is Han Heesung, but surely it isn’t Heesung, right?
Meaningless assumptions and guesses completely filled my head.
I hope they are someone far more beautiful and from a better family than me, someone completely beyond comparison.
Only then would I be left with no lingering regrets.
I hope it is an Omega from a family that Joo Minhyuk genuinely took a liking to, rather than an arranged marriage forced upon him by the sheer power of my own clan.
Joo Minhyuk always wanted that kind of spouse.
A partner who would willingly lend him strength and become a source of power—a spouse who was completely on his side.
Feeling bitter, I aggressively tapped my phone to check the articles for no reason.
[The A Concubine? Emperor’s Empress Formal RoyalWedding. ]
[Who Emperor’s Empress? ]
The headlines of the articles, racing to mention my name, were incredibly provocative.
What was their intention in deliberately bringing up someone who is already a stranger to the Emperor and writing articles that pit us against each other in a competitive structure?
Besides, even now, my heart would still thud wildly at the mere sight of the words ‘Grand Imperial Concubine.’
An imperial family striving to erase my traces, and media outlets continuously making me appear.
It has been five years since I left the palace, so I have no idea why they are making such a fuss as if there are still things left to erase.
Given how little presence I actually had, using words like whether I’m erased or not, or how the new Empress needs to surpass me, is a truly petty choice of vocabulary.
“If it makes you uncomfortable, don’t look at it. You already know how journalists are.”
Hanbin Hyung, who had approached silently without me noticing, spoke with a calm expression.
He took my phone away, glanced at the article briefly, and turned off the screen.
Caught looking at something I didn’t want to show, I made the excuse that there were simply too many articles, so I had no choice but to see them.
“It’s the news of the Emperor’s wedding, so it’s only natural for the nation to be in an uproar. It’s not a concubine, but the Empress, no less. It’s a formal marriage ceremony.”
“Your wedding was a formal marriage too. It was a proud, formal ceremony conducted as a state ritual by establishing the Royal Wedding Bureau. You received treatment equivalent to an Empress.”
Hyung brought up my marriage—which I had no memory of—as if he were upset on my behalf, but I had no way of knowing about it.
Since that was before I transmigrated into this body.
At any rate, I know from reading that it was magnificent.
However, a concubine is merely a concubine.
Even if I entered through a formal marriage, because I wasn’t the Empress, the position always felt somewhat awkwardly suspended.
Naturally, an Empress possesses a level of dignity completely different from a concubine.
In the first place, the reason the imperial concubine system—which is entirely out of step with modern society—revived was because my grandfather pushed for me to be introduced as the Empress from the very beginning.
The Grand Imperial Concubine title was the exact byproduct of the imperial family playing tricks to avoid ever accepting me as the Empress under that absurd demand.
Perhaps the reason they couldn’t invest Heesung as the Empress back then was due to the backlash from the Grand Imperial Concubine’s faction.
Everything had transpired because of my family and my grandfather.
Ugh, how complicated.
Just thinking about it gives me a headache.
Empress or whatever, you figure it out on your own, Joo Minhyuk.
Whenever I occasionally think about Han Heesung, I feel sorry.
I felt so incredibly sorry about the way things ended.
Because we parted ways like that and haven’t even been able to contact each other, I’ve been worried.
There are so many things I want to know, like what happened to him and Hyunwook afterward, and whether they are doing well.
After some time had passed, I gathered my courage and tried calling them, but both of their phone numbers were already disconnected.
They had definitely both said they wouldn’t change their numbers, but it seems things didn’t go according to their wishes.
As a result of occasionally looking into it through Seojoo, we couldn’t find out detailed news about either Hyunwook’s or Heesung’s families.
The only thing we could learn was that both Hyunwook’s father and Heesung’s father had significantly reduced their social activities.
Hyunwook’s father had reportedly closed down all the academies, gyms, and other activities he used to run, and was now only operating the imperial martial arts school.
As for Heesung’s father, there was only news that he had stepped down from his position as Chief Prosecutor and left the Prosecution Service, but no other word could be heard beyond that.
I had no way of knowing the recent status of Hyunwook and Heesung, which were the things I wanted to know most.
The scar on Heesung’s face was deep; did it heal well?
Even so, he was the proud main character in the original work, so it only makes me feel guilty to think that he is living a completely different life now because of me.
If things had flowed according to the rules and the course of the original work, Heesung would be living the life of the Empress right now by Joo Minhyuk’s side, a position that originally belonged to him.
Because that was Heesung’s place.
