Taewhan wearing an apron.
It made me smile anew.
I had thought Taewhan, being from a wealthy family, would only ever eat meals prepared by others, so when I first saw him cook, I even had to doubt my eyes, wondering what was going on.
But now, that sight had become quite familiar.
“…Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Nothing. Let’s eat.”
Instead of just looking at Taewhan’s unfamiliar appearance awkwardly, I should have given him a tight hug at least once.
I regretted it, but it wasn’t the time to do so, having just been dumped so thoroughly.
It was too late, so I had to give up.
Our last meal as cohabitants was the same porridge we had on the day we first kissed.
It didn’t seem much different from the recipe I used, except for the addition of minced beef, but strangely, it tasted much better.
To the point where my pride was a little hurt.
With skillful hands, he had even made side dishes in that short time, and the quality didn’t suggest they were made in a rush.
“Chew slowly and thoroughly before swallowing.”
Here we go again. What was there to chew thoroughly in porridge?
He didn’t just nag; he also put various things on my spoon for me.
The portion of porridge he served was already huge, and with him constantly adding side dishes, it felt like the bowl never emptied, no matter how much I ate.
It took more than twice the usual mealtime to finally empty the bowl and set down my spoon, and Taewhan looked at me urgently.
He had the face of a sad puppy.
“Eat a little more.”
“No, I’m full…”
“Just a little.”
“…Okay.”
Because this was our last meal together as cohabitants.
Because he worked hard to make it for me, I would indulge him just a little more.
When I offered my bowl, Taewhan’s expression brightened considerably, and he filled it up completely.
For a moment, I felt faint, wondering when I would ever finish this, but since Taewhan was looking at me so desperately, I resolved to slowly eat as much as I could.
Because of that, the mealtime felt like it took two, no, three times longer than usual.
Fortunately, he must have realized I was struggling to eat, as he didn’t add any more side dishes.
I was glad that my eating capacity had increased recently, at least.
Whew, I let out a long breath and put down my spoon.
“I can’t eat any more.”
“Okay. Don’t force yourself.”
“Thank you for the delicious meal.”
I offered my thanks out of habit, then deliberately took my hands away from the table, exaggerating the gesture as I prepared to clean up.
Then I let out a soft laugh.
“I’m a guest now. The clean-up is all your job.”
“…”
“Ah, no. Just kidding. I’ll do it before I leave.”
I had tried to make a joke because the atmosphere felt too heavy, but Taewhan’s expression only darkened further.
It seemed the reality of my departure had truly hit him.
I quickly started cleaning up the table to recover the situation, but his brown eyes clung to me with persistent intensity.
“Jaehee.”
“Yes?”
“Why don’t you just…”
“No.”
I knew what he was going to say without hearing the rest of it because I was having the same thought.
I immediately cut him off.
To be honest, after eating together, I also wanted to stay here.
I was newly aware of what a comfortable, warm, and happy space this was.
But I couldn’t.
“I don’t think that would be right.”
This was a message both to Taewhan and to myself.
I told myself not to weaken.
There were now more reasons to leave than when I first realized my feelings and decided to go, and it truly wouldn’t be right to ignore all of that just to be swayed by a momentary emotion.
“Jaehee.”
After giving him a faint smile, I collected my bag and headed toward the front door, and Taewhan immediately followed.
I heard the sound of him pulling out his car key.
“I’ll take you home.”
“No. I can go by myself. I also want to get some fresh air for a change. I’ve been confined inside the house for days. I need to walk. I can always take a taxi if needed.”
“Just take my car. You can take a walk once you get home.”
“It’s nicer to walk around this neighborhood.”
I actually didn’t know much about the area.
Given that the kidnapping incident happened right after I came here, the same dangers were present, and I couldn’t rule out the possibility of accidentally involving other people, so I had avoided going around the neighborhood as much as possible.
When traveling, I usually took Taewhan’s or Madam Yeo’s car, and the inside of the house and the yard were large enough that I never felt particularly stifled, so I really knew almost nothing about the surroundings.
But precisely because of that, I wanted to walk today.
