* * *
At that moment, the people in front of us suddenly stood up. I quietly loosened up my body. I was slightly confused about what I was doing, but I soon regained my composure.
“Next group!”
I stood up. A senior I admired tried to pat my shoulder as he passed by, but I subtly changed direction and avoided it.
Soon, the music started.
‘This is strange.’
Even though my body felt heavy, my legs felt like they were floating. My body moved perfectly in sync with the beat. Without thinking, the dance flowed out of me from habit.
‘This is good.’
I felt my spirits lift, like I was on some strange drug.
Gasping for breath, I returned to my spot in line.
My vision went in and out of focus. I could feel eyes on me.
‘Not bad.’
A smile crept onto my face.
Forward, then two steps back. A jump to the right, then back to the left.
I could feel my heart pounding.
‘I wish the music wouldn’t stop.’
I glanced sideways, adjusting my movements. The chorus approached again. I felt the sweat dripping to the floor as I moved to the center. Smiling to the beat, I dispersed again.
The music was nearing its end.
As I executed the final move, something suddenly hit me hard from the right.
Thud—
I couldn’t understand what was happening. I gulped.
There I was, sprawled on the floor. When I came to my senses, I was already lying flat.
“Hey, are you okay?”
The manager was the first to rush over. Desperately trying to grasp the situation with my foggy mind, I heard the person who had collided with me speak.
“Sorry! It was an accident.”
Ah, I see.
I rolled my shoulder. My upper body seemed fine. But when I tried to stand, my lower body felt off.
‘Is it my ankle?’
I bent forward slightly. A dull pain spread.
“Crazy ambitious one, are you alright?”
“Do you have any spray?”
“What? I’ll get it.”
The manager quickly ran off.
Then, a woman’s voice reached me.
“Is it your ankle?”
I nodded.
“Do you need to go to the hospital?”
“I should. But…”
I looked at the senior I admired and grinned.
“After the monthly evaluation.”
He probably thought I would give up.
“There will be another evaluation next month.”
I shook my head.
“No. This evaluation is now or never.”
I didn’t want to waste time on such trivial things.
“Look at you, risking your life?”
I smiled brightly.
“Yes, indeed. I wonder why.”
I checked my ankle again.
“I feel like I need to risk everything right now.”
I could pass next month’s evaluation, but really, what was the reason? If I backed down now, everything would be in vain.
“I can’t stop you. Do as you please. But why is your face so flushed?”
I smiled with all my heart.
“Must be excitement. Don’t worry about it.”
Soon, the manager returned with the spray. I took off my shoe and applied it.
The director said something to the senior I admired. His face turned redder than mine, despite my fever.
The guy who couldn’t tell up from down shouted at the director.
‘Well, that’s none of my business.’
I focused on my situation.
‘Honestly, this is nothing.’
When I was a stuntman, things like this happened countless times. Even when I finished work forcefully because there was no substitute, my face never appeared on screen.
‘Compared to that, there’s much more hope here.’
I pulled out the smartphone from my pocket.
‘Because I have this.’
I immediately tapped the screen.
[Cha Dowon left ankle recovery]
Please work.
[Updated.]
[Side effect: fever increases by 1 degree.]
Damn it.
I held my now even hotter head.
‘Are you really trying to kill me?’
What did I ever do to you? Huh?
‘But what can I do.’
At this point, I just have to endure with sheer willpower.
‘Let’s do this.’
My dizziness made me laugh.
“Dowon, are you alright?”
“No, I’m not.”
The words came out without passing through my mind.
“But I’ll be fine.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“I won’t back down.”
It’s just a fever, right?
It’ll be gone by tomorrow, right?
I staggered to my feet.
“Manager, can I ask you a favor?”
“What? What is it?”
“Can you move my turn up? I want to do the individual dance evaluation earlier.”
“That, that should be possible!”
The manager hurried to the judges.
After saying something to the director, she glanced back at me.
She nodded. The manager made an ‘okay’ sign with his fingers.
‘Looks like it’s set.’
I stood up. My ankle moved freely as if nothing had happened.
As I loosened up, I felt the senior’s gaze. He looked utterly displeased.
‘Keep living like that.’
Jealousy is a disadvantage to the jealous. Living with self-loathing for life is its own kind of hell. You brat.
‘I know because I’ve lived that way.’
I stood up and walked. Hot breaths came out in puffs.
‘Let’s burn it up.’
There’s still the vocal evaluation left,
A gesture came to get ready.
I stood in the center of the practice room. I felt sharp gazes on me. It was definitely different from the group evaluation. I heard murmurs from all around.
The word ‘music video’ flashed by.
‘Yeah, that’s me.’
I liked being watched. Soon, the music started.
My body moved. This time, it was neither heavy nor light. But as I danced, my feet grew heavy.
‘Is it because of the fever?’
A mild fever and a high fever are definitely different.
Are you really trying to kill me? A laugh escaped.
I moved my body to the rhythm.
‘But if you give it your all, you’ll see results.’
I snapped my foot. The choreography was a perfect mix of basic and advanced moves.
I slid my upper body. Sweat trickled down between my shirt.
My smile grew wider. The judges’ gazes and the trainees’ admiration felt great.
My body, which had felt a bit heavy, now felt light.
It was as if I had taken some strange drug.
The wind brushing against me as I moved felt almost intoxicating.
‘What a crazy feeling.’
Just then, someone said,
“That person’s crazy, right?”
Maybe they’re right.
