* * *
The coming-of-age ceremony of Raizen Pantheon concluded splendidly.
There had been much talk about today’s event behind closed doors.
“The gates of the ducal estate are opening for the first time in nearly twenty years?”
“Even for the Pantheon Duchy, isn’t this unusual? I wonder if they have any influence from the western trends?”
“The Duchess rarely appears in central society. Does she even know what’s in fashion these days? Hohoho.”
The Pantheon Duchy had always kept its doors shut until its heir came of age.
However, this particular heir had remained so unseen that rumors spread, speculating whether there was an issue.
Yet, when Raizen Pantheon finally made his appearance, he instantly became the center of the empire’s social scene.
Naturally, his coming-of-age ceremony drew envious and expectant gazes alike.
People came both hoping to form ties with the Pantheon Duchy and to see if he was truly as remarkable as rumored.
“Hmm, as expected of a duke’s house.”
“Luavis Duchy must be feeling the pressure.”
“Now that the Pantheon Duchy has finally opened its doors, both the political and social spheres are about to get noisy.”
“Do you think the Imperial family will form a connection with them?”
Ultimately, Raizen Pantheon’s coming-of-age ceremony was a great success, and the attendees left with a clear conclusion—staying on good terms with the Pantheon Duchy would be advantageous.
Once the guests had departed, the grand hall was emptied and shrouded in darkness.
Raizen stood atop the stairs, gazing down at the dimly lit hall.
Now officially an adult, his eyes were as calm as the deep night.
At one point, he had longed for this moment more than anything.
To become the perfect heir, to stand before people with pride, to ensure that no one could ever look at him with disgust, whispering curses behind his back.
He had once believed he would do anything to achieve that.
“……”
Yet now that the day had come, he felt… nothing.
Or rather, if he did feel anything, it was irritation.
Because he had to present Sean before all those people.
Because vermin had started gathering around him.
Thinking of that moment again, his brow furrowed in displeasure.
“Tch. He looks downright fuckable.”
“I mean, I’m not bad myself, right? He’s just a recessive omega, a commoner adopted into nobility.”
“With a face like that, I bet he’d be easy to seduce.”
The first vermin to make a move—Young Lord Kaigan—had only done one thing right.
Thanks to the example Raizen made of him, the other insects had been driven away before they could even try.
If it were up to him, he would have torn out the tongues of those who spoke so filthily about Sean.
But he had barely managed to restrain himself.
If only Sean knew just how much he had held back today.
Erasing them from existence wouldn’t even be difficult.
He wouldn’t need the family’s power—he could handle it alone, silently and cleanly.
He had never taken a life before, but surprisingly, the idea of it didn’t disturb him at all.
If murder was the only solution, then wasn’t it simply the right choice?
Yet, despite thinking that way, he had chosen not to act.
The reason was simple.
Because he was afraid of Sean fearing him.
‘It’s strange.’
No matter how flawlessly he covered his tracks, he had the feeling that Sean would eventually figure it out.
And that fragile-hearted boy would recoil in terror once he realized.
He could already picture the horrified look Sean would wear.
Raizen tore his gaze away from the empty hall and stared into the void.
‘Why?’
Why was he so afraid of Sean fearing him?
Why did the thought of Sean despising him terrify him?
Why did the mere idea of Sean abandoning him and turning away feel so unbearable?
No matter how many times he asked himself, he never found an answer.
“Raizen.”
A voice from behind pulled him from his thoughts.
He turned his head.
“Mother.”
The Duchess approached him with a gentle smile.
“What were you thinking about, my son?”
“Just…”
He could have brushed it off with a vague answer.
But lying didn’t come easily.
His mother was gentle and affectionate, but she had unnervingly sharp eyes that saw right through her son’s deceptions.
During the four years Sean had been asleep, Raizen had learned many things about his parents.
For one, his mother was far scarier than his father.
“…I just thought it didn’t feel as fulfilling as I expected.”
So, he chose honesty.
“Oh dear, hearing that makes me sad. Do you know how much effort I put into today’s party?”
Raizen let out a small chuckle at his mother’s playful complaint.
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
“Yes, I do.”
The Duchess lowered her voice as she came to stand beside her son.
