Still, my lips wouldn’t move, confused about how to process this.
School rooftop.
Cha Rui clearly said that.
As soon as I heard those words, the scene I had seen in a dream a few days ago suddenly came to mind.
On the rooftop painted with green waterproof sealant, he stood stock still, dressed exactly in the school uniform from the photo.
Cha Rui, with black hair and a young face, glared at me with sharply honed eyes.
His eyes were deeply bloodshot with anger, and his face was wounded.
The tightly clenched fist was tense, as if ready to lash out at any moment, and the jaw muscle was twitching fiercely.
I had wondered in the dream why he wore such an expression, but now I seemed to understand the reason.
“Back then, I was so sure. Even though you always chased after girls, I thought you felt the same way about me in the end. Because your gaze… only followed me.”
Cha Rui continued to speak calmly, his arms crossed.
His detached attitude almost made him seem like a person who no longer cared about the past.
As if it had happened a long time ago and held no meaning.
But to my eyes, his deep wound didn’t seem to have fully healed.
Even though he pretended to be fine on the outside, his gray eyes, which were looking down at the table, were subtly shaking even now.
“Well, the result was disastrous…”
“……”
“And until a few months ago, I resented the hell out of you.”
A self-deprecating smile curved his lips, revealing a small canine tooth.
Seeing his bitter smile, I felt a sensation as if something was tightly lodged in my gut, like indigestion.
It was a suffocating feeling, enough to make me want to pound my chest with my fist.
While I remained silent, Cha Rui slowly leaned forward.
He tossed the spoon aside with an indifferent gesture, placed his arms on the table, and rested his chin on them.
“You said it before, that you felt relieved for losing your memory.”
“……”
“You’re right. I’m actually glad you lost your memory.”
It was the moment when the question I had carried all along was finally answered.
Cha Rui wanted me… no, he wanted ‘Seo Inho’ not to remember that time.
He was worried that if my memory returned, our relationship would be broken again.
The scattered puzzle pieces began to fit together one by one.
The reason why Cha Rui suddenly changed on the deserted island.
Even after experiencing such a thing in the past, he chose to stay by ‘Seo Inho’s’ side.
“If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have even gotten a glimpse of your face until I died. It was so hard to meet you.”
His tone carried a slight playfulness, as if trying to ease the rigid atmosphere.
He probably thought I was shocked and speechless.
Of course, that was part of it, but the bigger reason was that I was speechless for another reason.
“I… resented you, but I also missed you just as much.”
With those words, Cha Rui’s gaze, which had been wandering over the table, slowly rose.
The hint of a smile was completely gone, and his direct gaze was fixed on me.
I felt a heavy sincerity that was enough to take my breath away.
“I just wanted to see you once.”
The suppressed feelings of all this time were entirely contained in that one sentence.
A feeling of something being held back and restrained reached me, too.
It had been seven years since they graduated from school and lived their separate lives.
Since the feelings ‘Seo Inho’ had for him began even before that, the start of those emotions must have been much older.
Despite this, the fact that my heart was so strongly agitated suggested that the synchronization with ‘Seo Inho’ was progressing more than I thought.
My heart felt like it would burst even now.
My own feelings were certainly included in that.
Although I couldn’t define it exactly, I couldn’t deny that the remaining feelings of ‘Seo Inho’ and my own were the same.
Otherwise, my chest wouldn’t feel this heavy and tight.
Perhaps because of this, I acted on impulse without realizing it.
Unable to control the overwhelming emotions, I abruptly stood up, grabbed Cha Rui by the collar, and kissed him.
THUD!
At my sudden action, the chair fell backward with a loud noise.
Furthermore, due to the dining table between us, my leg was half-raised over it.
It was merely a collision of lips, not a kiss, but it was the first time I had initiated something like this.
Therefore, even my smallest movements were clumsy.
‘Insane, what did I just do?’
I realized too late and mentally shouted ‘whoops,’ but it was far, far too late.
When I pulled away with a shameful ‘chup’ sound, Cha Rui was already frozen solid.
“S-Sorry… I mean, this is…”
My face was pale, and I quickly let go of his collar and tried to retreat, but a large hand suddenly wrapped around the back of my neck.
