* * *
At my reaction, Divine Beast’s ears drooped.
[So you still can’t hear it……]
He said “still.”
That meant, in other words, that there was a possibility I might recall the name someday.
‘Come to think of it…….’
Even when I went to retrieve Divine Beast’s egg, I had an experience where hazy memories started returning.
If that was the case, did it mean I could regain my memories whenever a similar event occurred?
‘But…….’
Did I really need to find them?
After all, this was the world where I truly belonged.
My real name was Sean Kreveta.
Even the hyung I had longed for was here.
Though I was the only one who remembered our time together, I no longer wished for Raizen to recover his memories of Korea.
‘Because I always showed him my weakest side.’
Experiencing kindness and happiness for the first time, I had acted like such a child.
I had been wary and suspicious at first, but at some point, I began to rely on him too much.
I never showed it outwardly, but deep down, he must have found it exhausting.
So, I thought it wouldn’t matter if I counted my time in Korea as nonexistent.
The good memories were so few that I could count them on one hand.
“……Do I really have to remember it? Would something happen if I don’t……?”
More than the act of regaining my memories, something else was bothering me.
It felt odd to compare it to a game, but what if recalling my name was a necessary step for my growth?
Ever since I visited the chamber where I obtained Divine Beast’s egg, I could feel the quality of my divine power had changed.
‘It could be something crucial for preparing for what’s to come.’
Divine Beast didn’t say anything.
He just stared at me with his large golden eyes.
Maybe because they were as bright and pure as molten gold, I felt an inexplicable urge to avoid his gaze.
‘And the fact that he knows more about me than I expected.’
What exactly are you?
This creature, who seemed to have fallen from the sky, was causing me all sorts of trouble lately.
[I can’t tell you that.]
It seemed there was something I, as a mere human, wasn’t meant to know.
Since I had already faced similar situations when talking with Noah, I wasn’t particularly frustrated or annoyed.
I nodded indifferently, and Divine Beast let out a small sigh.
[It’s just, just important. Names are like that.]
“……Yeah.”
Without a name, an existence might as well not exist.
But even if a name exists, isn’t it more important how it’s called and who calls it? “Hey, you,” “this bastard”—I had been called things like that more often than my actual name.
As if he had read my thoughts, Divine Beast still looked dispirited.
Seeing him more upset about my past than I was made me feel an indescribable mix of emotions.
It was awkward, made me want to run away, to look away……
A cruel part of me even wanted to shout that I was fine, that he didn’t need to pity me.
‘Even though I know this isn’t pity.’
To lighten the mood, I reached out and gently scratched under his chin.
Despite still looking upset, he slightly lifted his chin, as if to say he would still accept the gesture.
I chuckled and softly patted his head as well.
“By the way, I thought of a name for you. Want to hear it?”
[Really?!]
Divine Beast jumped excitedly. His previously sullen expression brightened instantly.
“How about ‘Seol (snow)’? It’s a word that doesn’t exist here but was used in the place I was before. It means……”
As I explained, a single tear suddenly trickled down from his golden eyes.
“……? Are you crying?”
Startled, I asked, but he didn’t answer—he just kept shedding silent tears before suddenly throwing himself into my arms.
[I love it so much.]
“Oh, really?”
Was he crying because he liked it?
It didn’t seem like it was just that, but it was hard to ask more.
Instead of questioning him, I simply stroked his back as he clung to me.
Small, soft, warm.
Unpredictable at times—no, more often than I expected.
He knew more about me than I did myself, which was overwhelming at times.
But ever since he came into my life, my days had changed.
It was as if a new color had been added.
‘At least, I’ve been so preoccupied that I haven’t had time to dwell on other thoughts.’
Without Divine Beast—no, without Seol—I would probably be buried under endless worries and negative thoughts by now.
Kim Minsoo was one thing, but Raizen had been away on an expedition for nearly a month without a single letter.
