* * *
‘Faster than I expected.’
“Yeah, got it.”
There wasn’t much to prepare, so I immediately stepped beside Mila.
Suddenly, the height difference between us caught my attention.
It hadn’t even been a few months, yet my body must have grown quite a bit—now, I was almost as tall as Mila.
There was only about half a head’s difference.
“Shall we go, then?”
I nodded at Mila’s words and started walking.
At the same time, I revisited the realization I had just come to.
‘Now that I think about it, when I first possessed this body, Sean was pretty small.’
Even compared to Raizen, who was only a year older, I had been much shorter and smaller in stature.
And that was taking into account that Raizen was well-developed for his age.
‘Not to mention, he was incredibly thin.’
I could still vividly remember the state of Sean’s body right after I possessed him.
But I hadn’t given it much thought.
Or rather, I hadn’t been able to.
Being thrown into an entirely different world with my reality flipped upside down had left me in too much of a daze… and the fact that the face in the mirror looked exactly like my own had made it easy to overlook.
‘The Marquis Kreveta couple wouldn’t have neglected their child to the point of starvation.’
Then… the poor condition of Sean’s body might have something to do with the possession itself.
‘Now that I think about it, I’ve been so busy dealing with immediate issues that I haven’t once stopped to consider Sean himself.’
What had he been like before I took over?
What was the current state of the Kreveta household?
‘And come to think of it, for someone who supposedly lost their memories, wasn’t it odd that I never showed even a hint of curiosity about my past?’
One thought led to another, multiplying rapidly.
Acting was proving to be harder than I had expected.
“…Ha.”
I let out a sigh without realizing it, then quickly swallowed it back down.
Fortunately, Mila didn’t seem to notice.
Still walking with a slightly serious expression, she suddenly flinched and came to a stop. I also halted and shifted my gaze.
‘Huh…?’
In the open space between the stairs connecting the second and third floors stood Raizen.
“I greet you, Young Young Master Raizen.”
At Mila’s greeting, Raizen gave a slight nod before walking straight toward me.
“Sei.”
“Hm?”
The moment I lifted my head, I was met with a piercing red gaze.
His sharp stare felt like an awl digging into me.
“……”
So this is what it feels like to be an insect pinned to a board.
It was just a look, yet my entire body stiffened.
He had been watching me closely for quite some time, but this was different.
His gaze still seemed to dissect me down to my very core, yet unlike before—when it was almost devoid of emotion—this time…
There was something there.
Forcing a smile, I curled my lips upward.
“What’s up, hyung?”
At that word—hyung—Raizen’s gaze, which had been fixated on me, wavered.
“…Hyung?”
He seemed… surprised?
But why?
‘Didn’t he absolutely hate it when I called him hyung before…?’
Every time I had called him that, he had looked at me like I was some kind of mutant creature.
I had only thrown it out there now because the atmosphere was suffocating, but his reaction was unexpected.
Honestly, once today’s conversation with the duke and duchess was over, I had planned to retire the whole ‘hyung’ thing anyway.
“Well, they must be waiting. You’re coming too, right, hyung?”
Raizen stared at me for a moment before nodding.
Without hesitation, I grabbed his hand.
“Let’s go already!”
If I stay alone with you any longer, I might actually lose years off my life.
∗ ∗ ∗
Mila led us to a room that, at this point, might as well have been designated for family meetings.
True to the idea of a “tea time,” the table was adorned with an array of desserts and drinks.
Amid this seemingly warm and inviting scene, the duke and duchess welcomed me.
“Sei, come in.”
“You arrived without missing Raizen on the way.”
Maybe it was because I already had an idea of what they were going to say.
They seemed to be trying to act natural.
As I took my seat and looked across from me, I noticed that the duchess’s eyelids were slightly swollen.
She stared at me for a moment before lowering her gaze.
“Hmm…”
With her hands wrapped around her teacup, she remained silent for a while.
In the end, it was Duke Pantheon who spoke first.
“The reason we called you here today is… because there’s something we need to tell you. Something we should have told you sooner, but didn’t.”
So I was right.
‘Yeah. It’s about time, anyway.’
This whole charade of playing the clueless child.
I slowly opened my mouth, feeling how dry it had become.
“It’s okay. I… wasn’t in a good state for a while, was I? Please… don’t feel bad about it.”
The moment I finished speaking, the duchess’s head snapped up.
Her emerald eyes trembled slightly.
This time, it was me who looked away.
“I… actually already know.”
