* * *
He already had an excuse prepared. It was the closest to the truth he could manage, with the least amount of lies mixed in.
“I had to step out for a bit while wearing the bracelet, and I think that’s when Seol hatched and the collision happened. Since magic and divine power aren’t really forces that share the same nature…”
Magic and aura were similar in that they both relied on magical energy, but divine power belonged to an entirely different category of force.
In a world where true divine power had long ceased to exist, the exact effects of a clash between magic and divine power remained unclear.
Some claimed the two were polar opposites.
Others debated which was the superior or inferior force, opinions all over the place.
Still, regardless of the nature of their relationship, one thing was certain: the stronger force would always prevail.
‘But…’
There were too many holes in his explanation.
Why had he needed to go out while wearing the bracelet in the first place?
And if divine and magical power had clashed, then Seol’s hatching alone couldn’t explain it.
Even so, that was the best he could offer.
He couldn’t bring himself to admit that Kim Minsoo had shown up, that they’d gone out together, and that the man had swung a sword at him just to confirm he was a possessed soul.
‘Would he ask, “Why did you go out with Karon Luavis knowing what kind of person he is?”’
He was afraid Raizen would say that.
And yet, part of him also hoped he would ask.
He knew how immature that desire was.
It’s hard to stay grounded.
To share true love… he still didn’t understand what love really was or how to go about it.
Sometimes, he even doubted whether he was truly the answer Raizen had been looking for.
“……”
Raizen said nothing.
The silence made his mouth go dry.
He wondered if he should explain again, properly this time.
He was just about to speak, unable to bear the tension any longer—
“I see.”
A hollow voice brushed against his ear.
“…What?”
He replied instinctively, startled.
Raizen smiled, as if the expression had been drawn on his face.
It felt like a very thin mask.
Just like back in the duchess’s room.
No—perhaps even before that.
Back when he’d shattered the teacup.
When Raizen had expressed his desire to become engaged to him.
At first, it had seemed like a genuine smile.
But the more he saw it repeated, the more it felt like something was blocking him from reaching the other’s emotions.
As if Raizen was hiding his true feelings behind that smile.
‘Why…’
‘Why are you smiling like that?’
He wanted to ask, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“I’ll take this and recharge the magic for you.”
“Huh? Ah, okay.”
Raizen casually picked up the bracelet from his hand.
As he watched in a daze, he quickly snapped out of it.
“Then I’ll head up first. I’m a little tired today.”
“Yeah? Get some rest, Sei.”
A clean, emotionless reply.
He nodded and fled from Raizen’s room.
∗ ∗ ∗
It felt like the path he’d been walking on had suddenly caved in.
Or maybe it was like realizing too late that the ‘safe road’ had actually been a rope bridge all along.
As if everything from the beginning had just been a delusion.
[Hey.]
“……”
[HEY!!]
A loud voice echoed in his head, snapping him out of his thoughts.
He looked around and saw Seol right beside him.
“S-sorry. Did you call me? What is it?”
He asked in a panic.
Seol tilted his head slightly, then gently pressed his paw against Sei’s forearm.
[Something wrong? Why are you so out of it?]
The answer came out reflexively.
“No. Nothing happened.”
[Really?]
Seol narrowed his eyes.
The look and tone were laced with deep distrust.
Not suspicion—he knew Sei was lying.
And yet, his gaze wasn’t accusatory—it was full of concern.
Seeing those eyes, Raizen’s face came to mind vividly.
That face, behind the thin mask.
Smiling, yet unreadable.
‘Has Raizen ever looked at me with eyes like those?’
Seol’s eyes were like his grandfather’s.
Similar to the duke and duchess’s as well.
But from Raizen… he couldn’t recall seeing that kind of gaze.
‘Shouldn’t he have asked… what happened?’
If Raizen had even the slightest affection for him, wouldn’t he be curious why the bracelet’s magic had activated?
Raizen, who had made the bracelet himself, would understand its mechanism better than anyone.
Or… had he held back because he sensed Sei wanted to hide something?
“…I don’t know.”
[Don’t know what?]
“Just…”
He swallowed.
“I was so sure everything was going well. But now, it’s starting to feel like it was all just my imagination. I thought, even if Raizen didn’t feel exactly the same way… that at least he liked me. That we were making progress… But now… I’m not so sure.”
Seol let out a small snort through his nose.
[He hasn’t confessed, has he?]
“Confessed?”
Confession?
That didn’t feel like the stage they were at yet.
Sei shook his head, and Seol jumped up in place.
[Seriously?! He really hasn’t?!]
Seol must’ve already had a hunch, but even so, he looked absolutely shocked.
“Well, we’re not exactly at that point…”
[Are you stupid?! The engagement thing, too—he just tossed it out there like a casual announcement and steamrolled it!]
How did Seol know all that when he hadn’t even been there?
Sei nodded like someone entranced.
[I knew something was off! You started acting weird ever since that engagement mess!]
Had he? Even he hadn’t realized it.
“But I didn’t confess either. I mean, I didn’t…”
Though he’d shown it—too obviously, in fact.
Especially when he shattered the teacup the moment the engagement was brought up.
“If that counts, then Raizen did kiss me first…”
[Hey.]
Seol’s brilliant golden eyes locked onto him.
[Do you trust that guy?]
“……”
He couldn’t answer.
If it was a simple yes or no, then the answer was no.
He didn’t trust him.
And yet, hadn’t he resolved to try?
He’d even told his grandfather that.
“But dear… if at any point you feel that something’s wrong, will you promise to contact me right away? No matter what choice you make, never forget—I’m always on your side.”
Why did those words come to mind now?
His grandfather had nodded reluctantly when Sei had said Raizen was changing, that he believed he would continue to change.
But just before leaving, his grandfather had grabbed his hand and said:
“Don’t let anything tie you down. What matters most… is your heart. What matters is that your heart doesn’t get hurt.”
The most important thing… was not letting his heart get hurt.
“I…”
He couldn’t trust Raizen yet.
But he believed they were in the process of building that trust.
And feeling anxious during that process—it couldn’t be helped.
“……”
But really… ‘Is it something that can’t be helped?’
“I feel like something’s going wrong.”
At first, I thought it was just because I had never decided to trust someone before.
But whenever I saw Raizen, that anxiety would vanish.
Because Raizen, right in front of me, was kind.
Because he kissed me.
Because he wanted to be engaged to me…
But still, something felt off.
That much was clear.
Raizen looked at everything as if it had nothing to do with him.
To be exact, it felt like no matter how things turned out, as long as he could be engaged to me, nothing else mattered to him.
‘No matter what I suggest, it feels like he’d just go along with it.’
And that was actually happening.
“I’ve started to notice it, little by little. But… I was too scared to ask, so I avoided it.”
Sometimes, I wondered—maybe it’s fine like this.
After all, I was going to be engaged to Raizen.
Maybe even married.
If Raizen wasn’t going to love anyone anyway, then wouldn’t it be enough that he gave that place beside him to me?
‘…No.’
That wouldn’t be right.
Not even for the sake of the people who truly cared about me.
But…
If Raizen’s feelings still came from needing me, if he had sensed my emotions and was just using them to tie me down—
‘Then… I don’t think I could bear it.’
[If you don’t face it and ask him directly—if you just keep running—you’ll always feel anxious.]
Seol’s words pierced deeply into my heart.
“…But what if I ask and get the answer I don’t want? What then?”
[Then what else?]
Seol’s voice was firm.
[Then you have to choose, too. What you want to do next.]
* * *
