* * *

‘Is it because it’s his first time…?’

Eunsoo’s tongue was clumsy, his breathing uneven, his movements too hurried to sustain prolonged contact.

The key to guiding through mucosal interaction was to increase the points of connection while avoiding overly sensitive areas.

Yet, Eunsoo struggled with both, like someone exploring such intimacy for the first time.

The emotional resonance wasn’t coming across well, despite their efforts.

At first, the disparity in their intensity meant even brief touches were potent, but that was no longer the case.

Though he tried to lead, stroking Eunsoo’s hair to soothe him, Eunsoo’s stubborn streak made him reluctant to follow.

It was like dealing with a headstrong puppy.

‘Well, I suppose we’ll stop here for now.’

It was disappointing.

He hadn’t yet cleansed all the impurities in Eunsoo’s emotions, nor fully accepted the rest of him.

It would have been indescribably satisfying to do so.

But there was no helping it; Eunsoo wasn’t cooperating.

Frustration bubbled up, leaving a bitter aftertaste.

And his body, trembling from the pleasure moments ago, now felt stiff and sore.

If they didn’t stop, he’d likely regret it tomorrow with aching muscles.

He placed a firm hand on Eunsoo’s shoulder.

Though stubborn, Eunsoo didn’t ignore his silent refusal.

“Eunsoo…”

“Yes, hyung.”

His answer came easily enough, but Eunsoo’s bright blue eyes looked dazed, his breathing still ragged.

For someone with such a strong physique, Eunsoo rarely seemed this winded, even after intense physical activity.

Even so, as the connection between them loosened, Eunsoo seemed unwilling to let go.

He repeatedly brushed soft kisses against his cheek.

The fleeting annoyance he’d felt over Eunsoo’s earlier resistance melted away into a smile.

Adorable. Eunsoo was utterly adorable.

“…How was the guiding?”

At his question, Eunsoo seemed to regain a fraction of his composure, his cascade of kisses slowing.

As expected, Eunsoo’s face turned bright red, like a perfectly ripened apple.

Perhaps he was just now grasping the weight of what they’d done.

For a long moment, Eunsoo’s mouth opened and closed wordlessly before his hands shot up to cover his face.

“Is… is guiding always like this? No wonder people go crazy for you, hyung…”

“Why? What was it like?”

“Well… it was like…” Eunsoo hesitated, his voice a mix of shyness and bewilderment. “Like we became one….”

“…”

It made sense.

Emotional impurities were still part of an Esper’s being.

When a guide absorbed those impurities, the Esper would naturally feel as though part of themselves had been shared.

It wasn’t unusual for Espers and guides to fall in love for this very reason.

But judging by Eunsoo’s reaction, he realized they had ventured into dangerous territory.

Bonding.

When emotions and physical connections align perfectly, it can lead to a profound merging of souls.

Ordinarily, the first level of mucosal guiding wouldn’t cause this.

But perhaps his feelings for Eunsoo, combined with Eunsoo’s inexperience and lack of boundaries, created a unique set of circumstances.

“That was close…”

Had Eunsoo been a little more adept at kissing, they might have crossed the point of no return, forever binding Eunsoo to him.

“And… it felt like you liked me a lot. It’s confusing. Makes me misunderstand…”

“Hmm.”

He hesitated, torn between explaining and staying silent.

But he made his decision quickly.

“I’m not an Esper, so I can’t know exactly what you’re feeling. But if that’s how it seemed to you…”

His words faltered, tongue awkward from their earlier kiss.

He wanted to talk, but his body craved more.

Regretfully, he pushed those desires aside.

“…it’s probably because I really, really like you.”

“…”

He hadn’t planned to confess.

He thought there was no need for words; Espers could sense emotions through touch.

And they’d already shared intimate contact.

Surely Eunsoo had known.

But judging by the wide-eyed shock on Eunsoo’s face, he clearly hadn’t.

Eunsoo stared, utterly bewildered, making his confession all the more embarrassing.

Now that he’d admitted his feelings, guiding Eunsoo might no longer be possible.

