* * *

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, not having slept a wink.

My face was a mess—so much so that it was unbearable to look at.

Dark circles loomed under my eyes, and my expression was ghastly, making it obvious to anyone that something was wrong.

I tried to smile, forcing my lips to curl upward, but my expression remained stiff.

Sighing, I splashed cold water on my face.

It didn’t help clear my head.

“Hey, Heewon…”

“Heewon! Rest!”

“Heewon looks sick…”

“Meooow…”

As I prepared for work, the three who had stayed by my side all night chirped noisily around me.

“I’m fine. Go inside.”

“Heewon’s not fine…”

“Heewon looks like he’s going to die!”

“If you don’t go in now, I’m leaving you behind.”

At my final warning, the three darted into the shadows without a moment’s hesitation.

I considered checking my horoscope for the day but decided against it.

I already knew it would be terrible—my luck had been at rock bottom since yesterday.

Dragging my feet, I headed to work.

“Heewon, is something wrong?”

“You should’ve taken the day off if you’re sick…”

I must not have been hiding my expression well because questions started as soon as I arrived at the office.

I forced a smile and replied awkwardly.

“I’m fine. I’m not sick.”

“Then what’s up? Did you break up with your girlfriend or something?”

As usual, Supervisor Choi teased me with questions about a nonexistent girlfriend.

I should’ve denied it immediately, but the words got stuck in my throat.

Baek Gunho wasn’t my girlfriend—or anything close to it—but if I considered the situation and context, the question wasn’t entirely out of line.

My silence caused an awkward hush to fall over the room.

“It’s not like that…”

I denied it belatedly, but my voice came out low and hoarse, as though I was on the verge of tears.

“…”

I saw Assistant Lee nudge Supervisor Choi sharply with her elbow.

Startled, Supervisor Choi shut his mouth without another word.

“It’s really not like that,” I added.

“Oh, uh… yeah, got it.”

“If you’re tired, don’t push yourself. Take it easy, okay?”

“…Okay.”

No one seemed to believe me. Instead of explaining further, I just nodded and turned away.

I heard Supervisor Choi noisily pounding on his keyboard as he returned to his desk.

Ignoring it, I focused on my work, forcing myself to read through documents one letter at a time.

I wasn’t exactly productive, but staring at my tasks was still better than letting my mind wander like it had all night.

When lunchtime came, I stepped outside for fresh air.

After being cooped up indoors, the cool breeze felt refreshing.

I felt a little better, but others continued treating me with cautious concern.

“Finally, they closed that Gate. What a relief.”

“Seriously. They should’ve done it sooner. Ugh.”

The conversation around me revolved entirely around last night’s Gate closure, leaving me out.

On reflection, it seemed like I had a valid excuse to take a day off because of being caught up in that mess.

Normally, Baek Gunho would’ve handled small matters like this for me…

“…”

It was a pointless thought. I couldn’t rely on Baek Gunho forever.

“He-Heewon, try the rolled omelet. It’s good.”

“Want me to get you more soup? There’s a lot of meat in it.”

For some reason, everyone at the table fidgeted nervously, eager to do something for me.

Smiling faintly, I accepted their kindness.

The afternoon passed no better than the morning.

I made a series of absurd mistakes at work.

I’d braced myself for harsh criticism, but it was let slide without much fuss.

I wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved.

Finally, the day was over.

I declined Supervisor Choi’s offer to grab drinks and prepared to head home.

As soon as I left the office, my phone buzzed. It was a call from Baek Gunho.

“…”

There was no reason to answer.

Ignoring it, I got on the subway.

When more calls and messages followed in rapid succession, I switched my phone to silent mode.

The moment I got home, I shut myself in my room.

I wanted nothing more than to sleep without thinking about anything, but sleep wouldn’t come.

A regular person might be exhausted enough to pass out, but my S-class body was annoyingly resilient—this level of fatigue wasn’t enough to wear me down.

I was sick of it.

Sick of being an S-class, sick of being Seo Heewon.

Then I heard the front door open.

I froze, tension rising, but the familiar sound of my uncle’s footsteps quickly eased my nerves.

Snapping to attention, I bolted out of my room.

My uncle, coming home from work with his usual composed expression, looked startled to see me.

“Heewon.”

“Uncle…”

Hearing his voice, tears I thought had dried began to fall again.

I couldn’t say anything, just stood there as tears streamed down my face.

Alarmed, my uncle approached me.

“Did something happen?”
“Ugh, huuh…”

Memories of the countless times he’d died in the past surged back, and sobs burst out of me.

At the same time, relief washed over me—relief that he was alive.

