* * *

“So you’re not denying it,” Seo Woohyun murmured with a dry voice.

“Since you’re asking if I remember something.”

Erdian closed the book he was holding.

“Ah… I thought something was off. Cecily even asked me if I remembered a sword. You’ve all been dropping hints that were impossible to ignore.”

Slowly, Seo Woohyun sat up, the blanket shifting to reveal a small, soft creature he’d been holding while he slept.

Seeing the tiny blue-skinned hatchling reminded him of the question Erdian had once asked with a smile in the carriage.

“You asked if I liked dragons back in the carriage… was that also to test if I’d remember?”

Erdian didn’t answer.

Seo Woohyun was curious about his expression, but he didn’t dare look.

He doubted any expression on Erdian’s face would make him feel better.

Hating the heavy silence, Seo Woohyun muttered, trying to maintain a casual tone.

“Wow… so reincarnation is real. I always thought it was just nonsense.”

Seo Woohyun bit his lip, struggling to sort through his tangled emotions.

In his past life, he had been ‘Ciel,’ Erdian’s lover, even revered as the first Saint.

That was the only way he could explain Cecily’s cryptic questions, Erdian’s relentless kindness, and his inexplicable behavior.

When Seo Woohyun had asked if the reason he’d been brought here was because of his past life, Erdian hadn’t denied it.

Instead, he’d simply asked if Seo Woohyun remembered anything.

“That’s why you asked back then, wasn’t it? When I was rambling drunkenly, you couldn’t openly talk about reincarnation, so you brought it up as if it were a fantasy novel… asking if being in someone else’s body would be easier?”

Erdian remained silent, not offering any denials. That silence left only one possible meaning.

“Even the quest screen that only I could see… showing me how to adapt, and calling me a Saint—it all had a reason.”

“Seo Woohyun, tell me everything you remember.”

“I remember that ‘Ciel’ and Lord Erdian were… inseparable. Enough that I’d take an arrow for him.”

The sound of Erdian inhaling sharply broke the silence.

Suppressing the words lodged in his throat, Seo Woohyun looked up.

In the dimly lit inn room, with only a small lamp casting light, the god-like figure sitting beside him looked as beautiful as ever.

And utterly tormented.

Seo Woohyun realized from Erdian’s attitude that he was still mourning, longing for, and loving “Ciel.”

It finally made sense why Erdian’s one-sided kindness toward him had always felt subtly off.

“So, Erdian, you never really liked me, did you?”

“…”

“It was my past self you loved—Ciel, not Seo Woohyun.”

Every time he spoke that name, a name that wasn’t truly his, shame surged within him.

Every friendly gesture Erdian had made while calling him “Ciel,” oblivious to Woohyun’s true identity, now felt like a deception.

No, it was undeniably a deception.

“So, when I died on that other side, you brought me here, telling me to live as I please—because I was once your lover.”

“Woohyun, I…”

Erdian met Woohyun’s gaze but couldn’t find words.

A display of anger or irritation might have given Woohyun something to console, but Erdian’s tone was dry, his expression unfathomably composed.

“I understand now why you said what you did when I chose a pseudonym. You thought ‘Ciel’ was the perfect name for me, didn’t you? After all, that’s the name I used in my past life.”

“…That wasn’t my intention.”

“Really? But if it weren’t for my past life, you’d have no reason to care about me. Even if you had watched me back in Korea, I didn’t accomplish anything remarkable.”

“…”

“If it wasn’t about my past life, then why did you even notice me in this miserable job, one where everyone eventually gets promoted if they just stick it out a few months?”

Woohyun trailed off, realizing even to himself that his words were sarcastic.

This wasn’t a logical argument but a reaction to the discovery that Erdian hadn’t cared for him as he truly was.

It was nothing more than an outburst, fueled by embarrassment.

“Woohyun.”

Erdian repeatedly used the name “Woohyun” instead of “Ciel,” yet Woohyun’s emotions were too tangled to accept even this kindly meant gesture.

However, there was one thing Woohyun could express with certainty.

“About that past life… even though I saw glimpses of it in my dreams, I barely remember anything clearly. I don’t intend to cling to it as if it were truly my experience. Frankly, it feels like I intruded on someone else’s secrets. It’s unsettling, and honestly, quite unbelievable.”

“…I understand.”

“I want to make it clear right now. I’m not Ciel. From the fragmented scenes I saw of why you fell in love with him, I still can’t fully grasp it. And honestly, it feels like I’m just a stand-in.”

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t see similarities between you and Ciel. I won’t lie to you, Woohyun. But I waited for you for a very long time, hoping to meet you again.”

