GTLTGIDES chapter 69

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“You came to hang out, but you’re going to talk about something so boring?”

“…”

Just as I started speaking, Cha Junseong revealed his true feelings with a dark expression, just as I expected.

I didn’t even need to hear what he wanted to say to know.

He must want to talk about the incident where Cha Younghwan threw me against the wall.

‘Heewoon, I want to make one thing clear.’

‘It was never my intention for you to get hurt. All I asked was for a chance to talk privately. But that bastard acted on. His own…!’

‘Of course, it was wrong of me to meet you without listening to your thoughts. But as an Esper, I’d never harm a civilian! It’s a matter of pride for me!’

Even right before I left the country, Maria was still furious about that day, promising to make sure Cha Younghwan would face consequences for his violence against me. But I refused he help.

I still get angry when I think about how she insulted Eunsoo, and I’ll never forgive her. But I didn’t want to escalate things. I’d just settle for a hefty compensation.

If I made enemies of those people, it wouldn’t be me who’d suffer—it’d be Eunsoo.

If they decided to take revenge later, it would be a real headache.

Besides, knowing that family, it wouldn’t be Cha Younghwan cleaning up the mess—it’d be Cha Junseong.

“…I’m sorry.”

Even now, he’s beside me, head bowed, looking guilty.

Why is he carrying this burden of guilt, as if he did something wrong?

“It’s fine. I don’t hold a grudge against him, and I’m already healed without any aftereffects. Just make sure nothing like that happens again. That’s all I ask.”

“…”

“More importantly, the Guiding. If we delay any longer, it’ll be a problem for me.”

I’m not exactly an extraordinary Guide. If any emotional impurities pile up in an S-class Esper, I might not be able to handle it.

Especially after an incident like this, who knows how much Cha Junseong must have struggled alone?. His mind must be a wreck.

“They say two heads are better than one. You should share your burdens. That’s what Guides are for, isn’t it? Come on.”

I opened my arms to Cha Junseong, but he didn’t approach right away.

I tilted my head, watching him hesitate.

“You’re not going to do it?”

“I… I will.”

Even though he said it so firmly, he still didn’t move closer. It seems he doesn’t like showing even a part of. His emotions.

But it couldn’t be helped.

‘Sharing burdens.’

That’s the guiding mechanism of ‘The Genius Guide’s Melancholy’.

What gives an Esper their special powers is the explosion of emotions within them.

Just as using energy leaves waste behind, using emotion-based abilities creates impurities.

If left unchecked, it becomes hard for the Esper to control their emotions.

The Esper can manage some of those impurities through meditation and other means, but the stronger they are, the harder it becomes for one person to handle alone.

That’s where the Guide comes in.

The Esper transfers those emotional impurities to the Guide, who calms the Esper’s turbulent emotions, bringing them back to stability.

‘Eunsoo’s guiding mechanism was a bit different, though…’

Because of his unique personality, Eunsoo couldn’t fit into the typical role of a Guide, and he always operated on his own.

It wasn’t until the very end, when the romance developed, that he engaged in standard guiding.

But Eunsoo can’t use his abilities right now, so there’s no other choice.

Eventually, Cha Junseong gave in and held me.

After all that hesitation, he hugged me tightly, almost suffocating me, as if he’d never let me go.

I didn’t resist and let myself be held, not wanting to invalidate the courage it took for him to finally embrace me.

As expected, he must’ve been through a lot of mental anguish.

Even though it was just a simple physical connection for the guiding, the amount of emotional impurity flowing into me was significant.

It seemed like his emotions were still out of control, as sharp feelings and his current state of mind flowed into me along with the impurities.

I unconsciously tightened my grip around him.

“Ugh…”

“Heewoon, if it’s too much…”

“N-no, I can handle it.”

Honestly, the pain from his emotions wasn’t much worse than usual.

Cha Junseong has one of the most painful mental landscapes among the Special A Team, after all.

No matter how much it hurts, it always feels like I’m being torn apart, so it’s not really different.