Three minutes and thirty seconds passed quickly. The final thump of the music echoed. I quietly caught my breath as sweat trickled down my neck.
The audience was silent. Why aren’t they saying anything about the performance? I really want to hear their thoughts.
Finally, Director Joo spoke up.
“So, Cha Dowon?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve been with our company for two weeks, right?”
“Yes.”
Director Joo seemed flustered, rubbing her face.
“You seem like a different person.”
I smiled softly. Was it just my imagination, or did the floor seem to rise a bit?
But I stood still and endured.
“Can someone really improve this much in such a short time?”
“Director Joo, is it that good?”
“Yes, you were just at an ordinary level before, but now you seem like a professional. Like a different person.”
Then the manager spoke up.
“Dowon is hard-worker here has been practicing diligently. I’ve seen him get up early to exercise and practice every day.”
I felt the sharp stares around me. Through my blurred vision, I saw the trainees glaring at me.
The thrill of it all sent shivers down my spine.
‘Yes, be more jealous.’
Because that’s what I like.
I couldn’t control my thoughts.
“Can someone change this much in two weeks just by trying? You’re Cha Dowon, right? I’m impressed.”
“Thank you.”
“Is it the power of youth? Kids your age are incredible. I also heard you did exceptionally well in the music video shoot?”
I shrugged. More sweat dripped to the floor.
“It seems like we’ve brought in a remarkable talent. I haven’t been this excited since Minjae.”
The smile on my face grew wider. It was the compliment I wanted to hear. Yet, it felt bittersweet.
I wanted to be more than Kang Minjae. Only I knew how extraordinary I could become from now on.
“Not yet….”
My voice cracked. I was really thirsty.
“You should listen to my singing too.”
This isn’t everything, Director Joo.
Our eyes met. Director Joo grinned.
“Right.”
Director Joo crossed her legs and looked me up and down, like a chef inspecting fresh seafood.
“Kid, tell me. Should I expect a lot from your vocals or not?”
“Whatever you expect, it will be more than that.”
So, expect a lot.
Director Joo laughed heartily. She motioned with her hand for me to go in.
I forced myself to walk straight, putting strength into my legs.
As the tension released, I felt dizzy. I leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths.
Someone spoke to me then.
“Hey….”
It was someone from the same group whose name I didn’t know.
“You were amazing.”
I smiled brightly. Compliments were always nice to hear.
“Thank you. I worked hard to not hold back the group during evaluations.”
“I think it’s more like we’re lucky if we don’t hold you back.”
Through my blurred vision, I saw the trainee who had spoken smiling.
Maybe because they were young, their voice was pleasant, and I found myself smiling along, but I felt a sharp gaze.
Turning slightly, I saw my dear senior glaring at me mercilessly.
‘Does glaring at me kill me?’
I wiggled my ankles.
“How trivial.”
Die of jealousy for the rest of your life, you jerk.
The manager stopped him from coming closer. I smirked.
Then I slid down the wall, still leaning against it.
‘Resting a bit might be good.’
When would the vocal evaluation start?
“When is the vocal evaluation?”
“It starts after this. Since you came in last, you’ll go last.”
“I see. Thank you.”
I closed my eyes. My eyes felt hot, probably from the fever.
“I’ll rest a bit.”
“Okay! Rest.”
I half-lay down. My heavy, hot breaths were annoying. Soon, the manager approached.
“You ambitious lunatic, why are you like a boiled radish today?”
“Manager, if I’m still asleep when it’s my turn, please wake me up.”
“Huh? You’re going to sleep? It’ll take a while. Aren’t you going to eat?”
I smiled bitterly. I didn’t think I could manage it. If I coughed while eating, it would be a big problem.
‘Because I might cough up blood.’
I didn’t want to say more.
“I don’t really feel like eating. I’ll trust you, Manager.”
I lay down in the corner of the practice room. As soon as I closed my eyes, sleep overcame me.
***
I felt groggy. Someone was shaking my arm, and I barely opened my eyes, my vision still blurry.
“Ambitious lunatic!”
I smiled bitterly.
“It’s Cha Dowon.”
“Huh?”
I pushed back my hair that had fallen over my face. My neck was damp with sweat.
“You’re up after the next person.”
I looked around. People had definitely left.
Where am I?
“Wow, the audience has thinned out?”
“Huh?”
“Is it raining? Boss, should I go out and gather more people?”
Oh, it’s the waiting room. But there aren’t many people.
“Ambitious lunatic?”
“It’s Cha Dowon.”
I smiled brightly. It was already a small theater group; it wouldn’t do to have so few people.
“Boss, why have you gained so much weight? I told you to eat more vegetables.”
“Why is this kid acting like this?”
“Is the government support not coming through again? Oh no, our theater group can’t close down.”
I stood up. I stumbled a bit but managed to keep my balance.
“If the theater group closes, I’ll lose my job too. Boss, when does the performance start?”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. If not me, there’s no one else to take over, right? The curtain rises in a few minutes?”
“Five minutes? Hey, you seem off.”
“Oh, I need to get ready.”
First, I should warm up my voice. I tightened my abs. The familiar sound came out.
The boss kept looking at me worriedly. Oh, is it because of the fever? I’m fine, really.
“Boss, after today’s performance….”
I smiled brightly.
“I’ll take care of the food. You know, the boss. I’m good at cooking rice.”
I loosened my shoulders and waist. The boss’s expression gradually turned strange.
* * *
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