Was it inevitable that Raizen and I kept getting tied together like this?
Or was it just my lingering feelings giving me excuses?
“Raizen said he’d stay around me anyway…”
When I glanced at him, he was still quietly watching me.
His face, usually emotionless—wasn’t quite the same this time.
Looking closer, the corners of his mouth were ever so slightly upturned.
It was a subtle smile—one I’d never seen before.
Strictly speaking, Raizen smiled often.
But his smiles were rarely because he couldn’t contain his emotions—they were usually calculated.
Not that they were insincere, necessarily…
He’d grin genuinely when he was pleased, too.
The problem was, those satisfied smiles of his often gave off a chilling vibe.
But the smile he wore now… I’d never seen it before.
There was no other way to describe it.
“Is this because we went through the rut together?”
Ever since we reunited, Raizen had shown expressions I’d never seen before.
The common thread was that he looked—normal.
Like an ordinary person.
“Or… maybe it’s because the curse’s power has weakened.”
Out of habit, I searched for a reason—and then let out a hollow laugh.
I could’ve just accepted that maybe Raizen had changed a little, but instead, I was trying to rationalize it.
How was I ever supposed to cut him off at this rate?
I should head home.
Seol must be worried, and the kids too…
“Wait.”
How many days had passed?
Tommy had said he’d come back in two days, and I was sure that time had long passed.
“I promised I’d protect him…”
How could I mess everything up like this?
As I wallowed in guilt, Raizen’s calm voice pierced through my thoughts—like he’d read my mind.
“The two kids are safe. Tommy hasn’t come back.”
Relief washed over me—quickly followed by a new wave of worry.
“He didn’t come back?”
Given Tommy’s situation, I thought he’d return eventually to try again.
That made sense.
Tommy feared being hated by Priest Aysol and had been convinced, thanks to that twisted doctrine, that he had to work hard to be saved.
“But if he didn’t come back…”
Then something must’ve happened.
As soon as that thought hit me, I looked to Raizen.
His strange expression was gone—replaced with his usual blank face.
But something was different. His eyes.
“It’s like he’s confirming my suspicion, but he also looks kind of displeased.”
Then, Raizen opened his mouth.
“Even if I told you to stay put, you wouldn’t listen, would you?”
Would I seem insecure if I got emotional over that?
No, but it’s not like I caused trouble while staying in the Pantheon either.
Really. I’d tried so hard to stay low, careful, aware of everyone around me.
“Hey… Anyone hearing this would think I just cause problems everywhere.”
I brushed my bangs aside with a pout.
“Besides, I’ve gotten a lot stronger too, you know.”
Physically and in handling divine power.
Not that he’d believe it unless I showed him.
Raizen rubbed a hand over his mouth, looking slightly flustered.
“…That’s not what I meant.”
For a second, I thought I misheard him.
“That’s not what he meant?”
I repeated it in my head, but it still didn’t make sense.
I understood the words themselves, but the fact that Raizen was the one saying them gave me cognitive dissonance.
“Okay, maybe I overreacted a bit.”
I knew why he kept saying things like that.
From his point of view, I was hopelessly weak outside of my divine power.
He was probably worried I’d get hurt sticking my nose into things.
Whether that was out of concern, possessiveness, or to protect himself or his family—I didn’t know.
“…”
But if he reacts like that, how am I supposed to not misunderstand?
Why does he keep doing things he never used to?
And the worst part is, even after being hurt by him before, I keep letting myself think what I want to think.
“Come on, get it together.”
I told myself that, but what actually came out of my mouth was the exact opposite.
“So what, are you saying you were worried about me?“
“Shit.”
I wanted to crawl into a hole.
Overwhelmed with shame, I couldn’t even lift my head.
“No, no. That was a mistake. Forget I said that.“
“…”
“I’m leaving. Sorry for saying weird stuff.“
I blurted out my apology and turned to leave the room.
But the moment I stepped into the hallway, my body suddenly floated.
When my feet touched the ground again—I was back in front of my house.
The front door Raizen had broken was perfectly restored, as if nothing had ever happened.
“…Ha.“
I honestly couldn’t tell if this was a dream or reality anymore.
∗ ∗ ∗
Seol was, thankfully, unharmed. He didn’t say much, but I could tell he was carefully checking me over.
I had to say “I’m fine” several times before he finally looked away.
There was so much I had to do, but as soon as I got home, the strength drained from my body.
Even though I’d recovered physically with divine power, the fatigue was too much. I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed.
I fell asleep—and woke to a familiar noise.
Drrrr— Drrrr—
A dull, monotonous ringing.
Not quite a bell. It was coming from the communication orb on my desk.
The glowing crystal showed the number “1.”
It was Grandpa.
As I sat up, Seol stirred from where he’d been sleeping close beside me.
I patted his back gently a couple times before heading to the orb.
“Grandpa?“
—Sean…!
His voice came through the orb, raised with emotion.
It was the first time I’d heard that tone from him—and the first time he called me by name instead of a nickname.
—Are you okay? Are you really okay?!
All the sleep left me in an instant at the worry in his voice.
“There’s no way Grandpa wouldn’t know…”
But I didn’t have time to think about that.
“I’m sorry. You must’ve been really worried. I’m fine. I made it home safely.“
—No, don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for.
The grandfather, who had spoken urgently, let out a small sigh.
—“…I’m sorry. I should’ve told you much earlier.”
“…That’s…”
The words “It’s okay” wouldn’t come out.
When I first moved to Crete Island, Grandpa had suggested stationing some guards around the house.
I completely understood his concern, but I politely declined.
I thought it was best to live quietly and as normally as possible.
“Even though I was running away, I acted like that was the obvious way to go.”
Grandpa brought it up a few more times, but eventually he respected my decision.
Or so I believed.
I never imagined that Grandpa and the Duke and Duchess of Pantheon had secretly planted people to protect me in the shadows.
“I guess I really was too naive.”
I had nearly died in a carriage accident long ago, and the one behind it is still very much alive.
Of course they wouldn’t just leave me alone in some remote place.
But… at the same time, I couldn’t help feeling a little hurt.
Especially now that they had found out I’d spent the Heat Cycle with Raizen.
“I understand why you did it. I really do. But… I can’t help thinking it would’ve been nice if you had told me a little earlier.”
After a moment of hesitation, I admitted how I truly felt.
Over the past year, during our communications via the transmitter, Grandpa had always asked about me with an air of total ignorance.
I still couldn’t quite shake the feeling of having been made a fool.
I’d run away in absolute misery—so what was the point of it all? My heart was tangled in knots.
—That… I’m truly sorry. I kept thinking I should tell you, but I was afraid you’d be disappointed in me, so I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I was only thinking of my own position. And now it’s come to this… I’m sorry. We treated you like a child for far too long.
“…”
—We really didn’t know that Raizen knew where you were living. Let alone that he was the master of the Ruin Guild… That boy, what was he even thinking, enduring his ruts all alone like that?
His last words were more to himself.
Even Grandpa seemed to have only just learned about it.
The Pantheon couple probably kept it hidden.
If they’d said anything, it would’ve made it seem like Raizen had suffered because I ran away.