If he’d known this would happen, he would’ve…

‘Wait. That’s not the point.’

This wasn’t about regret.

What mattered was the line he’d crossed.

Engaging in guiding with someone he had feelings for, outside of an emergency situation, was a breach of protocol.

The Bureau specifically advised against intimate guiding without mutual consent in emotionally involved relationships.

“…I’m sorry.”

It felt like ice water had been poured over him.

Was this harassment?

Had he taken advantage of Eunsoo?

Panicked, he tried to pull away from Eunsoo’s lap, but Eunsoo held him tightly, almost painfully so.

“Hyung.”

“…Yes?”

“Say it again.”

“…Sorry.”

“No, before that. What you said earlier.”

Before?

Eunsoo pulled him closer, hands trembling, but his grip gentle enough to let him escape if he wished.

“Do you like me? That way?”

Eunsoo’s voice was unsteady, filled with both desperation and uncertainty.

His hands, though trembling, refused to let go.

It was the same look Eunsoo had when he’d clung to him during the “Miracle of Early Summer,” pleading with frantic sincerity.

He gazed into Eunsoo’s blue eyes, seeing nothing but raw emotion.

As if spellbound, he whispered, “I like you.”

“Why… why me? Is it because I saved you? I told you not to think about those five years I spent looking for you. Don’t like me out of pity. The others like you too, genuinely. They’re good people…”

“Eunsoo.”

He reached out, cupping Eunsoo’s flushed cheek.

“Be honest with me.”

“……”

When I met Eunsoo’s gaze, his eyes lowered this time.

“Hyung.”

“Yes.”

“If… If you kiss me, I’ll tell you…”

It truly felt like we had returned to that moment from ‘The Miracle of Early Summer.’

Except for the fact that Eunsoo had grown so much, everything else was exactly the same.

A faint smile appeared on my lips.

“Alright. Let’s do it.”

The hand that had been gripping my arm moved up to cup my cheek.

Although Eunsoo’s actions mirrored the past, his body had grown significantly, making it feel as though I was entirely enveloped by his hands.

As Eunsoo’s face drew closer, I closed my eyes.

Soon, something warm touched my lips, trembling as if burdened by an enormous guilt.

Why is my Eunsoo trembling so much?

He had faced even monsters without flinching.

I wrapped an arm around his back, gently patting it, and parted my lips first, inviting the light peck to become a proper kiss.

But Eunsoo remained still, his lips pressed to my lower lip, unmoving.

“I love you.”

Eunsoo confessed.

Even before fulfilling my request for a kiss.

As if he couldn’t bear to hold it in any longer.

His blue eyes, which met mine, shimmered like lakes before tears streamed down.

“I lied when I said I’d moved on. I love you. Truly. Hyung, you’re everything to me. I’ve never stopped loving you, not even for a single moment… How could I move on?”

Though one stream of tears had fallen, more kept welling up.

The countless emotions he had swallowed over the past five years surged and receded in waves.

“I understand that you like those people… but I don’t. I want you to love only me. Honestly, I don’t even want to share you with anyone else. You’re mine. I found you. You’re my hyung. No matter how great they are, I can treat you better. Even if I’m not enough, I’ll try harder. I love you and adore you more than anyone else ever could, so… please, love only me…”

Eunsoo clamped his mouth shut, swallowing back a sob, but the feelings he couldn’t voice instead poured out through his eyes.

His tear-soaked cheeks stirred my pity.

I wanted to wipe them dry, but I was barehanded.

I had no choice but to use my palm, my knuckles, but the tears didn’t stop, quickly soaking my hands.

“And yet, Hyung… all of this happened because of me, didn’t it? I was the one who told you not to go because I didn’t want you to meet them. So you went in my place, and that’s why it happened. I… even when I got hurt back then… it was really because I wanted to bring you back…”

“Don’t tell me… that time…”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s my fault… I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

Eunsoo’s shoulders quivered as he spoke.

At the same time, his arms wrapped around me in a desperate embrace.

It wasn’t strong; it was simply a plea not to lose me.

* * *