Judging you as pitiful because you don’t know love chapter 116

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“If he were just a con artist, I could understand and make him pay for it, but if it’s real skill, there’s nothing I can do.”

That was all that was said, but I could already picture how the situation had played out.

A gambling genius sweeping up all the money from desperate addicts before gracefully leaving—there was no way that would end well.

“Did you kill him?”

Gaspar immediately clamped a hand over my mouth.

He looked terrified, as if someone might overhear us.

But we were in a secluded corner with a partition around us—it would be difficult for anyone nearby to make out our conversation.

“I didn’t kill him.”

Which meant that the gambling genius, whoever he was, had died.

Losing your life over a game—this wasn’t something that could be brushed off as mere entertainment.

And to think, just earlier, they had said this was safer than being an adventurer.

What a load of nonsense.

“But the Hero—”

That’s what people think, right?

That’s the common understanding?

I was about to say it outright before I stopped myself.

I nearly slipped up and used a title no one here would recognize.

Not the Hero.

Not the Hero. Not ‘Sir Hero.’

The one I know… Zerbin Batista.

The one I call Batista.

“The Hero?”

Zerbin Batista.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

I almost said ‘Hero.’

It nearly slipped out naturally—because I had been calling him that in my head.

Why had I been calling him ‘Hero’?

He has a name.

I had decided to call him by that name.

When did I start calling him ‘Hero’ again?

I can’t remember.

I try to steady my thoughts, retrace them.

It wasn’t just now…

‘Ah.’

When I ran into Vasco, injured.

That must have been it.

I had the arrogant thought that it would be nice if the Hero could hold his hand.

That’s why it came back to me so easily.

Back then, I had definitely thought of him as the Hero.

Not Batista.

‘The Hero.’

Not Batista, but Sir Hero.

Maybe his horrific injuries had dragged my mind back to the world before regression.

My way of thinking had momentarily reverted to that time—when people died every day.

I had even nearly given up on saving Vasco.

‘Did I confuse the past with the present…?’

Wow.

I’m seriously losing it.

What the hell is wrong with my head?

The fact that this isn’t even the first time is even more unsettling.

When we fought the thorn wolves, I briefly thought I was still in the past and acted suspiciously around Batista, didn’t I?

Not recognizing Vasco when I first regressed, forgetting about his death entirely.

And now, when I’m in a situation similar to before, losing my grasp on reality and confusing it with the past.

It’s all a problem…

But I can’t exactly tell a gambling addict I barely know about this.

‘I… I don’t think I’m okay at all.’

Maybe I haven’t been okay since the moment I regressed.

I made such a huge mistake back then that the guilt crushed me, gave me nightmares.

My already weak mental fortitude had been wearing down ever since.

God, I’m such an idiot.

I went and regressed just because I couldn’t control my pathetic survival instinct.

I’m not a Hero, after all.

Batista… no, not that either.

That’s not it.

The Hero.

Yeah.

I don’t belong with him.

How could someone this weak ever be fit to stand beside the Hero, someone meant to save the world?

Things are relatively peaceful now, so he stays with me.

But once he gathers a proper party, I’ll obviously have to step aside.

And then, we’ll grow distant.

By then, even if I told him the truth, he would believe me.

I would have already confessed my mistakes.

He’d be disappointed in me, so the distance would only grow.

That much would be right for me.

How could someone as mentally unstable as I am ever help the Hero?

Even now, he holds me close every night to soothe my nightmares.

How much more of a burden do I plan to be?

My job is to help him realize love and then return to where I belong.

I have to do what I must.

As soon as possible.

‘As soon as possible…’

Otherwise, I might end up wanting to stay by his side.

The Hero, who is so much kinder than rumors suggest, whose warmth grows more evident the more I get to know him.

If I stay, I’ll become too reliant on him.

I want to leave before that happens.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“No, it’s just… you look really pale…”

“I said, keep talking.”

I pressured Gaspar.

This washed-up excuse for a teacher already had a serious gambling problem—if I could clear up the misunderstanding, I needed to quickly determine whether he was salvageable.

If there was potential, I’d lock him up somewhere and force him to quit.

If not, I’d just clear up the misunderstanding and get rid of him.

Either way, the Hero would be more at ease knowing his mentor wasn’t actually a criminal.

“People who had already lost everything, who were drowning in debt, saw someone else winning big and walking away without a care. You know how that would go, right?”

Gaspar finally spoke.

“They tried to kill him and take his money.”

Considering he had said earlier, ‘I didn’t kill him,’ that much was clear. He gave me a solemn nod.

“He really riled them up, too, relying solely on his own skill. The moment he stood up, the whole place went silent. The atmosphere at the table—”

Murderous intent, huh?

Gaspar was serious, but I couldn’t bring myself to relate.

If the money was worth committing a crime over, why the hell had they wasted it on gambling in the first place?

“I knew I had to stop it right away. But I couldn’t just let him go. If I sent him off unscathed, they’d only get angrier and come after him.”

That was true.

Even if I helped him escape once, I couldn’t protect him every day.

“So, I figured I’d rough him up a bit in front of everyone, make it look bad, and then take him away to let him go.”

Wait.

“At that moment?”

“…Yeah.”

Gaspar’s voice dropped, heavy with regret.

“That was when Bati came to get me. I had been running late. And of course, the guy started screaming that he did nothing wrong…”

Not just that—the guards at the gambling hall, who had been stunned by how fast everything happened, must have finally snapped into action.

The Hero was sharp enough to pick up on the situation.

If the guy had been a con artist, the guards would have been harsher on him.

But they had tried to subdue Gaspar instead.

It must have looked like Gaspar was the one attacking an innocent man.

Bad timing, but wasn’t this an issue of reputation?

If he weren’t a gambling addict who constantly lost money and got into fights, would the Hero have assumed the worst of him?

Wouldn’t he have given him the benefit of the doubt?

“Ugh.”

Gaspar groaned at my stare.

“I know… I get it… Bati looked completely shocked and just left…”

“And then?”

“I was completely thrown off! I mean, I might not be the kind of teacher anyone would admire, but I never wanted to be a teacher who beats up an innocent person. So… I rushed after him.”

“Hey.”

What an idiot.

I’m not exactly the smartest person either, so I shouldn’t be talking, but that was an incredibly stupid move.

You should’ve at least finished what you were doing before running off!

He’s your disciple—he could’ve explained himself later!

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