Choice.
That word felt like it was pressing heavily down on me.
“But… if I disappear…”
The words slipped out naturally, and in that moment, I felt a sharp realization shoot through me.
Ah… I’d already been expecting this.
And if my suspicions were right, I’d already been thinking about leaving Raizen.
[It’s okay.]
Seol spoke softly, resting his forehead gently against my arm, then rubbed against it slowly.
[It’s all okay. So do what you want to do.]
“But if I’m gone, Raizen… Raizen will…”
It was a thought that had always held me captive.
From the moment I arrived in this world.
Because I’d realized early on that I’d been possessed into this body in order to break Raizen’s curse.
And the closer I got to the truth, the more I believed that I had to stay by Raizen’s side.
Because I was the key to breaking his curse.
So I had to do well.
I couldn’t leave his side.
Then, my grandfather’s words came to mind.
“But… I wonder if those feelings aren’t coming from a sense of duty. It’s something that worries me, watching from the sidelines.”
He worried that my feelings came from obligation.
But I was sure they didn’t.
And my obsession with staying by Raizen’s side wasn’t quite the same as duty either.
Because I really was the one who could break his curse.
That’s why I denied my grandfather’s words…
‘But in the end, this has become my shackle, hasn’t it?’
“Ah…”
I thought my feelings for Raizen were pure.
That they weren’t tainted by anything else.
But now… I wasn’t so sure.
‘If I’m not there… and Raizen falls completely into his curse… if he ends up resurrecting the Demon King…’
Then the whole world could be in danger without me.
I had finally come face-to-face with the feelings buried deep in my heart.
I hated how Kim Minsoo had this entitlement just because he was the protagonist, but here I was… thinking the same way.
‘The world will be in danger if I’m not by Raizen’s side?’
So… was that why I broke his curse?
No. The only thing I ever did was suppress it.
More than that—
‘Honestly, I cared more about what Raizen felt than about his curse.’
It had been a while since I’d seen his curse manifest as those black masses.
Every now and then, I saw that dark energy in his body or in his eyes.
Each time, I’d been too focused on calming him down to really think about why it was happening.
“I…”
What was I even doing this whole time?
Everything suddenly felt like it was collapsing around me.
[Hey!]
Something soft but solid bumped into me.
I looked up to see Seol, as if he had been waiting for this, pushing his face close to mine.
[Just focus on your feelings! That’s what matters!]
“Haha…”
I pulled Seol into a hug.
His steady body warmth and gentle rise and fall of breath gave me a strange sense of calm.
“Okay. I’ll do that.”
[…But don’t rush it too much, okay?]
“Yeah…”
I said that, but I knew—once I saw Raizen again, I’d hesitate all over.
I’d probably need a little more time before I could ask him directly.
Still…
“I won’t take too long.”
∗ ∗ ∗
‘That dream again.’
Now, I could tell before my vision even cleared.
Every time I had this dream, a strange sensation wrapped around my whole body.
Like my stomach was churning, and the inside of my eyes stung.
Raizen still didn’t know what these emotions were—these signals his body gave off before his mind could recognize them.
His blurry vision cleared.
And there, as expected and as always, stood the one he had been waiting for.
Raizen smiled faintly at the sight of young Sean.
He hadn’t even realized he was doing it.
The dreams had continued without pause ever since he started dreaming as that man.
Raizen still couldn’t take control of the man’s body, as if he were trapped inside it, just watching things unfold.
Raizen thought the man’s answer was wrong.
That just waiting and sharing his feelings once they’d grown deep enough wasn’t enough to win the young Sean’s heart.
Though he hadn’t yet realized it, Raizen was beginning to feel the man’s emotions.
He just hadn’t noticed because he was too focused on trying to seize control of the body.
Today, young Sean appeared in that secret place once again.
But something was different this time.
Normally, the child would run straight into the man’s arms, but now he just sat there, curled up in silence.
Puzzled, the man approached him and carefully spoke.
Slowly, the boy lifted his head.
And in that moment, both the man and Raizen felt a blazing fury rise within them.
[Your face…]
One side of Sean’s cheek was badly swollen.
When their eyes met, the boy gave an awkward smile.
[I just… I messed up, that’s all…]
Messed up?
What kind of parent hits their child like that, no matter what they did?
If he could, Raizen would have gone to them and repaid the pain tenfold.
He’d already learned from the dreams that Sean’s parents weren’t exactly good people.
Maybe that’s why this world was never meant for him.
But even so, he never imagined they’d be this heartless…
[Yeah. I just… I was noisy, I talked too much, I was annoying… so…]
No. Absolutely not.
That’s not how it should be.
Children are naturally like that.
Even someone like Raizen, who was born cursed and raised under its shadow, knew that much.
So how could they—his own parents, not strangers—do this to a child?
A child who should’ve been treasured and protected.
[Are you okay?]
For the first time, Raizen felt in sync with another man.
It wasn’t a calculated move, like ‘If I comfort the boy a little, maybe his heart will follow.’
He just genuinely wanted to know.
Was he okay?
At those words, Sean’s eyes turned red.
The boy couldn’t even bring himself to sob.
He simply let thick drops of tears fall, one after another.
It was such a stark contrast from how he used to be—ready to lash out with a loud ‘Wah!’ the moment he was even slightly provoked.
‘He must’ve been hit harder the more he cried.’
That image overlapped with another memory of Sean—crying silently, biting down on his sobs.
It was the exact same expression Raizen had seen on him more than once.
And yet, he had never questioned it.
He simply thought ‘That’s just how Sean is.’
But he was wrong.
It wasn’t that Sean didn’t cry loudly.
He ‘didn’t know how’.
No one had ever told him it was okay to cry out loud.
No one had ever let him.
He grew up holding it all in, until eventually, he forgot how to cry altogether.
It felt like someone was squeezing his heart with a crushing grip.
He didn’t know if this emotion belonged to the man whose body he was in—or if it was his own.
Raizen could always clearly tell the difference before, but now… not anymore.
The man who had been silently watching young Sean finally opened his mouth.
[■hana.]
In that instant, Raizen’s eyes snapped open.
“……”
He stared at the ceiling for a moment, then suddenly sat up.
There wasn’t a single trace of sleep left on his face.
He didn’t even think to change clothes—he simply went straight to where he needed to be.
To Sean’s room.
Knock knock knock.
The urgency in his knock was unmistakable.
“Who is it?”
A moment later, Sean’s voice came from inside the room.
Raizen answered in haste.
“Sei, it’s me.”
The door slowly opened.
“Hyung? What’s going on so early in the morni—”
Before Sean could even finish his sentence, Raizen pulled him into a tight embrace.
Thump. Thump.
A heartbeat, loud and pounding, rang all the way to the top of his head.
He didn’t know whose it was—his or Sean’s.
