I quietly lowered my gaze.
I still wasn’t ready to look directly at Raizen’s expression.
What if he looked disappointed—or worse, was trying to pretend everything was fine?
He’d held onto hope that my strengthened divine power could help, and now that hope was gone.
I was afraid his attitude would change upon realizing that even this didn’t work on the curse consuming him.
“…You really don’t need divine power anymore, do you, Hyung.”
I’d known it.
Still, a part of me had clung to hope.
Because the only reason Raizen had needed me was my divine power.
That’s why, when I learned it no longer worked, the despair had been overwhelming.
When he told me he still needed me, even after that—his words felt like a lie.
‘But… it doesn’t feel as bad as I thought it would.’
There was a dull bitterness in having my faint hope crushed, but it felt different from before.
When I realized the sacred staff could amplify my power, I’d been filled with hope again.
Despite swearing never to go back, deep down I had still wanted to be useful to Raizen.
‘Ah…’
Suddenly, I realized something.
It wasn’t just Raizen who had been obsessed with my divine power—I was, too.
Because he only needed me for that, I thought that if my power lost its value, so would I.
‘I thought I had to be useful to him, or I wouldn’t be allowed to stay by his side.’
And that was what made it so hard to bear.
Because once I was no longer useful, I’d be abandoned.
That fear had made me run away.
I rejected him before he could reject me.
Looking back, both Raizen and I had probably known each other’s feelings to some extent.
I had sensed, vaguely, that he was aware of my feelings and using them.
That’s why I had been so afraid of the upcoming ball—where our engagement would be announced.
I felt like something would go terribly wrong if we actually got engaged.
And the final push that sent my already crumbling heart off the cliff… was realizing my divine power no longer worked on him.
Without realizing it, my gaze drifted to Seol.
That little white fox still didn’t look pleased, silently observing us.
The one who told me the truth—that my divine power was no longer useful to Raizen.
Even if Seol hadn’t said anything, I would have realized it eventually.
But by then, the world would already know that Seian Krebeta had survived, and that he was engaged to Raizen Pantheon.
Engagements can always be broken—but not the fact that I was alive.
And if Seian Krebeta suddenly disappeared again after barely returning?
That would cause a lot of problems.
Knowing that, I probably wouldn’t have been able to leave, even in despair over being useless to Raizen.
If that had happened, our relationship… and my heart… would have collapsed completely.
So in the end, Seol had done what he did to give me one last chance.
And yet, somehow, it all felt like it was meant to be.
The year-long absence, and the strange way something inside me had changed since reuniting with him.
‘How much do you know… and what are you hoping I’ll do?’
Seol must’ve known I was looking at him, but he didn’t meet my gaze.
He just kept staring somewhere between me and Raizen.
“Sei.”
When my silence stretched too long, Raizen called my name.
There was a nervousness in his voice I hadn’t expected.
I cautiously raised my eyes to look at him.
‘Why…’
Why did he have that expression on his face?
As if he was worried about me.
As if he was afraid of something.
It wasn’t an act—he wasn’t faking it.
Even the familiar pheromones that always wrapped around me so gently were now conveying the same emotion.
They say pheromones are pure instinct.
You can hide them, but you can’t fake emotions or desires that don’t exist.
But the person before me was Raizen.
Someone who could completely suppress his pheromones—so wasn’t it possible that he could fake them, too?
I started down that train of thought, but quickly gave it up.
That was just an excuse to protect myself.
“…How’s the curse?”
Instead of answering his call, I asked a question.
Raizen lowered his gaze for a moment before responding.
“It’s the same. Nothing’s gotten better or worse.”
“I see…”
To be honest, divine power was only a temporary fix.
Raizen might not know, but at least I did.
To break his curse, what was truly needed was ‘true love.’
I thought that if Raizen were to fall in love with a human, it would probably be me.
After all, everything had been arranged by Baldur.
In simple terms, it was destiny.
I thought maybe Raizen and I were fated to be together…
That’s why, for the first time, I started wanting Raizen’s heart.
I let myself hope.
Even though I hadn’t made any real effort on my part.
Because—I didn’t know. I didn’t know what love was.
Let alone true love.
So when my only worth—my divine power—disappeared… it felt like the ground beneath me vanished, and everything went dark.
‘How could I possibly give Raizen true love? How could we share something like that?’
I didn’t even believe in myself.
But when I reached the end of those thoughts, something inside me began to unravel.
It felt like I’d finally found the answer to a question that had plagued me for ages.
But the sense of helplessness didn’t vanish. I was still scared. Still terrified.
‘But… I’m not alone anymore.’
I had a family that loved me more than anyone.
Parents who had loved me from the moment I was born, even though I’d never met them and never would.
A grandfather who said he’d do anything for me.
And not just them.
The Duke and Duchess of Pantheon, who cared for me just because I was the son of an old friend.
There was also Mila.
And beyond that, a little divine beast who wanted nothing more than for me to be happy.
‘…It’s too much.’
Even if Raizen never loved me, I still had people who would comfort and hold me.
‘Maybe true love… doesn’t have to mean Raizen loves me back.’
If Raizen could just feel and believe that such a love exists—maybe that alone could be the answer to breaking his curse.
So I spoke again.
“Do you believe in love?”
Saying it out loud felt a bit embarrassing.
Like something out of a fairy tale or a novel.
But I didn’t want to take it back. I just quietly waited for Raizen’s response.
At the word “love,” his eyes flickered ever so slightly.
He stared into space for a moment, then lowered his gaze again.
“…”
“…”
A long silence followed—longer than I expected.
But I didn’t push. I simply waited.
I don’t know how much time passed.
Eventually, Raizen opened his mouth.
“…I don’t know.”
“…”
“I… I really don’t know.”
He stammered like a child just learning to speak.
The one who had always seemed composed and all-knowing suddenly looked like a very small, very lost boy.
“You asked if I believe in love. But before I can say whether I do or don’t…”
“…”
“…I don’t even know what that feeling is.”
Why? In that moment, I could see fear on Raizen’s face.
Was he afraid of love?
Why?
‘To break your curse, true love is required.’
I wanted to say those words.
But no sound came out.
I couldn’t even begin.
As if even giving a tiny hint was forbidden.
‘Even if love is the only way to break his curse?’
That’s what I really wanted to ask.
But I couldn’t say that either.
Whether it was due to the taboo, or because Raizen could somehow read through me—I wasn’t sure.
I wondered how he’d react if he knew love was the key to his curse.
Would he—if it were necessary—go so far as to fake that emotion, even deceive himself?
I guess… I was trying to test him.
‘I’m really not as noble as I’d like to think.’
Even though I’d made my decision, I was still afraid of being hurt.
My pain still came first.
With a heart like this, could I ever really offer true love?
“It’s okay. If you don’t know… then you can learn.”
“…”
“Because I… still love you.”
Even if it’s a mess—this feeling is still love.
