“It’s… okay to do it…”
Even with my eyes open, the world instantly went dark, and then the light slowly returned.
But it was still ash-grey.
It felt as though my skull had been filled with molten iron.
The substance gave me pain, heating up until it felt like my brain would melt, and then it hardened.
My entire body cooled to a chilling degree.
Eventually, it became so hard that my mind couldn’t turn. I couldn’t think at all.
“No, hey. Don’t misunderstand. I didn’t mean it’s okay to do it, I meant…”
Taewhan added a lot more after that, but I barely heard it.
Because of the buzzing sound, I couldn’t concentrate.
I just stared blankly at the gorgeously red-tinged tea, and when it had cooled down somewhat, I gulped it down.
The slightly sour taste coated my mouth, wetting my tongue, which served as a lubricant for me to open my mouth with difficulty.
“I’m going to sleep early today. Good night.”
I wanted to smile, but I don’t know if I succeeded.
Taewhan said something again as I got up, but I couldn’t hear that either.
Was it just nagging or a good night greeting?
I couldn’t even bring myself to answer.
I just walked straight ahead, towards my room, as if being chased.
- Click.
I didn’t just close the door; I locked it, scrambled under my blankets, and pulled them up over my head.
“Ugh…”
My room, my bed, my blanket.
Only after burying myself within several layers of security and feeling certain that this was my own personal space could I honestly let out the feelings that were filling my chest.
The tears I had been holding back streamed out of my mouth and eyes.
I had to cover my mouth with both hands to keep from making a sound.
‘Why am I acting like this…?’
I didn’t know the reason at all, but the tears kept flowing.
Continuously, uncontrollably, they kept coming.
I cried until the moment I fell asleep, keeping my mouth open and holding my breath as much as possible.
- Thud.
Though not strong, there was definitely a feeling of impact.
It was the first time I’d felt the sensation of landing a hit since starting this training.
I slowly lowered my gaze and saw my fist was planted right in the center of the protective gear covering Cha Taeyang’s chest and abdomen.
“Ah.”
“Oh.”
I was so surprised I almost fell backward.
I managed to brace my legs and didn’t fall, but I involuntarily staggered back a few steps.
Unlike me, who was still dazed and lacking a sense of reality, the person who had just been hit had a beaming smile on his face.
He was flushed red with excitement.
“Wow, Jehee, you… you finally succeeded!”
Cha Taeyang couldn’t contain the excitement that spread throughout his body, and he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug.
As I felt his hands patting my back, the realization slowly dawned on me.
I had actually succeeded in landing a blow on Cha Taeyang.
“See, I told you! I knew you’d grow rapidly once you experienced a real fight! I knew it!”
He was right.
Confronting the group that was tormenting ‘Gray Coat’ had been a major turning point for me.
My ability to find openings or spot movements was the same, but by consciously reducing the size of my motions, I could attack more efficiently.
I still lacked practice in putting power into short movements, so I hadn’t delivered a proper powerful blow, but I had achieved the goal of ‘successfully attacking.’
I had taken a big step forward.
“It’s thanks to you, Hunter. Thank you.”
“My pleasure. My disciple, I think I’ve taught you everything, so you may now leave the mountain.”
Cha Taeyang spoke with a solemn, lowered voice, even clasping his hands behind his back.
His appearance and manner of speaking, like a hidden master who becomes the fateful encounter of a martial arts movie protagonist, almost made me laugh.
“I’ve only succeeded once. I still have a long way to go.”
“Nah. The first time is the hardest, the second is easy. Now that you know the trick, all that’s left is rapid growth. Anyway, almost no Hunter can beat your kinetic vision, so you just need to learn by watching what other Hunters do.”
“I-Is that so?”
“Yeah. You trust me, don’t you? From now on, let’s focus on your personal training in the training room, and for me, let’s focus on fieldwork.”
“Yes. I look forward to working with you.”
“Oh my, our youngest has grown up, they’ve really grown up!”
His solemn demeanor lasted only a moment, and he quickly started rubbing my head vigorously with both hands, as if he was bursting with pride.
Was he trying to make my hair a bird’s nest?
Still, I was simply delighted to be praised.
