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He’s the kind of person who always smiles and never refuses when asked for help.
I lay in bed, but I couldn’t sleep with so many thoughts racing through my mind.
I hesitated about whether to tell Kim Chanyi about Park Jungsoo.
He might want to avoid the topic altogether.
But if he gets bullied again, I’ll need to help him…
Hours passed as I struggled to figure out how to help Kim Chanyi.
My eyes were still wide open. It was past three in the morning.
I fiddled with my phone. It was the first time in months that I was apart from Kim Chanyi.
He must be asleep by now.
Kim Chanyi-
Before I knew it, I sent a KakaoTalk message to Kim Chanyi. I knew I wouldn’t get a reply until the morning, but I just wanted to call his name.
-Hey
But unexpectedly, he replied right away. I almost dropped my phone in surprise.
Why aren’t you sleeping?
Just couldn’t fall asleep-
I imagined Kim Chanyi, who was two hours away from me.
Was he feeling awkward being alone at home?
Had he been tossing and turning?
What thoughts were going through his mind in the dark?
Did he think of me too? I did.
Before I knew it, my finger pressed the call button.
I couldn’t resist the urge to hear Kim Chanyi’s voice.
I pulled the blanket over my head and held my breath.
After one ring, I heard Kim Chanyi’s voice on the phone.
– Kim Hyunoh?
“……”
– Kim Hyunoh.
Kim Chanyi called me very tenderly.
Even though I’d called abruptly,
I hadn’t decided what to say.
Should I just say I called by mistake?
As usual, I hesitated.
Avoiding.
Running away.
Using vague language because I was reluctant to reveal my true feelings.
Sometimes even lying.
– Kim Hyunoh. What’s wrong? Hm?
But for some reason, today, I didn’t want to do that with you.
“You…”
– Yeah?
“Why don’t you ask anything?”
I barely opened my mouth.
Once I started, it was easier to continue.
“Aren’t you curious where I went, why I went, or when I’ll come back?”
There was a brief silence between us.
After a while, Kim Chanyi replied.
– I’m curious.
I buried my face in the bed.
You’d probably hear my muffled voice, but I couldn’t help it.
My eyes were stinging unbearably.
“Aren’t you curious why I’m suddenly living like this? How about that? Are you curious about that too?”
– …….
“You heard from Park Jungsoo, didn’t you?”
I heard Kim Chanyi exhale softly.
“Why did you pretend not to know?”
– I was waiting for you to tell me.
“……”
– Until you felt like talking.
I suddenly felt like crying.
I wondered what expression Kim Chanyi had.
My expression was probably too ugly to show anyone.
My face was so tense that my jaw hurt.
Not that controlling my emotions would change anything.
For the first time in five years, I felt an impulse to open up.
It felt okay to talk to Kim Chanyi.
Maybe I had been waiting for someone who would say such things.
Someone who wouldn’t look at my misfortune with curiosity, who wouldn’t pry, who wouldn’t pity me, who would patiently wait as if nothing had happened.
My chest ached. I had so much to say, but no words came out.
Since when did your presence become so significant to me?
I may not know when it started, but I finally realized it.
Over the past few months, I’ve grown incredibly used to you, and I feel overwhelmed without you even for a day.
How does Kim Chanyi make me feel so comfortable so easily?
He vanquishes all the pain piled up inside me, like magic.
“Kim Chanyi.”
I softly called his name.
– Yes?
Suppressing my bad habits, I thought about what my true feelings were.
There was one thing I was sure of.
I wanted to see Kim Chanyi right now.
“I’m in Seoul. At my aunt’s house.”
– I see.
“But…”
I lifted my head from the blanket and spoke a little louder than before.
“But I can’t sleep.”
– Are you uncomfortable?
“Yeah. I don’t like it here.”
My voice trembled weirdly as I held back tears.
Kim Chanyi would know something was wrong with me.
He’s always so perceptive.
“I don’t want to be here…”
– Kim Hyunoh. Should I come over now?
Kim Chanyi offered.
He picked the option I secretly wanted.
He casually said he’d come two hours away at this time.
I knew he wasn’t lying. Kim Chanyi never lied to me.
He always figured out what I wanted and gently put it in front of me.
He made difficult things seem easy every time.
So, there was no way I could refuse him.
“…Yeah. Come over.”
– I’ll be there.
Tears finally welled up in my eyes.
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