* * *
“The only thing that matters to Roilnia is that he is there. But don’t worry—I’m not trying to pressure you into persuading him. I just wanted to share my thoughts. If I thought persuading you would do the trick, I’d have arranged this meeting first. This is just… a chance to ask you for a favor, perhaps.”
Something about all of this had felt off from the beginning.
It wasn’t just the situation—it was the way Hoaphilen spoke.
Her words struck like sparks—flint grating against steel—each collision throwing off embers.
And eventually, those embers would burst into flame.
She abruptly changed the subject with a casual tone, flashing Ben a harmless smile as he frowned in confusion.
“Irregular Guides are the only salvation for Espers. But when that salvation goes wrong, it becomes the greatest tragedy. I’ve seen what happens when an Esper and an Irregular Guide are utterly incompatible. That’s why I asked to see you. I hope you and Haimar can maintain a good relationship. That’s all.”
‘So… don’t fight and get along? Is that what she means?’
Taken simply, that seemed to be the gist.
But something about it didn’t sit right.
Why would she be the one saying that?
The question briefly crossed his mind—then vanished.
But its absence only made space for another.
What was she really trying to say?
When Ben didn’t offer either agreement or denial, Hoaphilen removed the well-steeped teabag and placed it beside her cup.
“Right now, things seem… balanced. Give and take. A decent level of trust and familiarity—just the right amount.”
Crack.
This time, the spark caught.
Even someone oblivious would’ve picked up on the hostile tone in those words.
“…What do you mean by that?”
“Exactly what I said.”
‘No, I mean—I don’t understand the meaning behind it.’
“A man like Haimar—who’s cold, unfeeling, emotionally dull… Love? Friendship? Those are luxuries he can’t afford.”
“How can you be so certain?”
Ben didn’t mean that the words just spoken were entirely out of place, but they were far too careless.
Because the truth was—his relationship with Haimar had changed, and even the feelings he held inside himself were evolving.
But those words just now had denied the possibility of any further change.
Ben didn’t bother hiding his displeasure.
“I understand that what I’m saying might sound disrespectful, but it’s a little uncomfortable to hear such comments from someone who doesn’t really know the situation.”
“Don’t know the situation? Hmm. Haven’t I known Haimar longer than you have? The Haimar Eilec I know is the kind of man who can ruthlessly discard someone once he loses interest or finds them unnecessary. Or do you think you’re somehow different?”
Ah, there it was again—that same feeling as before.
Like a tangled ball of yarn unraveling in his head.
It reminded him of how he felt when he first heard that Ellyn had almost become Haimar’s previous guide.
But this time, the discomfort was stickier, heavier.
Hoaphilen, sitting across from him, seemed like someone who had made up her mind to fan the flame she’d just sparked, without any intention of holding back.
“Maybe you are different. After all, you are Haimar’s guide. That’s exactly why I’m telling you this—keeping a healthy distance is very important.”
But what exactly was that “healthy distance”?
Surely she knew that emotional distance couldn’t be measured with a ruler.
Hoaphilen’s words carried the clear implication that she didn’t want them getting any closer—or farther apart.
Just stay as you are.
Just like this.
No more, no less.
Ben wondered—if she was this concerned about his relationship with Haimar, was it because she wanted something from him?
Was she that desperate to keep Haimar around?
It was obvious why she needed Haimar: because of Roilnia.
But Ben was tired of this.
He agreed that Roilnia was a common enemy—but not at the cost of his personal relationship being dictated.
Whether he and Haimar grew closer or not wasn’t something Hoaphilen got to decide.
To be completely honest, Ben Plaskun wanted to be closer to Haimar Eilec.
He wanted to share more feelings with him, to be someone Haimar could open up to.
So there was no reason for him to listen to this nonsense.
Honestly, it would’ve been easier to take if she had just come at him directly instead of wrapping her words up in all this implication.
