* * *

Sunlight gently settled on Sia’s unnaturally pale face.

His clear features were layered with confusion, anger, fear, and terror, blending into an expression that was both unstable and heartbreakingly endearing.

As I gazed at him, I carefully pulled him into my embrace.

I brushed back the bangs covering his round forehead with a soft touch, revealing the smooth skin beneath.

Pressing a light kiss there, I lifted my gaze.

Haen stood silently, watching me, as if respecting my final farewell to the child.

Breaking our brief eye contact, I slowly pulled Sia away from my arms.

He had been staring at the floor the entire time, but the moment I let go, his head snapped up.

His gaze, now fixed on me, held deep confusion.

A question was written clearly in his eyes—why was I doing this to him?

This child, who had come to trust me so deeply in just a few short months, stared up with a face so young and innocent that I couldn’t help but smile.

“Sia, I’m sorry I can’t stay with you until the very end. Do you remember what I promised when we first met? I said I’d find your family for you. …Oh, Sia, don’t cry.”

At my gentle words, tears spilled from his eyes, one after another.

Sensing our farewell, he looked at me with wounded eyes.

His sea-gray irises blurred with moisture, and I hesitated before reaching out to wipe them away.

Sia, who had quietly accepted my touch, suddenly muttered in a voice thick with emotion.

“Then why don’t you just become my family? I want to stay with you, too. I’m good at sleeping outside. If it comes to it, I’ll even beg to earn money, so just take me with you.”

I felt a weight tug at my sleeve.

Looking down, I saw his small hand gripping my clothes so tightly that his fingers had turned white.

I gazed at them with a complex expression before gently patting the back of his hand.

“Do you think you’ll miss me a lot?”

“Why are you even asking that? Of course I will! That’s why we just shouldn’t say goodbye at all!”

“…I see. But you shouldn’t, Sia. You won’t see me again, so if you miss me too much, it’ll only make things harder. The problem is, I’ve already found your family, and I intend to send you to them.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?! Wait, I don’t have to go right this second, do I? Or… are you at least taking me there yourself?”

Muttering darkly that he’d let it slide if that were the case, Sia grabbed me by the collar.

His grip was surprisingly strong.

I chuckled softly and lightly scratched his chin.

My touch was as gentle as ever, and just like that, his fingers loosened.

That simple reaction made me smile bitterly. I pressed my forehead against his.

“No, you’re leaving alone. Right now. But don’t worry—Asis will be waiting for you when you arrive….”

The moment I whispered those words, Haen, sensing something was off, moved.

But unfortunately for him, I was just a little faster.

“It’s time to say goodbye, Sia.”

Before the words had even fully left my mouth, I poured all the power I had been slowly gathering—even my very life force—into him.

The pain was excruciating, far worse than what I usually felt when using my abilities.

Swallowing down the blood rising in my throat, I met his gaze.

“Sia, I was a pretty decent guardian, wasn’t I?”

“Vivi? Vivi! What are you doing? What the hell are you doing?!”

The moment I finished speaking, Sia’s figure began to blur.

A clear sign that my power had worked.

Relief spread through me, and I smiled brightly.

Sia’s trembling hands reached out, grasping at the air, and finally touched my cheek.

“No… no, Vivi. Your face is so pale. Stop. Don’t do this. Don’t do anything. Just stay with me… don’t do anything, Vivi… Vivi….”

I tilted my head into his shaking hand and whispered,

“I’ll miss what we had enough for both of us. So, please, don’t think about me for too long. I was just a fleeting presence in your life. Be well, Sia. Goodbye.”

…Perhaps I would miss him more than I thought.

With that realization, I let out a bright, innocent laugh—as if I had returned to a time when I knew nothing of misfortune.

Sia screamed my name, shaking his head desperately, but in the end, he vanished completely.

I stared blankly at the space where he had disappeared, then lowered my head.

My lips parted as I struggled to steady my breath.

In the next moment, thick blood, still not fully swallowed, spilled from my mouth.

“This time… I really might die.”

I murmured softly, and as if on cue, screams erupted from all directions.

Shouts of “He’s lost his mind!” and frantic cries that I was about to go berserk filled the air as people scattered in fear.

As my flickering vision cleared for a moment, I spotted a lone figure approaching me—someone who hadn’t chosen to flee.

“…Haen. My friend.”

Recognizing him, I staggered to my feet.

My lips curled into an innocent smile, but Haen frowned slightly.

His beauty was almost surreal, as if he had stepped out of a painting—even his expression of disapproval seemed like a masterpiece.

And then, he slapped me.

‘Strong, too.’

I let out a dry cough, tinged with blood, as a useless observation drifted through my mind.

As I stood there, head hanging like a broken puppet, my heightened senses registered the approach of a hand.

Normally, I would have dodged, but my body wouldn’t respond.

A rough hand gripped my face, and I bit back a groan.

When I finally managed to lift my head, Haen’s cold, piercing gaze met mine.

On the surface, he looked as calm as always, but up close, his blue eyes were a mess of fury.

Oddly enough, seeing that expression made the pain momentarily fade.

Sia was gone.

I had no reason to hold back the blood any longer.

Without hesitation, I coughed up everything I had been suppressing.

