Quietly Hiding that I am a Man chapter 146- Fake Play

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A bloodcurdling screech pierced the air.

Carlisle stared blankly at Jeanne’s retreating back, a hollow laugh escaping his lips.

While everyone else fled from the monster, Jeanne was once again running toward it.

“So, you’re going there after all.”

Carlisle held onto the faint warmth lingering in his hand.

No matter how he tried to instill fear, Jeanne’s unwavering violet eyes haunted his thoughts.

As if drawn by Mephisto’s call, the demons turned on the fleeing mercenaries, tearing into their throats.

Luke, still on horseback, slashed at the demons with precision, shouting urgently.

“Lord Carlisle! Above you!”

Without even looking, Carlisle swung his sword, cleanly slicing the demon in half.

It crashed to the ground with a thud, convulsing.

Luke dismounted and approached Carlisle, pulling out a handkerchief to offer him.

His voice was calm.

“There are too many demons here. You should retreat for now. They’ll keep coming until Mephisto is subdued.”

Carlisle accepted the handkerchief, wiping the demon’s blood from his face.

He glanced up at the sky, where demons swarmed low in response to Mephisto’s call.

Dropping the bloodied cloth, Carlisle rolled his shoulders, loosening his body.

“No. If I leave, that boy will be in danger.”

Luke’s expression hardened noticeably at Carlisle’s words.

After a moment of hesitation, he spoke cautiously.

“I know why you’re concerned about Jeanne. It’s because of your guilt over Jerome. But Jerome’s condition isn’t your fault, Lord Carlisle.”

“I used to think that too—that it was just guilt. But I realized just now that’s not the reason.”

Luke’s eyes widened in surprise.

Carlisle let out a long sigh before continuing.

“Luke, all my life, I’ve never wanted anything. Anything I desired, I already had.”

Growing up amidst the blood-soaked intrigues of the imperial court, Carlisle had learned early on that anything precious could become a weakness.

He avoided forming attachments, blending into the background and suppressing his desires.

But now, a meaningful confession escaped his lips.

“For the first time, I want something.”

As Carlisle revealed his desire for the first time, Luke felt as though the carefully built fortress around him was crumbling.

Carlisle casually sliced through an approaching demon, his tone light yet filled with resolve.

“Even if I have to force it, I want to make it mine.”

✽ ✽ ✽

The terrified mercenaries threw down their weapons and fled, and the animals, sensing the danger, scattered in droves.

Jeanne’s gaze wavered as she watched the scene unfold.

Jerome, in his current state, was a living calamity—a being feared and abhorred by all life.

‘But my soul tells me he’s still in there. Jerome is still in there.’

The creature, now completely unleashed from the artifact, slowly rose from where it had been submerged by the lakeshore.

It let out a ferocious roar, shaking the ground beneath it. Jeanne stood her ground, watching the monster approach her.

‘You should run like the others, Maya.’

The grass crushed beneath the monster’s feet turned to black ash, crumbling instantly.

Even with death looming so close, Jeanne felt no fear.

The howling wind couldn’t disturb the eerie calm in her heart.

‘Nothing will change. There’s no world you can save.’

Mephisto’s malice seeped into her skin, and she felt it blacken and decay.

Despite the searing pain making her head spin, she didn’t waver, waiting as the monster drew closer.

The beast, now mere inches away, reached out with claws gleaming menacingly under the light.

“Jerome, if you’re in there, listen to me.”

The stench of burning flesh emanated from the creature, and a sticky, black substance oozed to Jeanne’s feet.

Holding back her nausea, Jeanne spoke with difficulty, pouring out her heart.

“You told me, didn’t you? That I shouldn’t sacrifice myself for you. That you weren’t worth it.”

The beast’s extended claw faltered, freezing mid-motion.

Jeanne grasped the monster’s thumb with unwavering resolve.

Her pale, delicate hand contrasted sharply with the massive, grotesque claw.

“That hurt me. Because to me, you’re precious.”

As Jeanne, who was now succumbing to the corruption, coughed up black blood, her voice trembled but didn’t falter.