She gazed down at the empty hall for a moment before speaking.
“Still, I’m very happy that today, my son was able to stand tall in this place.”
Without realizing it, his gaze rested on the moisture gathering in her eyes.
The today his mother had dreamed of and the today he had envisioned were vastly different.
Raizen’s goals had always been solely for himself, but his mother’s included not just herself but also her son.
The boy who once neither understood nor had the luxury to consider others’ emotions had grown.
Even if, for now, that understanding remained more intellectual than emotional.
“I’m glad you’re happy, Mother.”
“And you, Raizen? How was it for you?”
Raizen parted his lips slightly, then shut them tight.
It was disgusting.
The people whose eyes gleamed with greed, reaching for him and his family.
And it wasn’t just those attending tonight’s party.
Ever since he entered the Royal Academy, there had always been people trying to get something out of him, no matter what it took.
He hated it.
It repulsed him.
‘They don’t even know who I really am.’
Drawn in by the surface-level sheen, they pounced like moths to a flame.
But he couldn’t say that out loud. It would only sadden his mother.
“I… I’m not sure yet,” Raizen finally answered after carefully choosing his words.
“I just feel… a little tired. Irritated, even.”
“Dealing with people is like that. Especially when they expect something from you.”
A thought crossed Raizen’s mind.
“Mother, don’t you find those people unbearable?”
They flattered her to her face, yet behind her back, they dismissed her as nothing more than a duchess from some remote, barren western land.
His father, the duke, never expected anything from such people and didn’t bother holding their nonsense in his heart. But his mother was different.
“I don’t think I’ll ever truly like them,” she admitted.
“But deciding that all people are the same, resenting them, and pushing them away isn’t right either. Among them, there will always be someone who turns out to be a precious connection.”
“……”
“Of course… the most precious ones are no longer in this world.”
She must have been referring to the late Marquis and Marchioness of Kreveta.
Even though more than five years had passed since their deaths, his parents still mourned them.
Raizen found it strange—was friendship really something that could run that deep?
And sometimes, he wondered.
Did he want that kind of bond with Sean? Or…
“Raizen, have you found a connection like that?”
At his mother’s question, Sean’s face immediately surfaced in his mind.
Without realizing it, he glanced at her, only to find her looking at him with concern.
‘You already know what I’m going to say, don’t you?’
At some point, his mother had realized he saw Sean as someone special.
That was why she had always reminded him about controlling his pheromones.
[Raizen, it’s fine if you visit home secretly without letting us know. But you mustn’t leave Sean drenched in your pheromones while he sleeps. If you aren’t certain of your feelings, you should refrain—for Sean’s sake and for his reputation within the duchy. If you’re worried about how he might react upon waking, refer to the book I sent you.]
When he received that letter, Raizen had, for the first time, felt embarrassed.
The memory was still vivid.
As was the ‘homework’ his mother had given him when he returned to the duchy afterward.
[Raizen, why don’t you take some time to really think about your feelings for Sean?]
Yet, he still hadn’t found an answer.
But one thing was clear.
“…Do I really need to seek new connections? I think just one person is enough for me.”
The one person who knew his deepest secret.
The only one who had seen the ugliest sides of him.
“But that makes a person fragile, Raizen. When your world revolves around just one person, the fear of losing them can end up destroying the relationship instead. Especially if those feelings were born from circumstances rather than something deeper.”
Of course. She already knew. S
he had even seen through his obsession.
“Raizen, you mustn’t let emotions you don’t fully understand turn into an obsession with Sean. That will only bring suffering—to both of you.”
Emotions I don’t fully understand.
Raizen repeated the words in his head.
No matter how much he thought about it, he just couldn’t figure it out.
His mother spoke as if his feelings and his obsession were separate things, but to him, they were one and the same.
‘I just know I can’t be without him. I don’t ever want to let him go.’
For Sean’s sake, he would do anything.
Calling it ‘love’ felt too weak.
Calling it ‘obsession’ might have been more fitting.
‘Even if it makes us miserable, isn’t it enough just to be together?’
But he didn’t say that out loud.
Because he knew—no matter what he thought—his mother would never approve.
* * *