I couldn’t tell whether I was happy or devastated; my emotions were a tangled mess.

Panicked, my uncle pulled me into a hug and patted my back comfortingly.

After seeing the past, I realized he was a far greater person than I’d ever known.

When he was gone, the Hunter Bureau fell into complete chaos.

The current, uncorrupted Bureau owed its existence to him and a few other hunters who’d stood at its core.

He was that incredible, yet every time, he’d died so easily.

Seo Heewon may have denied it, but my past self had mourned him endlessly, as though he’d taken all of my humanity with him when he died.

The fact that he was alive now was solely thanks to Baek Gunho.

In every other timeline, my uncle had met a meaningless end. His death was always the beginning of my misfortune.

Should I have thanked Baek Gunho for saving him?

No. I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

Baek Gunho wasn’t wrong. His judgment had been rational.

I understood that in my head, but my emotions were beyond control.

I resented Baek Gunho. I feared him.

Yet, at the same time, I still liked him.

And I hated myself for it.

I wanted to blame him—yell at him for killing, for hurting.

I wanted to unleash all of my anger.

But my past self was a sinner, unworthy of such accusations.

I couldn’t hold Baek Gunho accountable for my own failings.

I didn’t want to think about Baek Gunho anymore.

Clinging tightly to my uncle, I let his warmth steady me.

It was a warmth Seo Heewon had never received, one that now felt all the more precious.

“Uncle…”

“Why are you crying so sadly?”

I couldn’t explain why.

Couldn’t tell him about my past or anything I’d been through.

My uncle didn’t know how many times he’d saved Seo Heewon—only for that Seo Heewon to become the worst kind of monster.

The weight of Seo Heewon’s sins crushed me.

Even my uncle couldn’t forgive the horrors of my past.

Unable to do anything but sniffle, I let my uncle soothe me.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Just don’t cry.”

“S-sorry… I’m sorry…”

“There’s nothing for you to apologize for. And even if there was, it doesn’t matter. Don’t worry about it.”

But how could I not worry?

Still, I didn’t want to burden my uncle any more, so I swallowed my tears.

He looked at me with soft eyes as I hiccupped like a child.

“Have you eaten dinner?”

“No, not yet…”

“Then rest. I’ll make you something.”

The uncle’s words jolted me back to my senses.

I couldn’t just freeload on meals he prepared for me, especially now that I was all grown up.

“It’s fine, I’ll handle it.”

“No need. I felt like cooking for you since it’s been a while.”

After a brief moment of thought, I nodded.

He was likely taking care of me because I wasn’t doing well, and he liked it when I relied on him during tough times.

“What do you feel like eating?”

“Then… ramen—”

“Don’t just say ‘whatever.’”

“…I really want ramen.”

I had often thought about his ramen back at the lab.

I missed the ones he made for me.

“Alright, I’ll make it tasty for you.”

With a grin, he headed to the kitchen and began rummaging through the fridge, pulling out ingredients.

His ramen was always packed with anything remotely healthy, with only a little soup base added.

He had been making it like this since I was a kid.

He used to worry about how unhealthy it was but made sure it was something I’d enjoy.

Today’s ramen was filled to the brim with seafood.

The flavor was so rich it was hard to tell if it was ramen or seafood stew.

“Tastes good?”

“…Yeah, it’s delicious.”

For the first time today, I smiled naturally.

Seeing this, his previously worried expression softened.

“That’s good. Think about what else you’d like to eat. You’ve gotten too thin—you need to take care of yourself.”

I was a little thinner, but still within a normal range.

Even so, being an S-rank, I was robust enough.

His constant dramatic worrying always made me laugh.

“Did something happen with Gunho?”

His cautious question caught me off guard.

How did he know?

I quickly smiled and shook my head as if nothing was wrong.

“No, it’s not like that.”

“Gunho asked me to keep an eye on you… Normally, he’d take care of things himself.”

So that’s why he came home early.

Gunho must’ve tipped him off.

Should I tell him not to meddle, or thank him instead?

Either way, it wasn’t like I’d be contacting him.

My expression must’ve given something away because my uncle’s face grew serious.

“If Gunho ever bothers you, let me know. I’ll set him straight.”

“It’s okay… it’s really nothing like that.”

“Alright, just don’t push yourself too hard.”

I kept smiling to ease his worries.

Right, I needed to get it together.

There was no reason for me to dig myself into a hole over Baek Gunho.

The important thing was to avoid doing anything stupid.

I should just forget about Baek Gunho…

But how?

Maybe meeting someone else would help.

As I chatted with my uncle, my mind spun with thoughts.

* * *