“Relationships are dynamic. It’s not something others can interfere with. And if I get closer to Haimar, wouldn’t that be a benefit for you, Director?”
“That’s exactly the kind of thinking I’m trying to correct, Ben. You’re a very lucky irregular, which is why I need to make this clear.”
She let out a sigh, pressing her hand to her chest.
Her gesture carried an air of regret, and her half-lidded eyes were full of pity.
“You think his kindness is affection? That you’re managing him well? Not even close. It’s just that you’re the only one available, and he can’t afford to lose you. As long as Haimar needs to maintain himself and believes he needs you, you’ll continue to be useful—as a guide.”
But the corner of her lips twisted, almost as if she were mocking him.
“If it had been anyone else in your place, it would’ve been the same.”
‘Don’t think you’re special. You’re nothing more than this.’
Her voice was like a hammer nailing down the truth.
Ben found himself letting out a dry laugh.
The tea before him had deepened in color, like it had passed its prime—and it perfectly captured his mood.
“Useful as a guide,” huh…
Her logic spoke only of his function as a guide, with no regard whatsoever for Ben Plaskun as a person.
In her eyes, he was just one of many—nothing more than a lucky anomaly.
If it hadn’t been him, someone else would’ve built the same connection with Haimar.
So who did he think he was, daring to say otherwise?
“…So basically, you’re telling me to know my place.”
Even as he said it himself, it hurt—like a weight dropping straight from his chest to his feet.
Ben felt like every tower he had built had just been knocked down.
The trust and relationship he’d painstakingly built with Haimar was dismissed without a second thought. It infuriated him.
Hoaphilen didn’t know anything.
She didn’t know that he and Haimar shared playful kisses.
That Haimar always worried about his injuries.
That—even if in his own mischievous way—Haimar had his own kind of gentleness.
She had no idea.
But was all that just because he was a guide?
Really?
Was it not because he was Ben Plaskun—but because any guide would’ve done?
So if Haimar, as an Esper, ever decided to throw everything away, would he just erase Ben from his life and start over?
Her definition reduced everything to nothing.
But what stung even more was that Ben couldn’t say anything in return.
He couldn’t argue—because he wasn’t sure either.
Maybe Haimar really was only kind to him because he was a guide.
That made it all the more devastating.
“I know I might sound selfish. And call it meddling if you want—but I said what I said for your sake.”
There’s no way words like that could ever be for his sake.
It felt more like being trampled on.
His eyes burned, his head ached.
The wounds beneath his bandages suddenly throbbed as if to remind him they existed.
The sparks she had lit scattered into barbs, stabbing at his chest from every direction.
If this had happened in the past, maybe it wouldn’t have hurt so much.
Back when he hadn’t yet realized his feelings, maybe the relationship as it was would’ve been enough.
“…If you’re done, I’ll be going now.”
“Go ahead. I’ll see you next time.”
Ben forced out his response and stood up, his voice tight with restraint.
Hoaphilen gave a short nod, then silently watched him leave—his shoulders noticeably more slumped than when he’d arrived.
She wouldn’t deny it—she had pushed him hard on purpose.
But from her perspective, Haimar was a card she couldn’t afford to lose.
The one cheat key that could complete this revenge.
Especially now—with two of his limiters removed—he might be the only one capable of driving Roilnia into a corner.
If Haimar wouldn’t willingly cooperate, then all she had to do was create a situation that would force him to.
And to keep things from spiraling, the variable known as the “guide” had to be controlled as tightly as possible.
All she’d done was lay out reality.
A “just enough” relationship wasn’t so bad.
She had only offered advice: Don’t get deluded.
Whatever Ben felt—it was none of her business.
She had no intention of letting him screw things up by getting too close and destabilizing Haimar’s guiding.
Her recommendation had been fair—for both of them.
At least until the day Roilnia Lanilgraph was wiped off the face of this world.
After that woman met her end, what happened between the two of them didn’t concern her in the slightest.
* * *