Yet, far from becoming the Empress, he wasn’t even called by the name of Yeonghwa Pavilion, and he couldn’t even recognize his own Alpha, failing to enjoy the things he rightfully deserved to enjoy.
No, he didn’t even get the chance to become the resident of Yeonghwa Pavilion.
The one whose life got twisted the most might actually be Heesung.
That’s why my heart aches the moment I think about him.
When I recall his face smiling at me while knowing nothing, it feels as tight as if a massive boulder were lodged in my chest.
If only I could know how he is doing.
“Haejoo. Are you truly feeling okay?”
Seeing me fall deep into thought while recalling Heesung, Hyung studies my expression, perhaps misunderstanding the reason.
“My feelings? Oh, I’m fine. I was just thinking about something else for a moment.”
However, Hyung doesn’t believe my words and lightly pats my shoulder.
Ha, he doesn’t believe me?
I’m really not acting like this because of Joo Minhyuk, you know?
“I’m serious, okay? I’m truly feeling fine! Why would my mood be bad just because my divorced husband is getting remarried?”
In truth, it isn’t exactly pleasant news, but strictly speaking, this isn’t a matter of whether I’m okay or not.
We are strangers now, and I was the one who wanted us to become strangers more actively than anyone else.
Since I was the one who stubbornly insisted on leaving Joo Minhyuk and exiting the palace in the first place.
Everything was entirely my own choice and decision.
Therefore, there is no reason for my mood to be bad.
It’s just that my heart strangely feels empty.
I shouldn’t let this issue worry the other family members anymore.
We are strangers now, and since Joo Minhyuk has even brought in an Empress, I need to live my own life too.
What’s the use of worrying about a person who tried to confine me at the very end?
Right!
Five years have passed already, so I should forget everything and live my own life completely.
“Hyung said dad is coming today, so what should we eat?”
“Ah, today is the day dad comes, right?”
Hyung brought up dad as if trying to change the subject.
Today is the day dad returns from Europe.
Our dad, who is working incredibly hard to support us…
He has probably already come across the articles.
He will surely be anxious while trying to read my mood.
His feelings toward the Emperor haven’t been good since that day either, so I need to do well.
“Should we prepare the pork cutlet that dad likes? He loves grinding sesame seeds finely and mixing them into the sauce.”
“Yeah! Let’s do that. We even received some good sesame seeds a while ago. A grandmother who is a regular at the cafe gave me a bag of sesame seeds…”
My mouth snapped shut mid-sentence as I was excitedly talking about sesame seeds.
Seeing me suddenly freeze up and fall silent, a startled Hyung steps closer to me.
“Haejoo? Why, why did you suddenly…?”
Hyung couldn’t hide his tension upon seeing me display such a drastic shift in emotion.
Rather than making an excuse that I was fine, I let out a hollow voice and muttered lowly.
“…Sesame seeds. Sesame seeds are really small, right?”
“What kind of random statement is that, saying sesame seeds are small?”
Because I brought up something entirely unexpected, Hyung observes me vigilantly.
It must seem sudden and strange to him.
However, it couldn’t be helped.
Because there was something I remembered.
Because that unforgettable existence crossed my mind again, causing my heart to sink.
“I’m talking about sesame seeds. They say a fetus at four weeks of pregnancy is about that size. They say it’s the size of a single sesame seed. It’s incredibly small, isn’t it?”
“…Huh?”
As an unanticipated topic comes to light, the hand Hyung had placed on my shoulder tightens.
“A tiny fellow like that left behind so much blood when it departed. Its presence when it left was definitely not a sesame seed, but closer to something like a watermelon.”
Gazing at my face as I let out a faint laugh, having lost his words, Hyung gently embraces me and strokes my back.
“Right. I’m sorry for not being more attentive to your feelings.”
“How could you possibly be any more attentive than you already are? It’s just that since I’m in front of you, Hyung, I’m throwing a tantrum because the sesame seeds reminded me of it.”
My child, who was so small.
It was a fragile life that was closer to a cluster of cells than a human being, but due to the guilt of failing to protect it, I occasionally fall into this pathetic state.
Some people might not understand, wondering if I’m overly immersed and digging a pit for myself to climb into.
But this is an emotion that a person who hasn’t experienced it can never truly comprehend.
A gloomy emotion that is entirely unfamiliar even to me.
It’s guilt.
I’m enduring it well, but there are still far too many things left for me to overcome in the future.
It seems we should definitely eat something other than pork cutlet for dinner tonight.
