Five years later.
“It is really windy today. I should go back inside after just a little longer.”
Naturally, the ocean breeze in February was freezing.
Today, I was once again squatting in a corner of the beach, blankly staring out at the sea.
It had become a habit that didn’t carry any particular meaning.
Whenever I looked at the vast ocean, it felt like all my worries and complicated thoughts became nothing, which put my mind at ease.
Watching the sea was a habit I picked up when I used to follow my dad around on ships.
After hiding away on the water, I trembled with anxiety for a few days.
I thought Joo Minhyuk had seen me on the cruise ship and would definitely search for me.
To a man like him, finding that massive vessel would be child’s play.
Yet, Joo Minhyuk did not search for me.
Days passed, and everything remained completely quiet.
No one chased me or tried to capture me anywhere.
The world was peaceful, as if a person like me didn’t even exist.
At the very least, I wanted to know what had happened to Hyunwook or Heesung, but I had no way of finding out.
I was constantly anxious, worrying that pressure might be put on my dad’s company or Seojoo’s family for helping me, but that wasn’t the case either.
There were no changes around them, and no one suffered any disadvantages.
The world kept spinning perfectly fine, as if it didn’t care at all about someone like me floating out on the water.
At times, that made me even more insanely anxious.
My stomach would churn every night, keeping me from falling asleep.
However, I soon realized that the anxiety belonged entirely to me alone.
The imperial family announced the separation between the Emperor and me.
The word ‘divorce’ wasn’t used, but even without the word, everyone knew it was our end.
I can never forget the day I saw the official announcement of our separation in an article.
It wasn’t a feeling of relief, but strangely, a sense of emptiness.
Even though it was the conclusion I had wanted, I read and reread the announcement until I had practically memorized it.
I greeted the New Year—the one he said we would spend together—all by myself on the cold sea, staring at an imperial document.
Like that, I wandered aimlessly with my dad, taking time to focus entirely on myself.
It took a very long time to heal the wounds piled up inside me.
At the time, things were hitting me so frantically in succession that I didn’t even realize my mind had fallen sick.
But it must have been a deep wound, because it took quite a while to close up, and the healing is still ongoing.
Back then, I just had to live and endure.
Therefore, I didn’t have the luxury to face my scars.
The sickness of my mind was one problem, but my body wasn’t exactly normal either.
The bone that had been displaced when my grandfather beat me throbbed whenever a cold wind blew, and because something had gone wrong when I miscarried the child, my lower abdomen still tightens and aches dully from time to time.
Perhaps due to all of that, my pheromones stopped releasing again, just like before.
I couldn’t properly sense Alpha pheromones, and no pheromones came out of my own body either.
It felt as though I had become a Beta.
Perhaps this state is actually more suitable for my current lifestyle.
My health is already poor, so if I were to go through a heat cycle, the suffering would be beyond words.
On top of that, if an Alpha were to get entangled with me, things would only get complicated.
Fortunately, during the three years I traveled with my dad, I had no pheromone responses, to the point that people assumed I was a recessive Omega.
Even though two years have passed since I finished my wandering life and settled down on this island, my pheromones still show no sign of appearing.
Because of my irregular pheromones, I feel anxious not knowing when they might flare up, but luckily, this place has a high percentage of elderly people, which lessens my psychological distress.
Still, it never hurts to be careful.
After leaving Joo Minhyuk’s side, I spent my time constantly sleeping and lying down, eating meals, resting blankly, watching people laugh and chat, and looking at the sea.
Standing or sitting blankly, I looked at the sea over and over again.
For a year, I dreamed of that time.
Even when I was beaten by my grandfather, the dream wouldn’t end, which was incredibly agonizing.
Whenever I woke up, my entire body was drenched in sweat.
And even now, I still dream of Joo Minhyuk. In the dreams, we are always happy.
Every single day is full of happiness, as if nothing bad had ever happened.
The times I went to the hot springs with Joo Minhyuk and the day we spent at the amusement park must have been quite happy, because I repeat those dreams over and over.
In the dreams, we were always attached to each other, and not a single tear was shed.
But it is truly strange.
Was it because the dreams were too happy?
Waking up was harder and sadder than when I had terrible nightmares.
When I woke up and opened my eyes in the middle of a happy moment, a uniquely severe wave of depression would assault me.
Joo Minhyuk was gone, and it felt like only a miserable version of myself, left with lingering physical aftereffects, remained alone.
When I sat up after waking from those dreams, a certain thought would come to mind.
The thought that I wanted to say the words I had wished to say, at least once.
What would it have been like if Joo Minhyuk had left the imperial palace to live an ordinary life with me?
‘Your Majesty, then would you like to go with me? If you have no intention of letting me go, would you like to go out and live with me? Can you stay outside the imperial palace?’
I imagine this scenario dozens of times.
Though Joo Minhyuk’s answer would be obvious.
There is no way he would give up being the Emperor to live normally with me.
He probably wouldn’t even know how to do anything if he weren’t the Emperor…
Even while knowing it made no sense, there were days I wanted to say it anyway.
When I first arrived in this world, I lived for five years like strangers, and then we lived apart for another five years.
Yet, it is fascinating how the mere four months sandwiched between those times refuse to be erased, lingering as if we had spent forty years together.
It seems my four-month first love was simply too powerful. It really is an incredibly persistent emotion.