I didn’t know when I would be able to see it again if not now.
…And there were a few other reasons, too.
I smiled broadly and gave Taewhan a firm pat on the shoulder.
“Don’t worry. I’ll contact you again soon. I’m not a child.”
Was I really that untrustworthy?
Taewhan, who had been looking down at me intently with furrowed brows for a long time, swallowed a sigh.
“…I suppose. That’s true.”
“See. And don’t be too sad that I’m leaving. I’m not saying I’m never coming back here, and I still have to come back for my luggage.”
“…”
This time, he sealed his lips tight.
I shouldn’t need to persuade him anymore.
I put on my shoes and stood up straight.
“I’m going.”
Only after I hinted for him to say goodbye did Taewhan open his mouth.
In a suppressed voice.
“…Alright. Be careful.”
“You too.”
I waved lightly and turned around.
As I stepped out the front door, I heard the click of the door closing and the automatic lock engaging shortly after.
Taewhan, who had been standing by the door, didn’t follow me out or call out to me even as the door closed, not even making a rustling sound.
A bitter smile hung on my lips.
I lowered my gaze and looked only at my feet.
‘Why is the yard so big?’
Each step I took was incredibly difficult.
Even though no one was holding onto me, it felt like an invisible hand was clinging to my ankle.
“Phew.”
Only after closing the main gate could I finally shake off my lingering feelings with a sigh.
I raised my head. Without looking back, I headed toward the main road.
My heart felt whatever it felt, but my steps were light and cheerful.
…Just like that, I lost my home.
Where should I go?
I had lost my home, my room, my space.
The ‘only space of my own’ that might have existed in this world.
Since I had left Taewhan’s house, it made sense to go to my family home, as he suggested, but I wasn’t really inclined to do that right now.
It was right after having sex with the friend I had grown up with since I was very young.
Moreover, the traces of that hot night still lingered on my body.
Not just my body, but my mind was also still completely unorganized, not even a single crumb of it sorted out… I simply couldn’t face my family.
What could I possibly tell them?
I couldn’t honestly say that I loved Taewhan so much that I even had sex with him, and now I couldn’t live in the same house anymore.
But I also didn’t have the confidence to lie casually.
Besides, there were so many traces of Taewhan at my family home.
He had filled our house with too much furniture… and even though I had only been there briefly, I would inevitably find memories of Taewhan there too.
‘The Guild… that would also be difficult…’
Cha Taeyang is an intuitive person, so he would immediately notice that something had happened to me.
He knows Taewhan, and he even helped me with my dates with Gray Coat, so he would naturally ask what happened…
I didn’t think I could react naturally to that.
Eventually, they would find out, and I thought he would be a good listener, but at least for today, I just didn’t want to talk about Taewhan at all.
It was also getting too late.
‘I left without a plan. I should have checked into Hunter residential welfare sooner…’
Wandering aimlessly, I decided to just walk into the first accommodation I saw.
Once inside, I saw it wasn’t a hotel, but a motel.
My body froze at the structure, which seemed to completely hide the entire space so no one could see inside, the dim lighting, and the unfamiliar atmosphere.
I nervously approached the owner.
“How many people?”
“Ah, I, al, alone.”
“Here’s the key. Check-out is 11 a.m.”
“Th-Thank you.”
I hadn’t showered and had just thrown on the first clothes I saw, so my appearance was a mess, and my face clearly suggested I had a story, but the motel owner showed no particular interest, simply settling the payment and handing me the key with an impassive face.
Thanks to that, I felt a little relieved.
I had bought myself time to sort out my feelings alone, without having to explain or apologize to anyone, at least for the night.
My remaining concern was whether it would be a decent place to stay, as I had never been to a place like this before, but thankfully, the room was clean.
It didn’t smell, and the bedding was soft enough.
Only then did all the tension completely drain from my body.
I slid down, collapsing onto the floor and leaning against the bed.
I stared blankly at the TV playing commercials before finding the remote and turning it off.
The moment I stood up, I became acutely aware that my lower half was wet.
It was probably because Taewhan’s… had flowed out.