Immediately afterward, he pulled me in roughly, and our lips crashed together again.
“Mph!”
This time, it was not a simple collision of lips.
As I carelessly parted my lips, a soft tongue forced its way through the narrow gap.
Never having kissed before in my life, a gasp escaped me from the unfamiliar sensation.
However, Cha Rui didn’t allow me a moment to catch my breath.
He tightened the grip on my nape and roughly shoved his tongue in, like a hungry beast.
The burning sensation aggressively churned inside my mouth, then pressed against the mucous membrane, burrowing deep inside.
It was savage, as if pouring out all the desires he had held back until now.
His every action was rushed and crude, yet even that was stimulating enough to make me lose the thread of reason.
Squeak.
I immediately grabbed Cha Rui’s cheeks and placed my other hand on the dining table, hearing a small creaking sound of the wood.
I was so excited that I had no time to focus on controlling my strength, almost breaking the table.
Without needing anyone to start, we explicitly explored and tangled our tongues together.
As we tilted our heads, our burning lips meshed tightly without any gap.
We were engrossed in exploring every corner of each other’s mouths, as if desperately craving the water of life.
Only the suppressed instincts remained, completely consuming my already dazed mind.
My own boiling emotions, added to ‘Seo Inho’s’ uncontrollable desires, swept over me.
‘No… I can’t hold back.’
“Haa.”
I exhaled my rough, held-back breath and fiercely pressed Cha Rui against me.
I strongly grabbed his red hair with the hand that was stroking his cheek and pulled him toward me.
It was meant to allow a deeper contact, but naturally, his body didn’t budge.
Instead, this action seemed to provoke Cha Rui, and he took advantage of my momentary lapse to wrap his arm around my waist.
And before I could react, he slammed me onto the dining table.
CRASH!
In truth, it was barely a ‘slamming,’ as it had no impact on an S-rank body.
The shock had to be completely absorbed by the table beneath me.
The wooden table screamed with another ‘crack’ from his rough action, but neither of us paid any attention.
The ingredients that had been neatly placed on the table scattered everywhere, and the half-eaten bingsu bowl fell to the floor with a sharp sound.
Condensed milk splattered on my face in the process, but I didn’t care.
More precisely, I didn’t have the presence of mind to be distracted.
I felt a cold sensation near my mouth and instinctively licked it with my tongue, causing Cha Rui to pause for a moment when he saw it.
But it was only a fleeting moment; he immediately climbed onto my body and pressed his lips onto mine again.
The intensity seemed even more fierce than before.
It was overwhelming, yet the fact that I was so excited meant I wasn’t in my right mind either.
“Uh…!”
Neither of us backed down, intent only on pulling the other closer.
Perhaps the impulse I felt in my room months ago meant something like this.
‘Seo Inho’s’ remaining instinct was constantly whispering that it had been waiting for this moment.
Did that mean ‘Seo Inho’ actually had feelings for Cha Rui?
As that thought flashed through my mind, I wrapped my arms around Cha Rui’s neck.
I gripped him tightly, as if I wouldn’t let him go to anyone, and he also pulled my waist firmly toward him.
Feeling restless, I rather hastily sucked on the tongue that had entered my mouth.
I clung to him like someone desperate, refusing to let go.
Noticing the change in my behavior, Cha Rui pulled his lips away, drawing a long string of saliva.
Since I was the one who was frantic, my head involuntarily followed his movement.
I tried to pull his neck and kiss him again, but his bloodshot eyes only calmly scanned my face without wavering.
His somewhat dangerous gaze slowly moved from my eyes to my nose, and then slid down to my panting lips.
After silently looking at my face, he unexpectedly slid his hand inside my pants.
“Ugh…!”
His large hand unhesitatingly grabbed my arousal, and a moan escaped me at the sudden stimulation.
My already stiffened lower body was so sensitive that it twitched even with a slight touch.
“Hgh! Wa-Wait.”
It would be a lie to say I didn’t expect the situation to escalate like this.
But I hadn’t anticipated Cha Rui losing control to this extent.
