* * *
Seeing my half-hearted reaction, Ateol leaned over the table toward me.
“And there’s one more thing.”
“What?”
“They say if you confess your love under the lanterns, it will come true.”
“…So?”
“Don’t play dumb.”
I let out a breathless laugh and stared at him. He was still smiling that same sly smile.
“A love confession? Who to who?”
“Me to you.”
I was at a loss for words.
“What love do you even have to confess to me?”
“Haha.”
Ateol leaned back in his chair and said,
“That’s a bit hurtful.”
“Hah…”
He seemed to be enjoying teasing me.
I clicked my tongue and ignored him, returning to thinking about what to do for the festival.
Hmm…
“They say the more splendid the lantern, the more luck it brings.”
“True…”
But since they float up into the sky, there’s a limit to how flashy they can be.
Unless… I use magic to decorate them?
Not a bad idea.
Remotely decorating lanterns with magic.
Flashy, magical, and sure to please the crowd.
“Will you be preparing a lantern too?”
Ateol suddenly asked out of nowhere.
“Why would I?”
“I will.”
At that, I looked at him.
This is what I don’t like about Ateol—he has a way of messing with people’s emotions.
What he says sometimes sounds sincere, but I know him well enough to know he could just as easily be joking.
“You’re not seriously thinking I’d assume it’s for someone else, are you?”
“Do I look that dumb?”
Ateol shrugged.
Was that a yes?
Did he just call me dumb?
Tch…
I glared at him with those thoughts in mind.
He raised both hands and laughed.
“Just joking. I’ll personally escort you that day, so it’ll be nice to be together when we release the lanterns.”
See? A joke.
But then again… where did the joke end?
Where did it begin?
I still couldn’t figure him out.
And just like that, he put his cloak back on and stood up.
“What, leaving?”
“It’s late.”
“So you’re just gonna go?”
“Should I not?”
“….”
No, it’s not like that.
While I fumbled for words, Ateol simply left me with a polite farewell and really did leave.
Why did he even come?
Stunned, I just stood there, then collapsed onto the bed.
There was no fear before sleep tonight, but instead, I dreamed.
Maybe it was influenced by how absurd I felt—because the dream itself was strange too.
I was flying lanterns with Ateol.
He watched the lanterns rise into the sky, then turned his gaze to me, looking at me in silence.
His eyes were warm and gentle.
And in a voice just as tender, he whispered to me that the lanterns were beautiful.
And I… I don’t remember how I responded.
Maybe I woke up before I could even answer.
After that strange dream, I spent the day feeling restless.
Ateol, who had been showing up constantly before, didn’t appear at all—even with the Lantern Festival right around the corner.
Because of that, I was able to spend my time rather peacefully.
I did glance toward the door more than a few times, but I was just looking at the door itself—not waiting for Ateol.
The day before the Lantern Festival.
The eve celebration outside the palace was in full swing.
I was sitting by the window, reading a book.
Ateol was probably swamped with festival preparations.
The cool night breeze felt nice, so I’d left the window open.
It was really just by chance that I looked outside.
“……”
And it was also by chance that I saw Ateol standing there.
He was beyond the maze, where the lights floated like stars over water, quietly looking up toward my bedroom window.
If he’d come, he might as well come in—what was he doing just standing there?
And what I did next—I truly have no idea why I did it either.
I set the book down… and jumped out the window.
Even from that distance, I could see the change in Ateol’s expression.
Had I ever seen him so shocked before?
Strangely, it didn’t feel unfamiliar.
Maybe I’d seen it somewhere before, but it didn’t matter.
I fell quickly, and just before I hit the ground, I floated up gently.
At some point, Ateol had reached out his arms.
I had meant to land in front of him, but for some reason, when I blinked, I was in his arms.
“You startled me all over again.”
“Don’t act surprised by something like this now.”
“Well… fair point.”
Ateol adjusted the way he held me.
This was a quiet spot with no guards around.
In the dim twilight, he looked down at me and tilted his head.
Our lips touched. I didn’t pull away.
Even on the eve of the Lantern Festival, there was a small celebration.
While tomorrow’s floating lanterns were for the living, tonight’s ritual was for the dead and the faraway—little paper boats sent down the river.
The water flows all the way to the sea, so it was said that the boats would carry one’s feelings far away—to loved ones, wherever they may be.
Asking the dead if they were doing well.
Calling back those who had left and not returned.
From the hilltop where I stood with Ateol, we could clearly see the river below, where people were setting their boats afloat.
Each one carried a gently flickering candle, drifting slowly with the current.
I glanced at Ateol.
His gaze was unusual.
It wasn’t his usual detached look, nor was it the quiet satisfaction he showed when admiring something beautiful.
The crimson light reflected in his red eyes trembled.
I spoke carefully.
“…Do you…”
Ateol turned to me.
“Is there someone you wish would return?”
“Are you asking me?”
I nodded.
I wasn’t sure why I was curious.
It was just—his eyes, staring at those boats, looked like he wanted to send one down himself.
Why did he have that look?
No—why did I think he looked that way?
“I’m not sure,”
After a long silence, Ateol finally spoke.
“There’s no one I’ve parted from… So why do I still feel like I miss someone?”
“…How should I know.”
My reply came out more curt than I meant, and Ateol quietly smiled.
I couldn’t tell what that smile meant.
Feeling bad for being snippy, I added:
“People are just… lonely for no reason. We miss people who don’t even exist.”
“Is that so?”
Ateol went quiet for a moment, then asked again.
“Are you like that too?”
“I…”
I guess I am.
Maybe it’s because I grew up without a family, but I always thought everyone had a part of them that missed someone who was never really there.
I hesitated, then gave a small nod.
And at that moment, the air shimmered.
From far away, I could hear a nameless street singer’s voice.
The cool breeze, the orange glow of the lanterns reflecting in the river, the gentle moisture in the air that revealed the flow of the water… and Ateol’s eyes quietly watching me.
My cheeks burned.
There are moments when, whether you want to admit it or not, you’re struck by an undeniable realization.
Before I knew it, I turned away.
I clutched my hood and practically rolled down the hill.
Ateol didn’t stop me.
* * *
