* * *
When Killian finally pulled away, Nael panted heavily, his dazed eyes fluttering shut as he smiled.
“You like it that much?”
Killian thrust into him relentlessly, driving his cock to the hilt.
Nael could barely think, reduced to a mess of helpless moans as he took it.
“Hahh…”
Killian’s lips brushed Nael’s damp hair.
The way he looked at him stirred a strange, possessive hunger.
“Nael.”
“Ngh… Master. Master.”
His mind too far gone, Nael’s mouth moved on its own.
“Master.”
“……”
“You can hurt me… or torment me, it’s fine—hick—just… as long as you don’t abandon me. If you promise me that… I won’t ask for anything else.”
“As if I’d ever abandon you.”
Tears spilled again from Nael’s red, swollen eyes.
Even as Killian wiped them away, they wouldn’t stop. Nael pressed a kiss to Killian’s palm—mwah—a fleeting touch laden with devotion.
Preparations for their journey south were in full swing.
Finally, the snow had stopped, and the roads were clear.
Nael, torn between taking a carriage or a ship, chose the familiar option of sailing.
Carriages meant travel by land, but if proper lodging wasn’t available along the way, they’d have to camp—and he’d heard it required an entire convoy.
The pros and cons were clear, so Nael decided sailing was better.
Killian’s body wouldn’t endure being cramped in a carriage for long.
The only time Nael had seen Killian in a carriage was when they left the baron’s estate—and even then, it had felt stifling, packed tight without an inch to spare.
Ah…
For some reason, his cheek stung at the memory.
Nael raised a hand to cover it. He’d thrown a tantrum about going home and ended up getting slapped—hard—more than once.
“Nael?”
“……”
“What’s wrong?”
John tilted his head, but Nael brushed it off.
Killian only ever took the whip when Nael had done something wrong, and lately, he hadn’t given him any reason to. So he’d forgotten.
The fact that, one day, he could hurt him again.
Yet the more he dwelled on it, the more he smiled.
Because that sense of belonging—Killian’s strange possessiveness, his obsession—was directed solely at him.
“John, you’re really not coming with me?”
“Yeah. My father always asked when I’d become independent. He’s probably sleeping soundly now with both legs stretched out. Besides, I’m not going to just any baron’s estate—I’m working at a grand duke’s manor. It’s a better place than my father ever dreamed. If I left this opportunity, he’d be furious instead.”
“But… the Master said he doesn’t know when he’ll return to the North.”
“Then you just have to train hard until you come back. And, women can’t ride on ships.”
“Ah… right. Maybe I should’ve gone by carriage.”
“Don’t be silly. That road’s long and rough—no woman could endure it. It’s better to go comfortably by ship. I’ll wait, however long it takes.”
It seemed hard for him to leave his fiancée behind.
Then again, I couldn’t sleep when Killian was gone for even a day or two.
So I couldn’t blame him.
And seeing his burn scars probably tore at his uncle’s heart too.
When he said it might be better not to look at them at all, I understood.
It didn’t feel good.
My chest felt heavy and rough, and the guilt only made it worse.
“I’m sorry.”
“What for? It’s not like you did anything wrong.”
“Still…”
“Enough. Edward’s probably come to his senses by now. Would’ve been great if His Grace the Grand Duke just kicked him in the ass.”
He ended with a hearty laugh.
When I gave a clumsy chuckle, eyes wide, John added:
“Who cares? People badmouth the emperor when he’s not around. What’s Edward going to do if I say his name? Run back to the North after me? And don’t I at least have the right to curse a little?”
My stiff lips loosened. John never used formal language with me.
He must have had a lot bottled up—he called Edward by name and ranted for quite a while.
About the time he had to drag a drunken Edward back from a tavern only to get scolded himself.
About how every time he tried to work, Edward would pull him away to wander around like some local thug, leaving John to finish the work late into the night.
About the lectures from the steward that came with it all. Like a dam breaking, he poured everything out.
“At least now I don’t have to apologize and pay for all the broken furniture. Probably every bar stool in the South’s been replaced by Edward. I’m sick of it.”
The two of us laughed and talked for a long time.
For a while, the days passed like that.
The servants moved busily, and I didn’t have much to do.
Even when Philip handed me lists, they just looked like long strings of meaningless words.
My mind was already drifting home, so even the words I did know wouldn’t register.
“Please take care of it. Thank you.”
Repeating this, Philip eventually left my chamber saying he’d handle the preparations himself.
When he returned with an astonishing array of jewelry, my jaw dropped.
I thought my chin might literally hit the floor.
There were rows of ornate accessories, more luxurious than anything the baroness ever wore.
When he said they were all for Lily, I almost fainted again.
“This… this is too much. I can’t possibly accept these.”
“Nael, take them.”
“But, Master. I couldn’t repay this even if I worked my whole life.”
“It’s not a debt. It’s a gift for your sister.”
“Ah…”
“Since I’ll be taking you away from her, I wanted to ease that hollow feeling with something—if only gemstones. Nael?”
My eyes stung, and I turned away.
If I’d stayed at the baron’s manor my whole life, my sister would’ve had no dowry.
We barely scraped by. I never even thought of buying her a simple hairpin.
She always tied her hair with ragged cloth, and I never once asked if she was okay.
Even when the maids proudly showed off pretty ribbons they bought from peddlers with their wages, I hadn’t given it a second glance.
My ignorance filled me with bitter regret.
It was Killian who made me realize all this.
I wanted to be grateful, but tears kept rising instead.
Through my blurry vision, Killian appeared.
“Nael, tell me—was it not enough?”
“No, Master. It’s too much. I’m truly thankful…”
How could I put my feelings into words?
Instead of speaking, I wrapped my arms around him.
“You’ll have even more, Nael.”
“This is already more than enough.”
“No—it’s only the beginning. I’ll make sure of it.”
You only need to live like a flower in a greenhouse, breathing softly.
And whatever you desire—I’ll bring it to your feet.
Killian pressed a kiss to my forehead.
Philip and the other servants quietly left the room, as if they’d never been there.
Even so, my heavy heart wouldn’t lift.
Even in Killian’s presence, my gaze drifted into the distance, and my unfocused eyes welled with tears.
Killian gently wiped them away.
When he clicked his tongue softly, my shoulders flinched.
* * *