I had only received reports through the Duchess that he was uninjured and safe.
I considered sending him a letter myself.
But when I held the pen, my mind went blank.
Even after filtering out emotions I couldn’t easily express, I was left with barely anything to say.
“Are you doing well? I’m doing fine. Take care of yourself.”
It felt too trivial to send in a formal letter.
In the end, I simply had the Duchess include my message in her regular correspondence with the expedition team.
‘But I thought he’d at least send a reply.’
Was I expecting too much without doing anything in return?
But wasn’t it Raizen who had come up with the idea to send a rabbit messenger at midnight on my birthday?
‘I…….’
I couldn’t sleep well at night.
Partly because I worried about Raizen, but mostly because memories of his actions—things I had dismissed before—kept resurfacing.
Back then, I hadn’t fully absorbed their significance, but now they carried a completely different meaning.
The rabbit messenger, teleporting from the academy just to see me, tracking me down at the cabin when I was avoiding him…….
I had written it off as mere possessiveness.
But looking back, it felt different.
‘Was it really just possessiveness?’
As I considered the possibilities, my expectations only grew.
‘Maybe…… I should send him a personal letter.’
With that thought, I hugged Seol tightly.
That night, I picked up my pen again—only to put it down once more without writing a single word.
The next day, I received news that the expedition had returned.
∗ ∗ ∗
My heart pounded as if it might burst.
Even though I told myself to stay calm, my steps quickened until, before I knew it, I was running.
I thought I heard Mila calling out to me from behind, but I couldn’t stop.
Because Raizen had returned.
I arrived at the lobby in no time.
The Duchess had arrived before me and greeted me with a warm smile.
“Come in, Sean.”
“Yes……!”
I should have greeted her properly, but I couldn’t.
If I opened my mouth, I felt like my heart might leap out.
Soon, the doors to the main hall slowly opened.
A gust of wind, softened by the changing seasons, swept in.
Following the Duchess, I stepped outside.
Behind us, the retainers and servants followed.
How far did we walk?
At last, the towering castle gates came into view.
As the Duchess gave a nod, the gates gradually swung open.
And then, in the distance, a group of riders came into sight.
Moving at a slow pace, they steadily approached.
I fixed my gaze on them.
As they drew closer, I saw them more clearly.
At the forefront were Duke Pantheon and Raizen.
‘Thank goodness, he looks fine.’
Though I couldn’t be completely certain without seeing him up close, Raizen didn’t seem to have any major injuries.
I let out a breath of relief as I watched the procession draw near.
Eventually, they came to a stop right before us.
At the Duke’s signal, the riders dismounted in unison.
The Duke, with Raizen beside him, walked toward us.
“You’ve worked hard.”
As soon as the Duchess finished speaking, Duke Pantheon pulled her into an embrace.
I seemed to be the only one surprised by the sudden hug.
Glancing around, I saw that everyone else was simply smiling warmly.
The Duchess, too, smiled gently as she patted the Duke’s back.
“Thank you for coming back safely.”
“Of course I had to.”
Watching them, I was once again reminded of how deeply they loved each other.
After finishing his greeting with the Duchess, the Duke turned his gaze toward me.
“You… you’re back.”
“Yes.”
My awkward words made Duke Pantheon smile faintly.
“Rai.”
The Duchess opened her arms toward Raizen.
Without hesitation, he stepped forward and embraced his mother.
“Thank you for coming back safely.”
“I’m home.”
It must have been his first subjugation mission, yet there wasn’t a trace of exhaustion on his face.
At the same time, he didn’t seem particularly proud or accomplished either.
He was just the same as always.
‘Or… maybe a little calmer?’
I stole glances at him, but then, suddenly, our eyes met.
My heart nearly jumped out of my chest.
Instinctively, I looked away and mumbled,
“Welcome back, hyung.”
“Mm, Sei.”
His steady, slightly deep voice sent a soft, rhythmic knock against my heart.
* * *