The crimson splattered across Haen’s pale hand, which had been gripping my chin.

Even as we stood there, both of us an absolute mess, neither of our expressions wavered in the slightest.

For a long moment, Haen simply stared at me, his face frozen in a hard expression.

Then, as I began to collapse, he grabbed me, barely holding me upright.

His voice, taut with controlled rage, finally broke the silence.

“…What did you do?”

“Haha… Haen… You already know, don’t you…?”

There was nothing left to protect or demand from him.

I abandoned my usual indifference and whispered mockingly, my voice dripping with irony.

His expression didn’t change in the slightest.

But the way his grip tightened on my chin told me everything.

He had realized it.

That I had used up everything to send Sia to the Grand Duchy.

That all that remained for me now… was death.

His already pale face turned even paler.

“…Vivisian, you really have gone mad.”

His voice was a low murmur, carrying none of the amusement that usually accompanied such words.

I let out a hoarse laugh.

Slowly, but surely, I could feel myself slipping toward death.

My abilities, which had always obeyed my command—though not without their occasional stubbornness—were now running wild inside me, tearing me apart.

The sunlight felt searing, the breeze against my cheek stung like needles.

Every sense heightened unbearably… before one by one, they began to fade.

And then, finally, the damp stench of iron bars and the oppressive air of this prison disappeared.

Perhaps it was because I had finally escaped.

‘Death was the right choice. This time, I finally chose the right path.’

If all my senses were to fade away like this, my body—deprived of reason—would thrash about, recklessly wielding its powers until it was exhausted and perished.

And if that were to happen, I wouldn’t be dying alone.

There would be more than a few who would accompany me to the grave.

But I saw no reason to share my death with others, so I decided to plead for it once more.

This time, I desperately wished the gods would answer my request.

Forcing my limp hand to move, I barely managed to twitch my fingers.

I scraped together the last remnants of my strength before carving out my heart.

Before that, for one final moment, I looked at Haen.

He was gripping me tightly, keeping me from collapsing to the ground.

His eyes, a mixture of turmoil and resentment, bore into me.

“Why… Why are you trying to die now? You’ve stayed alive all this time.”

“It’s not that I wanted to live. I just… couldn’t die.”

“Why do you keep saying things I don’t understand?”

“That’s what I’d like to ask… Why can’t you understand something so simple…?”

A bitter chuckle escaped me at the look in his eyes—the kind one gives to someone trying to escape all their sins through death.

He had inherited his mother’s beauty.

But now, that face was a wreck, twisted with emotions too complex to describe.

Looking at him, I was reminded of his mother, the Countess de Winter.

The woman who had smiled so kindly as she entrusted her son to me.

Haen loved his mother, just as I had loved the Countess—the only person who saw me as a whole, unbroken child.

And yet, he truly believed I was the one who killed her.

My childhood friend, who had been with me through so much, was a fool.

And still as naïve as ever.

He had always needed someone to blame, someone to hate, and so he had chosen me without question.

Even now, he was stuck in that same mindset, unable to break free.

Compared to Sia, he was lacking.

And as my blurred vision settled on his face, he looked younger than ever.

He no longer felt like someone I could resent.

As my bloodied lips parted slowly, I spoke,

“My pitiful friend. Even now, you still don’t know… who really killed her.”

Haen’s beautiful face crumpled, as if my words had physically struck him.

“Vivisian! What the hell are you saying—!”

As always, I answered his questions with silence.

If Herel were to finally reveal the whole truth in my place… what kind of expression would you make then?

Once, in the past, when we were certain we knew everything about each other, I might have been able to predict it.

But now, we’ve spent far too much time as strangers. I can no longer guess what your face would look like.

One thing is certain—no matter what expression you make, I will never see it.

Even if there is such a thing as an afterlife, there would be no place for me there.

The gods have revived me countless times, but now that I’ve finally managed to die, where could I possibly go?

Hell is the only place left for me.

But I have already lived my life in hell.

The one I will enter in death won’t be so unbearable.

With that grim joke lingering in my thoughts, I lowered my gaze.

My barely beating heart, torn from my chest, rolled onto the dirt.

I felt the emptiness in my hollow chest and released my last breath without regret.

At some point, I had come to understand that nothing I had was truly mine.

And yet, for a long time, I couldn’t let go of the things that once loved me.

Naturally, there were times when I missed the things I had lost.

I missed the “us” that once was.

You, who used to introduce me as your one and only friend.

And me, who once thought of you as my future.

But I swear on my death—no longer do I yearn for any of it.

So…

“…Yan, Vivisian. You can’t die like this! Vivisian!”

My dear friend, whom I once loved.

“This is truly… goodbye.”

Let’s never meet again.

Never.

I stopped forcing out words through my pain and surrendered to the abyss that was pulling me under.

Beyond the faces staring at me in shock, I saw my younger self—the one who had once known happiness.

I gazed at that child, the one for whom smiling had been natural, until my consciousness faded away.

Above me, sunlight poured down like the voice of a god whispering in my ears.

Somewhere, from a place both cold and kind, a voice called out to me—

[Dolor. My child….]

And for a fleeting moment, I thought… it had reached my very soul.

* * *