“Jehee, you saw her almost every week since she was very young, since she was a little kid. You said she was like a child to you, and you told us to act like siblings! But when a dangerous situation actually happened, did you only feel like one person was your son and the other was a stranger? Weren’t you ashamed in front of her deceased father!”
“…”
“Director.”
As my voice grew louder, my secretary, who had stepped away to allow the father and son to talk, rushed over.
He must have been worried about causing a scene.
The discord between the Director of the Management Bureau and an S-Class Hunter, who were father and son, was good fodder for reporters to swarm over.
Especially because the cause of the conflict was not something that should be widely known.
But none of that mattered to me.
“Director. Yes, our Father is the great Director of the Hunter Bureau. A man so capable that he was once called a ‘legend,’ earning the respect of Hunters and the public, and rose to the Director position at the youngest age. So, you should know exactly how much weight your words carry.”
All the Hunters at the scene must have been busy desperately obeying my father’s words, so they wouldn’t have had the leisure to confirm Jehee’s location, which wasn’t far from me.
They must have simply wanted to return quickly and let the respected Director know that his son was safe.
The impatience to deliver good news as quickly as possible must have made the rescue team’s sight even dimmer inside the already dark Gate.
I absolutely could not forgive that.
My father, above all others, should not have done that.
He was an adult whom Jehee trusted, and he was the person in charge of that site.
He was the highest authority.
Such a person assigned different values to the lives of us two who were both victims.
He was clearly an aggressor towards Jehee, and I became the victim and, simultaneously, the aggressor’s son.
“Taehwan, I…”
“Even if you couldn’t be the uncle Jehee trusted and followed, you should have at least been the ‘Director of the Hunter Management Bureau.’ If you had…!”
Jehee could have been rescued with me.
She could have been rescued in time and been safe, just as I was.
If that had happened, I wouldn’t feel this much guilt toward Jehee.
I might have even been a little more greedy.
I could have dreamed of a completely different future with Jehee.
I tried to spit out that venomous thought but immediately shut my mouth.
No matter how much I resented my father, I was the one who dragged Jehee into the Gate in the first place.
I was also the one who monopolized her by using the plausible excuse of nursing, enjoying her long hospital life.
I was the one who took advantage of Jehee’s lack of social experience and absolute trust in me to tame and ultimately take her body.
The arrow of guilt, after all the circling, eventually lands right in myself.
It tore my chest apart.
I ran both hands down my face.
I clearly wasn’t drunk, but my body felt too heavy.
“Go.”
I didn’t have the energy to say anything more.
I passed my father and opened the front gate.
I quickly closed the door and turned my back, though he wasn’t going to follow me inside anyway.
“Yes. As you said, I came because I was worried. You two ignored all contact and didn’t come out of the house for days, then Jehee suddenly left with her bag, so I wondered what happened.”
“…”
“I’ve seen your face, so that’s enough. Don’t skip meals, and take care of yourself.”
Before I could even reach the front door, I heard the sound of my father, who had gotten into the car with his secretary, driving away.
Silence descended all around.
Only the occasional sound of insects could be heard.
I looked up at the sky for a moment before opening the front door.
As I stepped inside the house, I habitually strained my ears to catch Jehee’s breathing, but, of course, I heard nothing.
I opened Jehee’s door, but there was only an empty bed and cold air.
“…This sucks, seriously.”
I missed Jehee.
I wanted to listen to Jehee’s steady breathing while she slept, and I wanted to stroke her face, even just once.
I stroked the pillow that had lost its owner and simply sat down there for a long time.
Honestly, I thought I wouldn’t last a single day without Jehee.
When I had done a ‘practice run’ before, I couldn’t properly eat, drink, or sleep, and I was out of my mind, which genuinely worried Jehee.
And this time, the situation was even worse than before.
So, I had planned how I would explain it to Jehee if I got sick, or where I would get an IV drip to sustain myself… but I was holding up better than expected, and my planning went to waste.
There were several reasons, but the most helpful one was the group chatroom.
[DumbJehee: I’ll arrive soon.]
[CTY: Take your time it’s fine]
[DumbJehee: I am going slowly.]
[CTY: Ok let me know when you arrive]
[DumbJehee: Ah.. I don’t think there’s a convenience store nearby, but I’ll look for one.]
[Me: He’s just saying that. Ignore him.]