“Sei.”
“My parents…”
“……”
“They passed away.”
The sound of a chair scraping backward, the hurried clatter of heels against the floor—then warmth enveloped me.
“I’m sorry.”
“……”
“I’m so, so sorry, Sei.”
What exactly is there to be so sorry for?
I’ll probably never know.
I’m not the real Sean, after all.
And honestly, even if my real parents—the ones who gave birth to me in Korea—had died in some tragic accident, I doubt I’d feel much sadness.
“It’s okay, I—”
But why are you—people who aren’t even blood-related to me—so kind?
Why do you treat me like you’ve known me forever, giving me everything I once desperately wanted but eventually gave up on?
‘It makes me feel guilty.’
“…I’m sorry. I kept… pretending to be a clueless child.”
It was a cowardly confession of my true feelings.
The duchess only held me tighter.
“There’s nothing for you to apologize for. If anything, it’s our fault for putting you in that position.”
“……”
“We were selfish. Both you and Raizen… you grew up too fast. We wanted to keep you sheltered in our arms, away from the harsh, cold eyes of the world. It was selfish of us to think that way when we couldn’t even protect you properly…”
Grief, guilt, regret, and sympathy—all those emotions were woven into her voice.
She gently ran a slow hand over my back.
“It’s okay. You don’t deserve to be scolded, and you certainly shouldn’t feel guilty.”
Her soft voice caressed me with such warmth that my eyes stung.
If I let myself cry here, I’d truly have no face left to show them.
Blinking quickly, I cautiously lifted my head.
The duchess smiled, as if to reassure me, then exchanged a glance with the duke.
After a brief nod, she turned back to me.
“…Yes. That’s right.”
It seemed difficult for her to say the next words.
“There was a carriage accident. A sudden landslide… and the carriage fell. You and your parents were inside. Your parents….”
She bit down on her lower lip before continuing.
“I don’t even know if I should be saying this.”
“…Please. I want to hear it.”
With a faint smile, the duchess reached out and gently stroked my hair.
“I used every last bit of my strength to teleport you to safety. Of course, I had to make sure you weren’t discovered, which is why the place was rundown and there wasn’t much food… But that was because we firmly believed we would find you.”
“……”
“So please… don’t ever blame yourself, thinking you were the only one lucky enough to survive that accident. Your parents’ deaths were never your fault. What they wanted most was for you to live.”
“……I see…….”
What kind of people were the Marquis and Marchioness of Kreveta?
One thing was certain—they loved Sean deeply.
The fleeting thought that they might have neglected the real Sean for even a moment now felt undeserved and guilt-inducing.
A flood of thoughts and emotions surged all at once, like a crashing waterfall.
Most of them stemmed from envy toward the real Sean and the guilt of occupying his body.
Instead of letting those emotions sweep me away, I clenched my eyes shut for a moment before speaking the words I needed to say.
“But… I don’t remember. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t…”
“It’s okay if you never remember, Sei. What your parents wanted—what we all want—is for you to be happy. That’s all.”
‘Haha.’
I swallowed back a bitter laugh.
‘Am I… even allowed to be happy?’
Even if it wasn’t intentional, I had taken someone else’s place.
I was living a life that rightfully belonged to the real Sean, deceiving these people in the process.
‘And I’m not even a good person.’
I didn’t know why I kept getting caught up in the fact that I wasn’t the real Sean.
At the same time, I couldn’t help but feel uneasy that things weren’t following the novel’s original storyline.
‘So much has already changed from the moment I was possessed.’
And my ultimate goal—escaping death—was completely at odds with the novel’s central premise.
In the end, I couldn’t hold back my tears.
The duchess gently wiped them away without a word.
At first, her warmth had felt foreign, but at some point, I had grown used to it.
‘Ah, I see.’
I was… afraid.
Afraid that, if they ever realized I wasn’t really Sean, they would turn their backs on me.
‘Losing this warmth… that’s what I was afraid of.’
Just like how my brother had suddenly disappeared one day.
Like how I might lose the happiness I had barely managed to grasp.
“…Am I… allowed to be happy?”
I forced the words out, as if squeezing out the last of my strength.
The answer came immediately.
“Everyone has the right to be happy. And… I don’t think that’s something you need permission for.”
“……”
“So instead of questioning whether you deserve it, why not think about how you can be happy?”
I wanted to lean into her words, shamelessly.
“…Yes. I’ll try.”
* * *
why did this turn into a wholesome childcare fantasy for a second 😢