Since receiving and storing this positive energy was the way to move on to the next stage, I decided not to be modest any longer.
“Speaking of which, the timing is perfect. Now that you’ve finally landed a hit on me, you can go on your date with Gray Coat in a good mood.”
Achieving a long-delayed goal and receiving tons of praise.
I was so happy I felt like I was floating on air, grinning widely, when the mention of the date suddenly brought me back to reality as if cold water had been thrown on me.
I quickly waved both hands.
“That…! It’s n-not a date, it’s just meeting up for a meal.”
“What are you talking about? That’s a date.”
“……But, but we aren’t officially dating yet…”
“Exactly. You’re flirting. Doesn’t it feel more like that than a meeting between friends?”
“That… is true, but…”
My mood became subtle.
It felt sad, and awkward, but definitely not good.
What Cha Taeyang said was clearly not wrong.
I had ended up making plans to meet and eat with ‘Gray Coat,’ and since he wanted to ‘court’ me, it wouldn’t be wrong to call this meeting a ‘date.’
However… I wasn’t sure.
My acceptance of this meeting was mostly because I couldn’t find a reason to refuse.
I wasn’t seeing anyone else, it was true that I liked him, Taewhan didn’t oppose it, and I didn’t have anything particularly busy going on.
But usually, isn’t a ‘date’ something you don’t go on with such a casual mindset? Shouldn’t I be much happier and more excited?
Above all, I’ve really been thinking about it constantly, and if you ask me if I want to be his lover, the answer seems to be no…
It’s certainly not that I dislike him.
He’s someone I respect deeply and is very close to ‘like.’
I feel a sexual attraction to him, too.
But… something kept bothering me.
An unidentified presence in my heart persistently asserted its uncomfortable existence.
But I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, so I didn’t know my own feelings.
I couldn’t find any further arguments, but my heart was too uneasy.
I squeezed my eyes shut and held back a sigh, and Cha Taeyang finally realized that my reaction wasn’t just simple ‘shyness’ and widened his eyes.
“What is it? Why the expression?”
“……I don’t know. If I should really meet his expectations.”
“If you’re worried because you don’t know his identity, don’t worry. That guy is a good person. He’ll treat you well. I told you I have a good feeling, right? Trust me.”
“It’s not really that I doubt things like that, I know he’s a good person. It’s just…”
“Just what?”
“I just, I don’t know…”
What is this nagging feeling that keeps bothering me?
I’ve thought and thought about it for the last few days, but no answer has come, and time is just slipping away.
Since I couldn’t make him wait too long, I somehow ended up making the appointment, and since I’d already committed, I tried to forget my worries by using my body, which resulted in today’s achievement.
“Ah, Jehee, don’t tell me. Is that Taewhan guy what’s bothering you?”
“…Huh?”
“I knew it.”
I was only surprised because he suddenly brought up Taewhan, but Cha Taeyang grinned, as if he understood everything.
He looked like a kid teasing a friend who was starting their first love.
It was an unbelievable situation for me. My face instantly flushed with heat.
“W-Why, why would Taewhan come up here?”
“What do you mean? The moment Taewhan’s name came up, you looked like you’d been hit where it hurts. Are you feeling guilty about flirting with Gray Coat because of him?”
“……No. No, I’m not. Taewhan actually told me to go on the date and cheered me on…”
“Ah. The opposite then? Are you upset because he let you go so easily?”
“……!”
Thump.
My heart made a huge sound and then started beating rapidly.
My face instantly turned bright red.
The blood rushed through my entire body, making me momentarily dizzy, and then my mind cleared.
Hearing his words, it seemed plausible.
What was left like sediment and kept bothering me might actually be Taewhan’s reaction, just as Cha Taeyang suggested.
I don’t know if his words are 100% correct, but it definitely seemed to be related to Taewhan.
The timing makes sense, doesn’t it?
I cried for a long time that day, and even after waking up, my feelings hadn’t resolved, so I deliberately avoided thinking about Taewhan and even subtly avoided him.
Not long ago, I was the one grabbing Taewhan and shouting at him to talk and not run away, but now it was the complete opposite.
I wanted to keep running away, but that wouldn’t solve anything.
Now, I had to admit it.