[CTY: No way what are you talking about;;;]
[CTY: I’m always serious]
The group chat consisted of me, Jehee, and Cha Taeyang.
I got the distinct impression that Jehee was subtly avoiding talking to me one-on-one after that incident, so I came up with this method to continue communicating while reducing her burden.
If she felt uncomfortable being or talking alone with me, I figured I could just hide within a group of people.
The problem, however, was that both of us had very limited social circles, so there were very few people whom Jehee could comfortably talk to and who were also somewhat friendly with me. Especially excluding business relationships.
The person selected was Cha Taeyang.
[CTY: You crazy bastard you’re having a lovers’ quarrel so why are you making me a third wheel]
[CTY: I’m leaving so don’t call me]
[CTY: Just open up and spill everything in your head! That’ll solve everything, you jerk]
[CTY: You get weirdly scared in front of Jehee, don’t you? I know you like her to death, so just do what you’re told]
There was strong resistance immediately after the room was created, as it wasn’t a pre-agreed invitation.
[Me: Didn’t your guild need sponsorship funds?]
[CTY: ARE YOU SERIOUS]
[CTY: YES WE DO!!!!!!!!]
[CTY: WE ABSOLUTELY COMPLETELY NEED IT!!!!!!!]
[CTY: How much are you offering? haha;;]
[Me: Three big ones.]
[CTY: I will serve you, Hyung-nim. Just say the word. Loyalty loyalty]
We reached an amicable agreement.
I also made a few conditions while I was at it, which can be summarized simply: don’t leave the group chat, minimize private messages and use the group chat as the main channel.
And, while we’re at it, pay attention by her side during missions so that Jehee’s trauma is not triggered.
These were the three points.
[CTY: Hey, Jehee is my youngest and my mentee before she’s your friend]
[CTY: I’d do that much anyway, so don’t worry.]
[CTY: But do you not have to go to the hospital? I don’t have experience with this kind of thing, so I don’t know;]
Cha Taeyang expressed concern, suggesting I should get counseling, but I doubted counseling would be meaningful when even Jehee couldn’t remember that moment.
I was reluctant to take Jehee, who was living well and had forgotten everything, and forcibly make her recall the moment of trauma.
Furthermore, simply telling her the truth might burden her mental state, so I definitely didn’t want to do that.
Especially since this was a pretty crucial time for Jehee, who was just about to start her official activities as a Hunter.
Above all, the conditions were very limited, so I thought it would be fine since the trauma wouldn’t be triggered if we paid a little attention.
Although many Dungeons were dark-themed, clearing a Dungeon usually involved group action, so it was common to secure visibility to distinguish friend from foe.
Even otherwise, items that provide light are abundant, so we just needed to bring a few of those.
I finished discussing with Cha Taeyang that we should just focus on helping Jehee build her career as a Hunter and gain experience, rather than doing anything rash.
Then, her fear of monsters and Gates would naturally decrease, so let’s prioritize that for now.
[DumbJehee: I’m home.]
[DumbJehee: Thank you for your hard work this time too.]
[DumbJehee: Go home safely.]
[CTY: Are you okay? Weird guys keep sticking around lately.]
[DumbJehee: I’m fine. They aren’t great people anyway. We solve it without fail every time.]
[CTY: Since you say you’re fine, it’s hard for me to say more but……]
[CTY: But Jehee when are you gonna start speaking informally]
[DumbJehee: T_T]
[DumbJehee: Later T_T]
[CTY: When is later!!!!!!]
[DumbJehee: Ah, I]
[DumbJehee: I’m going to take a shower. I’m all grimy T_T]
[CTY: Look… Look at her changing the subject… Seeing things like that, I know she’s your friend]
[Me: What about me?]
[CTY: Anyway, that’s that. I’m going to wash up too, haha]
It was my first time creating a group chat, and it was better than I expected.
Even if I didn’t join the conversation, just seeing Jehee chattering away was satisfying.
Sometimes I got annoyed because Jehee seemed too close to Cha Taeyang, but… since I heard him clearly state that he had no weird feelings for Jehee, it wasn’t unbearable.
I can’t be 100% sure that his mind hasn’t changed, but so far, there has been no sign of it at all.
Not from Cha Taeyang, and also not from Jehee.
And in that sense, keeping her under surveillance, as I am now, was the right thing to do.
If something were to suddenly happen between them while I was completely unaware, I don’t know what I might do.