The problem was that I had recently experienced the sensation of my body truly being destroyed.

The similarity between the feelings was messing with me, amplifying my fear of death.

Normally, I’d just grit my teeth and endure it, but today I was sweating uncontrollably.

“Just a little longer…”

“…”

I stubbornly held on to Cha Junseong.

Partly because I was afraid he’d push me away out of concern, but also because I wanted to steel my own heart, to make sure I didn’t run away.

Even though my arms were trembling and losing strength, I dug my nails in to keep holding on.

It seemed my desperation had reached him.

He didn’t let go or push me away. Instead, he pressed my head gently, guiding me to lean on his shoulder.

Thanks to that, I could relax and focus on the guiding.

Along with the emotional waves, I could feel. His concern for me.

More than his aggressive emotions, it was his kindness that hurt the most.

“Junseong, I… I don’t blame you.”

Usually, we’re not supposed to speak about the emotions that flow in during guiding, but I thought I could make things easier if I did, so I made an exception this time.

And my instinct was right. His sharp, tense emotions noticeably softened.

Through the pain that felt like my bones were shattering, I faintly smiled.

“Don’t let yourself be crushed by guilt… You didn’t hurt me.”

I opened my heart, showing him that I didn’t hate him. It felt vulnerable, but it was better than letting misunderstandings fester.

Since we’re connected as Esper and Guide, we might as well make the most of it.

Cha Junseong didn’t respond with words.

He just tightened his grip on my shoulders a little more.

That warmth made me laugh softly.

I wanted to praise him, but I couldn’t lift my arms, so I nuzzled my forehead against his broad shoulder instead.

“Haah…”

But… maybe it was the near-death experience in the garden, but my body wasn’t in great shape.

It felt like my consciousness was flickering, like an old lightbulb about to burn out.

Cha Junseong’s emotions were definitely calmer since I started talking.

But the guiding itself was becoming too overwhelming.

It felt like the energy I’d barely scraped together for guiding had run out, forcing my life force to take its place.

I tried to steady my breathing as best as I could.

‘I shouldn’t be like this.’

He already feels guilty because of Cha Younghwan.

If I show that I’m struggling with the guiding, it’ll only make things worse…

But despite my best efforts, my consciousness slipped away.

My body went limp, falling backward.

“Heewoon, Heewoon! Stay with me…!”

“I’m… I’m okay.”

Thankfully, I regained consciousness quickly.

But Cha Junseong’s voice was still echoing in my head, making it throb like I was in a giant cave.

“You’re not okay. We need to go to the hospital.”

“I’m really okay. I’ve been spending time with Polwel’s top-tier healing esper, haven’t I? Don’t worry. It’s just… I’m a bit tired. I’ll be fine after a quick nap.”

I feel guilty using Maria’s name like this, but I need to avoid going to the hospital. I’m sure he’d understand, knowing how desperately I’m clinging to life.

Eunsoo cried so much, thinking I had died.

Now that I’m okay, he thinks it was a mistake, but if I go to the hospital after just a few days of being fine, he’ll notice something’s off right away.

He already resents the three espers who hurt me, and if he finds out they’re the reason I almost died, it’ll be a disaster.

Everything I’ve worked for would collapse, and it could even lead to something worse.

I must not let him find out. Never.

“Are you okay now, Junseong?”

“…Yeah. I’m fine.”

I placed my hand on Cha Junseong’s chest, checking his condition.

He was stable.

It felt fulfilling. As a guide, there’s nothing better than seeing your espers at peace.

“…Why are you looking at me like that?”

Now that my work here was done, I should’ve left, but he kept staring at me, even putting away his device.

“I’m thinking if there’s anything I can do for you.”

It seemed he wanted to do something for me after I had exhausted myself guiding him.

Cha Junseong might act tough, but he’s a thoughtful and kind leader.

Jokingly, I said, “Well then, would you lend me your lap so I can sleep comfortably?”

Without hesitation, he sat on the edge of the bench and patted his thigh, motioning for me to lie down.

“Go ahead.”

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