“…It’s me, I’m me.”
“What?”
“You said so before… that it didn’t matter which one it was.”
‘Whether it’s the person you were before or not, it’s all you, isn’t it?’
‘I don’t care if your personality changed or not. I’m just interested in you.’
I laughed awkwardly and looked away.
I couldn’t exactly tell them I was a possessor now, and even if I did, I doubted they would believe me.
“Right, you are you. I guess I was just sensitive today because you seemed a bit strange.”
“…….”
“I should have talked to you directly instead of listening to wrong information. As you know, we haven’t talked much lately. I bought this gift because I thought you liked taking pictures.”
“…Dowon.”
“I was a bit annoyed because it felt like nothing I did pleased you. Kang Taeyun and Yoo Joohwan are getting closer to you, but I felt like I was the only one stuck in the same place.”
Since Moon Dowon was always the silent, sturdy type by my side, I never imagined he felt this way.
Seeing the hint of anxiety in his face, it seemed he had been worrying about this for a while.
Even now, seeing me with Kang Taeyun probably made him think I had changed.
From his perspective, the friendliness I showed Yoo Joohwan might have been frustrating.
‘Seriously… he’s so different from his image.’
I felt pathetic for ever being scared of someone so simple and keeping my distance.
Feeling guilty for judging him through the lens of the original novel, I lightly touched the tips of his fingers.
“Weren’t we getting closer? That’s what I thought.”
“…….”
“I don’t know much about you either. Even though I followed you around, I didn’t know what you liked or what you did when we weren’t together. But I think I know a little now.”
“What.”
“That you’re not as scary as I thought. And that you’re actually a very warm-hearted person?”
I wanted to say he was quite cute too, but I kept that to myself.
I didn’t want to get too attached to him before I eventually left.
I wished this world was a wholesome one and not a Mature-rated story.
Swallowing my regret, I tried to let go of his hand.
“I was scary to you? That’s a shock. I tried my best to look comfortable.”
Moon Dowon immediately wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in.
I let out a small gasp at the dull ache, and he loosened his grip slightly.
“I’ve been having wet dreams ever since we kissed. Dreams I didn’t even have during puberty.”
I knew that Omegas were always flocking to Moon Dowon, who grew up wanting for nothing.
But to think his first dream was about a Beta like me.
He seemed baffled by the fact himself.
“Then… isn’t that a good thing? It means you’re healthy.”
I avoided his gaze, thinking that regardless of who the partner was, experiencing that was just part of being healthy.
I wanted to move away, but the arm around my waist felt incredibly firm.
“Healthy. Yes, I am. So, I’m going to start being a bit greedy now.”
“…….”
“Before, just watching you was enough. But now, I want to be involved. Holding hands, holding your waist. Looking at you like this. Even hearing you breathe. I want to hide you and keep you all to myself, away from everyone else.”
Moon Dowon spoke with a burning voice, his eyes full of longing.
His voice dropped to a beast-like low that felt like it could burn me just by listening.
“Isn’t it strange? I wasn’t usually like this. You’re the reason I changed. The reason I couldn’t come up earlier was because I was jealous. It took me so long to reach you, but for Kang Taeyun and Yoo Joohwan, it was so easy.”
“…….”
“So, I’m not going to wait anymore.”
“…Dowon.”
“But even now, rather than wanting to have sex, I just want to hold you while I sleep. Even without penetration, I want to smell your skin, cover you in my pheromones, and just hold you in my arms.”
Unlike a typical Alpha, Moon Dowon stroked my waist with his fingertips as he spoke.
I flinched at the playful touch.
“Let’s just live together. If you don’t want to, we can have sex later. Just sleep in bed with me.”
He gave a heavy smile, saying that would be enough for now.
I stared at his slow-blinking eyes and made a joke with a hint of laughter.
“Is it really possible for a couple to just sleep in bed? If you’re sleeping together, you’ll want to hold hands, kiss, and well, make love.”
“Love?”
I had only used that word to phrase “sex” more prettily, but Moon Dowon muttered it as if he had just realized something.
He looked satisfied with the word and suddenly leaned down to give me a long kiss on the forehead.
“…What are you doing?”
“That was it. The reason I couldn’t define the word ‘like’ for you.”
“…….”
“I love you. As a lover.”
“…What?”
My mouth hung open as if I had heard something absurd.
We had only just started exchanging feelings of “liking” each other, and now he was talking about love?
I frowned slightly, wondering how it could be so easy for him.
“No, that’s not what I meant. Love isn’t something that simple from the start.”
“Then what is love to you?”
“That’s…”
Since I had never done it myself, I couldn’t say much.
The only thing I could think of as love was waiting at home for my father with a meal ready, filling the hole left by my late mother.
That was the love I knew within a family, but I thought romance wouldn’t be much different.
“You don’t know either.”
“…Still, what you’re talking about probably isn’t love.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because it’s too easy.”
More than anything, I didn’t truly feel that he loved me.
I didn’t like how he easily defined it as love when he wasn’t even sure about “liking” me just moments ago.
If he had at least agonized over it, it might be different, but his casual attitude made me bite my lip.
“So you’re saying I look easy? That’s ridiculous.”
Moon Dowon let go of my waist and exhaled as if he was dumbfounded.
He seemed offended, but since he couldn’t deny my words, he couldn’t correct them either.
As I glanced at him, I heard Yoo Joohwan’s voice from behind.
“Love? That’s cute.”
“…….”
“We aren’t children. What do words like ‘like’ or ‘love’ even mean? Do we have to say them out loud?”
It sounded like he was calling us childish.
His bored expression looked as if he found both me and Moon Dowon pathetic.
“Is there a need for both of you to be so serious over a formal phrase meant to make someone feel good? Can’t you tell how much we cherish you even without those words?”
Yoo Joohwan smiled slightly as he brushed the pendant hanging from his neck.
He wore a haughty expression, as if to say that carrying such a token was proof enough of his affection.
“Are you going to break up with us now because we don’t ‘love’ you? Moon Dowon is a naive guy, so the word might come easily to him, but I’m different.”
“…….”
“Liking and loving are different. They have to come directly from the heart. I can accept the feeling of liking, but love is different. It’s about whether I cherish you enough to put my life on the line.”
Yoo Joohwan cut the emotions off sharply, saying he hadn’t reached that level yet.
It felt strange to hear him draw a line like that when he had just said he liked me.
I felt disappointed and bitter.
“But I am feeling it lately. My head spins whenever you’re with Kim Seunghyun. If we spend more time together in the future, that ‘love’ you mentioned might become possible.”
“…….”
“I like you, Seo Siho. I don’t love you.”
Yoo Joohwan spoke coldly, saying they weren’t the same concept.
I pushed back my disappointment and forced a smile.
“Yeah, I know. I hope you keep feeling that way.”
That way, even if I ran away, he wouldn’t chase me to the ends of the earth.
I hoped he wouldn’t develop feelings beyond that.
Pushing aside my hurt feelings, I put the camera back into the box.
Even as I quietly closed the box, Moon Dowon and Yoo Joohwan said nothing.
Instead, they watched me intently, as if trying to read my mood.
“Why? Do you have something to say?”
“I suddenly feel bad, but I don’t know why.”
“…….”
“I can’t have this. Let’s just say I love you too.”
Saying he loved me just for the sake of it?
I let out a dry, disbelieving laugh as I watched Yoo Joohwan speak as if he were doing me a great favor.