Erdian’s words brought back memories of what he had once said to him.

“You’re the first saint to return in over 1,215 years.”

Maybe he should have caught on back then.

If he had, he might not feel so deceived now.

But it was all meaningless in hindsight.

“And also…”

Erdian gently took Woohyun’s hand, noticing the clenched knuckles and the veins rising across his hand, soothing him with a soft touch.

“I’m truly happy to have met you again.”

“…”

“I just hope you’ll understand that. And you’re not a replacement for Ciel.”

Even though he’d been called “Ciel” by Erdian countless times since their journey began, Woohyun couldn’t suppress the rising emotion any longer.

“Then what am I, if not a replacement? You claim to care about me, but you’ve clung to memories I don’t even remember, acting like you’re drawn to me because of it. If that’s not replacing him, then what is it?”

Erdian hadn’t chosen Woohyun randomly, watching him back in Korea out of some sudden attraction.

He was drawn to Woohyun because he was waiting for the reincarnation of his past lover, Ciel.

“If I weren’t Ciel’s reincarnation, you wouldn’t have had any reason to care about me, right? Out of everyone on this crowded Earth, you wouldn’t have been looking out for someone like Seo Woohyun.”

Unable to deny it, Erdian remained silent, which Woohyun took as confirmation.

The silence was interrupted by the sound of the pet stirring, likely due to his raised voice.

Only after spilling his emotions could Woohyun start to gather himself again.

“Thank you for helping me settle here. I may be a bit clueless, but I’m not ungrateful. Now, I have a better sense of what it means to be a saint…”

Woohyun trailed off, taking a long, deep breath, trying to calm the storm of feelings that one breath alone couldn’t settle.

“I won’t deny that your kindness allowed me to live comfortably. I truly appreciate it, then and now.”

“…”

“But this… it’s still not right.”

Woohyun bit his trembling lip and looked up.

Although he didn’t want to see Erdian for a while, he felt this was something he had to say to his face.

“I’ll give you the answer I postponed back in the carriage.”

Erdian’s eyes subtly quivered, his golden gaze regaining its intensity.

The memory of Erdian holding him tenderly and calling him “Ciel” made Woohyun’s stomach churn, but he didn’t want to hold back.

“I won’t… no, I can’t be in a relationship with you. No matter how much I think about it, I can’t compare to Ciel, the person you loved so passionately for over a thousand years.”

“…”

“How could I ever compare to someone you waited over a millennium for? I’m not him. Just because I remember fragments doesn’t mean I’ve become him.”

Erdian’s face fell.

He hadn’t expected Woohyun to reject him like this, let alone feel deceived by the memories Erdian had been subtly trying to rekindle.

“Even though I have to keep using the name ‘Ciel’ until our journey ends, I prefer my real name, Seo Woohyun.”

His voice wavered slightly as he said his name, and his eyes grew moist.

Erdian reached out, but Woohyun gently, yet firmly, blocked his hand.

“I’m not Ciel, who took an arrow in your place, but Woohyun—someone abandoned in an orphanage by parents who couldn’t care less, yet who grew up to live as best he could. I hope you understand that now.”

His introduction felt layered with emotions that hadn’t been there when he first arrived in this world, when he had been merely following Erdian’s lead.

Now, it felt like a repudiation of the relationship built on the remnants of someone else’s life.

“I understand.”

Erdian lowered his hand and murmured, while Woohyun closed his eyes, realizing only then that he’d raised his voice.

“Sorry for being confrontational. I lost control of my emotions for a moment.”

All the tenderness he’d felt, once stirred by stolen glances and stolen touches, now felt entirely extinguished.

Woohyun’s voice was as matter-of-fact as a report to a superior, though it hadn’t always been so devoid of feeling.

“It’s all right. Maybe I’ve been too one-sided in pushing my expectations onto you. Thank you for being honest.”

“…”

“It’s still early. How about getting some more sleep?”

Erdian’s suggestion made Woohyun’s cheek twitch.

Despite the rejection, Erdian was still kind and gentle.

So long as Erdian kept his kindness, Woohyun knew he could continue living comfortably in this saintly role.

And yet, he couldn’t help but feel uneasy.

Facing Erdian for long conversations might be difficult for a while.

“I’ll go back to sleep.”

“All right. Would you like me to turn off the light?”

The question, spoken with such sincerity, felt awkward.

Woohyun knew why Erdian’s kindness existed. It wasn’t truly directed at him.

“Do whatever you like.”

“Then, sleep well.”

“Yes.”

After the dry conversation ended, the room fell into darkness.

Seo Woohyun lay in bed with his eyes open, unable to sleep for a long time.

* * *