Don’t you think we are going too fast? chapter 37

Reading this reply, I recalled the memory unconsciously.

How did I feel when Taeshin kissed my temple?

What did I feel when I imagined him kissing my cheek next?

I was too surprised to determine if I liked it, but I realized I didn’t hate it.

Only after realizing this did I grasp what answer Taeshin was looking for.

In the game, the male protagonist’s heart pounded as he looked at the female character, who blushed with a cute, exaggerated expression.

Heart pounding, blushing, and feeling pheromones…

“How did I not realize?”

“Because you’re an idiot.”

I kicked Yoon Yijun, who was sitting on the floor, and collapsed onto the sofa. I had missed it completely, not noticing the obvious.

I always criticized Taeshin for being clueless, but I was no better.

Despite ignoring all other pheromones, I could clearly sense Taeshin’s.

That should have been a clue.

Seeing Taeshin made my heart race, and when our eyes met, I felt flustered. If I sensed his pheromones, it all intensified.

The warmth that enveloped me wasn’t from anger; there were only a few possible explanations: I was either sick, or I felt something special for Taeshin.

“Yoon Yijun, how would you feel if I kissed you?”

“Ew, get lost.”

“I hate it too, you lunatic.”

“Then why ask?”

“Exactly, why did I even ask such a gross question?”

Yoon Yijun glared at me with genuine disgust, ready to kick me out, before focusing back on the game.

You can’t imagine kissing someone you have no feelings for.

Watching friends play the Pepero game is funny, but you don’t think anything of it.

The fact that I kept imagining it meant I didn’t see Taeshin as just a friend.

Kissing Taeshin left me speechless and made my heart race, but it wasn’t disgusting to the point of nausea. If I did get nauseous, it would be from the overwhelming emotions.

‘Even if you don’t feel exactly like I do, with the taste of your pheromones making everything else unbearable, can you at least feel something similar?’

Taeshin’s words implied he knew my state and wanted me to feel the same. There was so much hidden in that statement.

So,

“…You bastard.”

Cursing under my breath, I realized Taeshin had experienced the same things I did.

The pheromones, the thoughts, the heartbeats – Taeshin felt them all too.

He knew! Knowing full well, he kept looking at me, making me feel his pheromones. Even pretending not to, he made sure I felt them clearly.

Isn’t this malicious?

Realizing he did it on purpose made me question his character, but I quickly dismissed the thought and lay back on the sofa.

No way.

I knew Taeshin wouldn’t do that out of malice.

It was more likely his gaze and the intensified pheromones were because he wanted me to understand his feelings.

Could it really be Taeshin?

I erased the fleeting suspicion.

After spending several years with Taeshin, if he were that kind of person, it would have shown long ago.

Anyway, I thought Taeshin must have felt the same as I did, but then a question arose.

Taeshin had said that the pheromones were so sweet that everything else became repulsive.

Yet, Taeshin always disliked sweet foods. He only drank black coffee, sometimes even adding an extra shot, making him a bitter taste enthusiast since high school.

No way.

“Are you having dinner?”

“Yeah.”

Yoon Yijun saved his game and picked up his phone. As he browsed the delivery app, I lay behind him, voicing a surprising and embarrassing suspicion.

“Do you think Taeshin likes me?”

“Yeah.”

“…You knew?”

“Who doesn’t?”

Could it be true?

Has Taeshin liked me since high school?

I looked up at the ceiling, covered my face with both hands, and turned away.

I buried my face and body into the sofa, silently screaming.

The thought of rambling about dating after getting into college, unaware of his feelings, suddenly felt incredibly embarrassing.

What have I been babbling next to someone who likes me?

Even without being perceptive, I should have noticed a bit.

Moon Sunwoo, just die of embarrassment right now!

“Moon Sunwoo, you’re so…”

“Shut up, I’m already dying of embarrassment.”

The fact that I acted like this for several years beside him was mortifying.

