* * *
The image of Kim Chanyi’s face, heated from masturbating, came to mind.
It was a look I had seen countless times recently.
Eyes getting wet with excitement.
He must be looking at me with those eyes now.
The more I thought about it, the more clearly I felt his gaze.
Kim Chanyi’s eyes were scanning the back of my neck.
My body started to heat up.
Even though Kim Chanyi was doing it alone, it felt like we were masturbating together.
My mouth was already watering. I swallowed.
My lower abdomen tingled.
This was strange.
Something must be wrong with my body.
I closed my eyes tightly and opened them again.
I shook my head vigorously and tried to read the news article again.
What was it about?
“Hyunoh.” Oh, stars…
“Ah, you startled me.”
Kim Chanyi’s wet voice came from right behind me.
Closer than I had thought.
His hot breath touched the back of my neck. I hunched my shoulders.
“It’s red.”
“What?”
“Your neck. It’s really red.”
Kim Chanyi’s lips were almost touching the back of my neck.
“I told you not to touch me.”
“…I want to kiss your neck. Can’t I?”
Kim Chanyi seemed to be on the verge of tears.
His voice was trembling, filled with breath.
“Really can’t?”
When Kim Chanyi was excited, he was a bit different from usual.
Once he fixated on something, he wouldn’t give up easily.
Kim Chanyi would keep asking until I wavered.
His breath kept falling on the back of my neck.
My skin tingled. I turned around, shivering, to look at Kim Chanyi.
I tried to push him away by frowning, but the moment our eyes met, my body froze.
Kim Chanyi’s eyes were moist, half crying.
His lips, bitten until now, were red as if he had applied lipstick.
Beautiful.
I admired without realizing it.
Kim Chanyi was the first man I found beautiful.
Kim Chanyi, his forehead touching mine, muttered.
“I think I can finish if we kiss just once…”
“You’re really strange.”
“Sorry.”
Kim Chanyi whispered and kissed the bridge of my nose.
It was ticklish and dizzying.
As I stayed silent, he boldly kissed my face all over.
Cheeks, chin, ears, even eyelids.
I trembled and closed my eyes tightly.
My penis felt like it was going to burst.
Kim Chanyi wasn’t the only one acting strange.
It’s understandable for Kim Chanyi, since he’s always liked me.
The strangest one might be me.
“Ah, ugh.”
Before long, Kim Chanyi climaxed with a short moan, his lips still half on mine.
I slowly opened my eyes.
Kim Chanyi pulled a tissue from the table and wiped his palm.
However, the size of his penis remained unchanged.
“You said we could finish this.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“I’ve been deceived.”
“What do we do now? Are you going to just go back to your room, Hyunoh?”
Kim Chanyi’s eyes seemed to say that things could get better if I stayed out.
I pressed my throbbing forehead with my palm.
As I sighed, Kim Chanyi held my shoulder and looked at me intently.
“Hyunoh, what’s wrong?”
A low, resonant voice wrapped around me.
Kim Chanyi’s fingers gently caressed my shoulder.
Before I knew it, I had become accustomed to him and naturally relaxed my body.
Kim Chanyi really had the power to disarm people.
If you looked directly into his eyes, anyone would trust him deeply within minutes.
I couldn’t imagine him harming me or telling lies.
I even felt it was okay to expose the tender part of my heart to him.
That’s why I ended up like this. Becoming weak and yielding to Kim Chanyi was inevitable.
Kim Chanyi kept touching me and whispered.
His voice wasn’t forceful but carried a strength that was hard to ignore.
“Do you have any worries? Can’t you tell me?”
I lifted my face to meet Kim Chanyi’s gaze.
I felt like I was being sucked into his eyes. Inside there, it would probably be warm and comfortable.
My heart softened.
“I’m scared.”
Before I knew it, the truth slipped out of my mouth.
“Hmm?”
“Ah… never mind.”
As I turned my head sideways, Kim Chanyi grabbed my chin to make me look at him.
“Tell me.”
“…I’m scared. Doing this with you.”
“Did I make you scared?”
“It’s not exactly because of you. Ah, I don’t know.”
“Hyunoh.”
As I tried to change the subject again, Kim Chanyi called my name with a firm voice.
I flinched and licked my dry lips.
Finally, I hesitated and started to speak again.
“It’s just… I wonder what will happen if we keep doing this. This is something people who like each other do. I don’t like you, though…”
As I spoke, I watched Kim Chanyi’s reaction.
Even though I said I didn’t like him, he didn’t flinch.
His expression remained soft.
I was finally asking the question that had been on my mind for a week.
Compared to the fear I had, it wasn’t much.
In fact, I even felt relieved.
Kim Chanyi nodded, as if telling me to say more. I opened my mouth and let my thoughts spill out.
“This isn’t even a friends-with-benefits situation. You like me. Friends with benefits shouldn’t have feelings for each other. But we do. Anyway, I don’t like forming relationships with anyone.”
“I know.”
Kim Chanyi’s answer was so calm that I was momentarily speechless.
“Do as you wish, Hyunoh.”
I ran my palm down my face.
“Kim Chanyi, doesn’t this bother you at all?”
Kim Chanyi tilted his head and smiled gently.
“What? Being in a nothing relationship with you?”
“Yeah.”
“Well. Even if you find someone else, I have no right to say anything. That would be a bit sad, but it’s okay.”
“So, you want to continue like this?”
“Yeah.”
“Why? Why would you do that? Meet another guy. You’re good-looking enough…”
Kim Chanyi firmly grabbed my chin and shook his head. I was worked up and shut my mouth.
Kim Chanyi spoke.
“No.”
It was the first time I’d heard such a firm tone from him.
“Just as it’s your choice not to date me, it’s my choice to keep liking you.”
“……”
“You don’t hate being with me, right?”
I slowly nodded. If he asked if I hated it, the answer was no.
If I really hated it, I would have run out of this house long ago.
Kim Chanyi’s place was comfortable, and Kim Chanyi himself was warm.
The kisses were exciting.
Even though I lived on top of misery and befriended it, I wasn’t strong enough to throw away such comfort.
Kim Chanyi gently massaged the back of my neck, soothing me.
“Then for now, just let me like you. Okay?”
* * *
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