Since this is the life I chose, I want to be happier than anyone else, but it wasn’t as easy as it sounded.
Still, I try hard to completely heal my wounds in order to find my own true happiness.
So stop acting pathetic and head to work, Cha Haejoo.
“I should get up now. Seojoo will be looking for me. It is about time for the customers to come back after lunch. Whew.”
Straightening my body from its squatting position, I walked toward the center of the island.
This is a quiet island that tourist crowds rarely visit, a place you can only reach after riding a boat from the mainland for quite some time.
The island consists mostly of locals who have kept their roots here for generations, and the majority of the residents are elderly.
When the children’s vacation season arrives, the children and young people who occasionally return home bring some vitality to the area.
Lately has been one of those times, which allows me to see a few young faces at the cafe I run.
Here, I operate a cafe that caters to the elderly folks.
Having a dad who possesses nothing but money means I am in a position where I don’t strictly have to work, but staying idle felt tedious.
When I said I wanted to do something, my dad set up this cafe for me. I get to chat with the elders, and managing it has its own kind of fun.
Hanbin Hyung opened a small martial arts academy near my cafe, and I am secretly surprised to see it running better than expected.
I had worried about whether a business could even survive in a place with so few children, but it is doing so well that my anxiety proved to be entirely groundless.
It is mostly the elders who register to build up their physical strength, learning self-defense or specialized martial arts to protect themselves in dangerous situations.
Hyung seems to find it quite enjoyable.
He had to leave the military after getting caught up in my grandfather’s affairs, and on top of that, he suffered a lot taking care of me over the past few years.
Seeing him look energetic these days makes me happy.
“Right. There is no need to worry about others. I just need to live well myself. Just me. Today is also the day Seojoo comes back, so I need to move quickly.”
Seojoo’s life with me and my dad was surprisingly free.
Seojoo’s family didn’t particularly try to hold him back and allowed him a lot of freedom, which made staying together much easier.
Contrary to my expectations, Joo Minhyuk didn’t interfere, so we lived comfortably.
Seojoo still chose a life by my side, but he keeps in touch and visits his original home every now and then like this.
“Still, it is a relief. Since nothing bad is happening.”
“What are you muttering to yourself like that? If the owner has left the cafe empty for so long, you should hurry inside and get to work.”
…That annoying jerk is here again?
The moment I stepped into the cafe, a voice I hated to hear reached my ears, making my brow furrow instantly.
He was one of the young guys you could see around lately due to the vacation.
When I first moved to the island, he was studying on the mainland, so we had no reason to run into each other.
He hadn’t come to the island under the excuse of adjusting to his studies, making this winter break the first time we met.
But the way he picks a fight every time I see him is truly exhausting.
Even though he is younger than me, he keeps mixing casual speech into his words.
“We have staff, so please mind your own busi… Please don’t worry about me.”
“Wow, I come here every single day to boost your sales, and you tell me to mind my own business?”
Yes. Please do.
It was peaceful enough to live here, but you brought your friends along and are ruining the atmosphere.
This place is at its best when only the elderly are around, you jerk.
However, contrary to my wishes, that completely brazen brat dragged his group of friends to the cafe every day during the break, turning my stomach upside down at least once a day.
It wounds my pride, but Hyung and Seojoo will need to step in again to make this young punk shut his mouth.
“Hey, boss. Did you hear what I,”
“Why are you here bothering my Hyung again?”
“Huh? No, I wasn’t bothering him, I was just trying to have a conversation…”
“Why would you have a conversation with the cafe owner? Go back over there to your friends.”
As I stood there turning away indifferently, a welcome voice threatening the young brat sounded from behind my back.
It was Seojoo! It looked like Seojoo had arrived.
“Seojoo, Hyung! You’re here? Did you have a good trip?”
Stopping myself from habitually letting casual speech slip out, I ran over in a single bound, genuinely glad to see Seojoo, who was returning after spending a week in Seoul.
“Are the elders at your house doing well? Did everything go okay?”
“Of course. Hyung, you’ve been eating your meals properly, right? Dad is coming soon too, so you can’t be losing weight.”
We had only been apart for a single week, yet Seojoo looked me over with concern as if we hadn’t seen each other in ages.
I eat well now and don’t lose weight anymore, but to Seojoo, it seems I am still someone to constantly worry about.
However, Seojoo’s gaze as he looks at me today feels strange.
It is almost as if he is carefully studying my face while reading my mood.
Did something happen in Seoul?
“Why? Do you have something to say? Did something happen at home?”
“What do you mean, happen? It is nothing like that. Hyung, by any chance, did you see the news today? Or maybe look at the internet.”
The way Seojoo trailed off his words was slightly bizarre. The news?
“No? I didn’t watch the news. You know I don’t really look at that stuff. Why? Is there some big story?”
Finding Seojoo’s question puzzling, I pulled out my phone, but Seojoo stopped me.
He offered a smile as if it were no big deal, quickly changing the subject.
“Hanbin Hyung said he finishes early today, so he wants us to eat something delicious for dinner.
What do you want to eat, Hyung?”
“Then should we eat meat?”
Though the way Seojoo acted so pointlessly evasive today was strange, I smiled and brushed it off as nothing important.
And that evening, right before falling asleep, I checked the internet for a brief moment.
Only then did I understand the reason behind Seojoo’s behavior.
The internet was completely flooded with articles about the Emperor’s marriage.