Thinking about Taeshin, who couldn’t even speak and just kept it inside, made me feel even more embarrassed and sorry.

If he had the same symptoms as I did, his mind, heart, and pheromones must have been in turmoil, making it hard to stay sane.

How did he endure it?

I, struggling in this short period, ended up snapping at Taeshin, but he never showed any such signs towards me.

Feeling sorrier, tears welled up, but Yoon Yijun stopped them.

“Can I tell our chat group?”

“Tell what?”

“That Moon Sunwoo finally realized Taeshin likes him.”

“Are you crazy? Why spread that? People would think it’s nonsense… Does everyone know?”

“Nobody doesn’t know.”

“Damn, no wonder no one ever set me up on a blind date.”

Along with the realization that Taeshin likes me, a slew of other thoughts made me curse.

Feeling betrayed by high school friends who knew but never said a word, I glared at Yoon Yijun, who looked at me as if I were pathetic.

“Are you an idiot? Seeing someone liking you for years and keeping it in, how could anyone talk about it?”

“You guys blabbered a lot, saying Taeshin was my wife and we were a couple.”

“Yet, you didn’t notice. That’s not blabbering.”

Yoon Yijun, who joined in on calling Taeshin my wife, now pointed out my obliviousness.

While waiting for the delivery, he kept asking if he could share the news in our group chat, which I refused vehemently, beating him with my eyes and words.

When the spicy boneless chicken feet set arrived, I only shared the cheese balls and devoured the rest.

Stress seemed to drive my appetite. Even after eating a lot, I wasn’t satisfied and ordered more, causing Yoon Yijun to look at me in disbelief.

Even dogs are left alone when eating.

I’ll show them what resentment looks like.

After spending the day at Yoon Yijun’s, I went straight to school.

I sent Taeshin a message saying we should go separately for a while and entered the classroom just in time for the lecture.

Seeing Taeshin already seated, I put my bag down at a distant empty desk.

I subtly sensed Taeshin’s pheromones.

Pretending not to notice, I fiddled with my phone, checking useless apps and news.

The faint pheromones persisted, making me wonder how Taeshin managed this for years.

Do they fade over time? As I pondered, the pheromones intensified slightly.

Taeshin was looking at me.

The professor entered the lecture hall, and the pheromones dimmed.

They remained subtle until the lecture ended.

“Taeshin.”

Packing his things slowly, Taeshin paused and looked up at me. I spoke as calmly and casually as I could manage.

“When will this end?”

“What?”

“The pheromones I’m sensing now, when will they end?”

Suppressing the tickling and stirring sensation in my chest, I swallowed and waited for Taeshin’s answer, who had likely experienced this before me. He replied quietly.

“Soon.”

He answered briefly.

“They will gradually fade and eventually, you won’t feel them anymore.”

Taeshin spoke calmly, without a hint of wavering.

“…Got it. Thanks.”

I watched him for a bit longer, then thanked him, to which he responded with a faint smile.

This was our last class together due to my course scheduling mishap.

Moving to my next class, I thought Taeshin seemed capable of making lies seem truthful.

The answer I got didn’t seem quite right amidst all my questions.

Taeshin’s pheromones were sweet enough to make candies unbearable for me.

And Taeshin still drank only black coffee.

* * *

I had an old dream after a long time. It was about meeting Taeshin after my first heat cycle. My heart raced so much I ended up in the emergency room.

The doctor had laughed and sent me home. Thinking back, it wasn’t something to be hospitalized for; it wasn’t an illness.

On the way home from the hospital, I felt like I was dying, but Taeshin was chuckling, which I thought was mocking me. It wasn’t a lie; it was real.

Why laugh? In my dream, I felt that way.

Years later, looking back with a different perspective, I understood why the doctor and Taeshin laughed.

Anyone could see my symptoms were from being overly conscious of ‘Alpha Taeshin’. Taeshin knew and laughed.

Realizing this, Taeshin had been pleased that I was aware of him as an Alpha.