“At some point, the things I chased after weren’t honor, wealth, or even life anymore.”

She took a deep breath and pressed her flushed cheek against the beast’s paw.

Startled by the faint yet familiar warmth, the monster flinched and took a step back.

Jeanne, her lips curling into a faint smile, spoke again.

“I was chasing after you all along.”

The beast’s eyes quivered as it looked at her.

It toppled backward with a loud crash, letting out a frightened whimper.

Trembling violently, it wrapped its massive arms around its head and curled into a ball.

‘Don’t. Just leave me alone.’

Its once-menacing voice now sounded like that of a frightened child.

Jeanne realized that perhaps this, too, was one of Jerome’s many facets.

The creature twisted its body, shaking its head desperately.

‘Don’t make me know loneliness…’

Jeanne stumbled toward the monster, her trembling hand reaching out.

Gently, she stroked the coarse fur.

He had been abandoned, despised, and left to die in the cold darkness of a prison cell.

Once a hero of the empire, now a pitiable soul too terrified to love because he had known the pain of loneliness.

“Even when you couldn’t love yourself…”

Jeanne’s legs gave out, and she slumped to the ground, leaning her head against the creature’s massive body.

Her face was pale, her breathing shallow.

Jeanne thought this might truly be the last time she saw Jerome.

If so, she had to say it, every word from the depths of her heart.

“I love you.”

Her words lingered in the air as she slowly closed her eyes.

Silence followed until a large hand gently rested on her shoulder.

Jerome, back in his original form, looked down at her impassively.

He couldn’t shake the image of Jeanne, the only one who ran toward him when everyone else fled.

“Really?”

“…”

“Do you really love me?”

His voice was flat, devoid of emotion. Jeanne, her nails blackened by corruption, looked no different from a lifeless corpse.

Jerome reached for her brittle hair, which crumbled like dry sand in his grasp.

He muttered, almost entranced.

“Your body is so cold… Why? That shouldn’t be. I’m holding you tightly…”

Jerome froze, his face pressed against her slackened frame.

Jeanne, who would normally complain and push him away, said nothing.

He broke the silence with a radiant smile.

“I’m irresponsible, fickle, and awful, yet you still loved me. You didn’t run away when everyone else did. You embraced me warmly.”

His parched lips trembled as if to form words.

“What would I do if you died?”

The smile faded from Jerome’s face.

His hands, clutching Jeanne’s back, trembled.

A profound terror gripped him, as if he were wandering alone in an endless abyss.

“What am I supposed to live for now?”

He recalled countless hands—his mother’s dismissive push, his father’s blows for failure, the hands of comrades dying in blood, and the hands he himself had severed.

Among all those, there had been one hand that reached out to him, soft and warm, as if to say he was worthy of love.

Jerome intertwined his fingers with hers.

A soft sigh escaped him as realization dawned.

“Now I understand.”

Jerome cradled Jeanne and buried his face in her pale neck.

Her scent reminded him of wet daffodils, a fragrance he had always adored.

Lost in it, he murmured words that surprised even himself.

“I love you.”

He stiffened, startled, and glanced around as if fearing judgment before looking at Jeanne’s face again.

Her long lashes, sealed lips, and delicate nose—every feature was irresistibly beautiful.

She was someone destined to be loved.

Anyone, not just him, would have fallen for her.

His past self, who mocked eternal love, now seemed pitiful.

The love he had wandered his whole life searching for had always been here, in his arms.

“I think I understand what love is now.”

The tight sensation in his chest made him wince.

It was a discomfort he’d never felt, but it blossomed into an unfamiliar tenderness.

“I’ll give you everything. As much as you want from now on…”

Jerome’s expression turned pale as he touched Jeanne’s unresponsive body.

He had known all along—Jeanne had stopped breathing some time ago.

Gasping, Jerome clung to Jeanne’s still form.

After a long silence, his voice broke softly.

“Please don’t leave me.”

Jeanne’s cold, lifeless body spoke of an eternal farewell.

Jerome held him tightly, as if clinging to a crumbling world.

His heart felt like it was collapsing entirely.

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