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He was a boy I kept encountering at every gathering hosted or attended by the royal family, but I could never see his face.
“Is it you again?”
Whenever I grew tired of helping out kids my age and slipped away to a corner of the garden or terrace, he would always appear.
His face was always hidden—by a bucket, a paper bag, some strange mask, or even his clothes—so I had never seen it.
But from the marks on his body, I could guess why he didn’t want to show his face.
“Could it be that his family hit him…?”
His limbs were painfully thin, and although he wore formal attire, it was old and tattered—something no child of a noble family would wear.
Moreover, the dark, bruised marks on his arms and legs left no doubt that he didn’t come from an ordinary household.
“Why would they drag him to these gatherings when he’s in that state?”
I was curious about what kind of parents would do such a thing, but as a child, I had no power.
All I could do was hide him away from bullies and share the snacks I’d brought for myself.
“Want to try this? It’s jelly made from candied tangerines. Oh, do you know what jelly is?”
Whenever I chattered and handed him food, he’d reluctantly reach under his bucket and start nibbling, like feeding a mouse in a trap.
“Do you really have to keep that on?”
I’d often tried to remove whatever was covering his face out of curiosity, but he always stubbornly refused.
Wasn’t it uncomfortable to walk around like that?
I couldn’t help but wonder, but he seemed to manage just fine, so I figured he had his own way of dealing with it.
Well, with so many people in the world, I suppose there are bound to be kids like him. I just hoped things weren’t too hard for him.
I held onto that faint hope, but sadly, there was never a day when the bruises on his body faded. Should I offer to let him stay at our place?
We already took in Berta as an example, so we could use the excuse of studying abroad and let him live with us.
We weren’t short on money, so one more wouldn’t be a burden, right?
While I was lost in those thoughts, a certain incident occurred.
I think I was about thirteen when it happened. I had been dragged to a children’s gathering by my parents and got stranded.
It wasn’t my fault.
I was sitting in the garden by the forest, sharing snacks with that bucket-headed boy, when a crow suddenly darted out of the bushes and snatched a button off his coat.
Of all days, he’d finally worn something nice. In the face of this unfortunate event, the boy began to panic and sniffle.
He never spoke, no matter how many times I asked, except for the first time we met.
But now, the sound of his pitiful sobbing echoed from inside the bucket.
I couldn’t just stand by and watch.
“Wait here. The crow probably has a nest in the forest. Let’s go find it.”
I led the boy into the woods.
It wasn’t a deep forest, so I thought it’d be fine, but that was my mistake.
Unlike the mountains in Korea, the forest here was thick with broadleaf trees, their branches forming a canopy so dense that not a single ray of sunlight broke through.
We’d only just entered, but it was already dark all around us.
“Which way did we come from?”
By the time I realized we were lost, too much time had passed.
What should we do now?
Fear began creeping in when suddenly, the crow appeared again, flapping its wings.
It held something golden in its claws.
“There it is!”
I reached out quietly, trying to catch the crow, and managed to grab its legs.
Got it!
Now we just needed to get back, but the moment I felt relieved, I lost my balance and tumbled to the ground. I rolled down and hit the earth hard.
I’d heard that when pain is too severe, your body shuts down your senses to prevent shock.
That’s exactly what happened to me.
For a moment, I felt nothing, then a wave of excruciating pain washed over me.
“This is definitely a fracture.”
I had an instinctive feeling that I shouldn’t move my body.
It was eerily similar to the situation I was in now, except this time, I was alone.
Back then, I wasn’t.
After I fell, the boy, startled and unsure of what to do, climbed down the rock wall toward me.
I could barely move my lips as I asked him,
“Can you go and get help from the adults?”
The boy nodded earnestly and disappeared somewhere.
Left alone, I gritted my teeth, knowing that if I fell asleep, I might never wake up again.
I fought off the urge to sleep. After a while, the boy returned, still sniffling.
“Couldn’t find the way back?”
He nodded, bucket and all.
Of course, I thought. I forced a smile, trying to reassure him.
“It’s fine. The adults will come looking for us soon.”
I couldn’t guarantee it, but I had to calm him down.
As I moved my lips to speak, I suddenly remembered what I was holding in my fist.
Slowly, I raised my hand and opened it to reveal the golden button.
Don’t cry, it’s okay. I wanted to say that, but the words wouldn’t come out.
I felt weaker and colder by the second.
Knowing that going for help was pointless, I grabbed onto the edge of the boy’s coat, trying to ward off the bone-chilling cold.
“I’m so cold…”
Nirvan’s nights were much warmer than this.
As my body turned icy, the boy, seemingly flustered, wrapped himself around me.
The warmth spreading from him felt like a small spark in the dark, and it reassured me a little.
“Don’t leave me… Stay here with me… Please…”
I knew I couldn’t fall asleep, but my consciousness was slipping away.
Alarmed, the boy suddenly stood up.
“I told you not to leave…”
Was this how I’d die?
My first life had ended in a pointless death, and now I was facing a similarly meaningless fate in my second.
I didn’t want to die so young, so helplessly.
I was terrified of being left alone and losing consciousness forever.
And what if this really was the end for me?
I begged silently for him not to leave, but his presence faded away.
Had he gone to find help?
Or was he scared of taking responsibility for my injuries?
I hadn’t asked for much—I just wanted him to stay with me.
But before I could wallow in that sorrow and resentment, my eyes closed, and the next time they opened, I was back in the familiar mansion.
“Young Master!”
Surrounded by familiar servants and the Everdeen couple, I asked what happened to the boy who had been with me.
Was he scolded?
Or was he praised for bringing help?
I hoped he was okay.
But the answer I received was unexpected.
“No child like that was on the guest list.”
Of the thirty or so children invited to the gathering, there was no boy who matched the description—pale as snow, thin as a stick, and mute.
Then who had I met?
Had I been tricked by a ghost?
I felt a mix of confusion and the betrayal and sadness I’d felt just before I passed out.
“I told you, if anyone bothers you again, just tell me. I’ll help you. Don’t suffer in silence, okay? Promise me.”
I’d even made him promise with a pinky swear, something we didn’t usually do here. But there was no next time.
I never saw him again at any gathering.
Despite attending event after event, I never heard a single thing about him.
In hindsight, it made sense.
I didn’t know his name, his family, or even his face.
I should’ve made sure to remember his name.
Was I afraid he’d resent me for leaving?
But what I resented more was that he never showed up in front of me again.
People always betray you right when you start to trust them.
I thought we were at least close enough for that not to happen.
But as I realized nothing had changed, I erased him from my mind.
Hernan was no different.
Even though nothing disastrous had happened to me, he acted like it was the end of the world.
But maybe that was just talk, too.
As the darkening sky slowly merged into a void, my consciousness blurred with it.
‘Ah…’
If I had known I’d die such a pointless death, I would’ve at least had one more dessert before coming out here.
Then at least I’d have gone out looking good, like a well-fed ghost.
As regret started to bubble up inside me, my eyes fully closed, and my body collapsed sideways.
For all that intense passion, like it was some love of the century, now look at me.
He saved the heroine so easily in the original story, but for me?
You’re heartless, a traitor, a loudmouth.
You’re the worst. I cursed Hernan in countless ways in the brief moments before a familiar scent suddenly reached me.
Sweet, yet deeply warming, with a cool touch that seeped into my lungs.
But mixed with it was the strong, unmistakable scent of blood that made me shiver violently.
At the same time, I instinctively burrowed into the warmth, as if it was something I had longed for.
Feeling two arms wrap around me, I finally lost consciousness.
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