Don’t you think we are going too fast? chapter 13

As I recalled the memories I tried to burry, Taeshin’s presence felt different.

His usual demeanor seemed larger and heavier.

His serious, unsmiling gaze made the air thick with a hot, humid tension.

His overly calm gaze felt awkward, drying my lips.

I turned my attention to the reflection paper, gripping the pen.

I had to speak carefully.

There was no way out because of my second brother, who inadvertently brought us together.

I mouthed words, then drew lines on the reflection paper, trying to find the right words to say.

Knowing that any choice I made wasn’t good, I wanted to at least make it less bad.

But I couldn’t find the right words.

Choosing the usual, commonly heard approach:

“…Nothing happened. I drank a whole bottle and fell asleep.”

Pretending it never happened.

“I only remember sleeping because I was drunk. You did too, right?”

“…….”

It was despicable to say it, but pretending nothing happened and I didn’t know felt dirty.

Unable to continue, I stared at the messy lines on the reflection paper before looking up at Taeshin.

He dropped his gaze, grabbed a pen, and started writing.

“You’re not wrong.”

“Yeah, right….”

“If it meant nothing, then nothing happened.”

Was Taeshin’s sarcastic tone because I was cowardly, or did it hit a nerve?

I was speechless, and the silence continued. Taeshin didn’t speak further.

In the uncomfortable silence, the sound of our pens moving on paper was the only thing audible.

After filling a sheet with writing, Taeshin put down his pen and stood up.

“I’ll submit this. Do whatever you want.”

“Huh? What….”

“See you.”

“Taeshin!”

Ignoring my call, Taeshin left.

I stared at the door he exited, confused, then checked the paper on the table.

It was a timetable. Taeshin’s schedule for the university course registration on Monday.

Seeing the detailed schedule with days, times, subjects, and professors’ names, I felt strange.

Leaving just the timetable and leaving like that, ignoring my call….

Although I was the one who acted like nothing happened, Taeshin’s behavior somehow felt more hurtful and upsetting.

I stared at the timetable for a while, biting my lip as emotions surged.

My nose tingled, and my eyes grew warm, leading to a sniffle.

* * *

After Taeshin left, my thoughts ran wild.

Was he upset?

Angry?

Did I say something too harsh?

Even lying in bed, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“Do whatever you want.”

Taeshin’s words made me feel guilty and conflicted.

He probably said it because he knew I was uncomfortable with what happened.

I should’ve honestly said I wanted to forget it ever happened.

Regretting my words too late, I spent the night wide awake.

As the sun rose and the outside brightened, I checked my phone.

A night had passed since Taeshin left, and there was no contact from him, indicating he might really be angry.

Feeling conflicted, I decided to seek others’ opinions.

I logged into a site where thousands of stories were shared daily and wrote a post.

[Title: Did I Do Something Wrong Fighting with My Friend?
Author: MaxedOutEgg
Sorry for posting in the wrong section… I heard this place gets a lot of traffic.
I had a drink with a friend and made a mistake.
I pretended it never happened and acted like I didn’t remember.
Then my friend told me to avoid it if I wanted and left;;
I think my friend is upset and angry.
But it’s a drinking thing, so I can’t say I remember.
If I admit I remember, it’ll just make things awkward, and my brothers might kill me;;;;
Anyway, my friend hasn’t contacted me since.
Was I wrong?]

I couldn’t go into detail, so I wrote vaguely and posted my question on the forum with a tense heart.

I nervously waited for responses with the screen on, and as soon as I heard the notification ping, I refreshed the page to check the replies.

[chocoslamber: It depends on the kind of mistake you made.]

[HomosapiensENFP: I absolutely hate drunks.]

[BlameShifter: It’s your fault, bye.]

[Mystery: Can pretending it didn’t happen actually make it disappear? Seriously, people who can’t control their drinking are the worst, haha. Your friend probably just exploded after holding it in.]

[SecondLifeFan: Yeah, this probably isn’t the first time.]

[LoveandWarBetweenSoupAndStew: What’s this? It’s sparking my imagination. Is it about adult matters? Is it?]

While I was feeling a twinge at the reply about adult matters, another reply came in.

[TigerResearcher: Did you get drunk and strip off with your friend?]

[JustGuessing: You slept together.]

I didn’t say a word about something like that, but the comments hit the mark eerily well. I re-read my post to check.

No matter how I read it, there was nothing implying anything happened between me and Taeshin.

Trying to stay composed despite my shocked mind, I checked the latest response.

[StarryNightNotebook: If you didn’t want to talk about what happened after drinking with your friend and wanted to pretend it never happened, there’s not much you can do.
But you decided and acted on your own without consulting your friend. If you plan to keep seeing your friend, you should either apologize or pretend nothing happened and reach out first.
If you don’t like either option, you have to respect your friend’s feelings.
They’re hurt because of you, so if they don’t want to see you, you have to accept that.]

It was a complicated feeling, but it was undeniably true.

Unlike the people who just left nasty comments and left, this serious reply made me think a lot.

If I want to keep seeing him, I have to reach out first.

That thought made me sigh.

How can I contact him after claiming I don’t remember anything?

Why haven’t you contacted me?

Are you really that mad?

Or should I just apologize?

Any option I chose seemed inappropriate for me.

Pretending nothing happened and contacting him first would seem like I remembered everything and was just too afraid to admit it.

According to StarryNightNotebook’s advice, contacting him was out of the question.

It would be the same as reconsidering my decision to make it all go away, which was impossible.

[If he doesn’t want to see you, you have to accept that.]

It wasn’t wrong, but it felt so harsh that I read it over and over, feeling upset.

I knew it too. If my actions made Taeshin not want to see me anymore, I couldn’t help it.

But still, can’t I be a little selfish?

Taeshin always went along with what I wanted.

Even though it was already done, if I had the chance to go back to that day, I felt like I could do anything to change it.

Then, I would never have done that with Taeshin again.

The truth hit me hard, and I held back my tears of frustration.

Even though he always went along with what I wanted, I was disappointed that he wouldn’t this time. I consoled myself, feeling disappointed in my selfishness.

It was hard to accept that Taeshin might not want to see me anymore.

I comforted myself, accepting that if Taeshin didn’t contact me, our relationship would end.

Yet, I couldn’t help but hold on to a bit of hope, waiting for his call until the course registration started today.

Before the dark night sky could turn blue, I jumped up to check my phone and the time.

I hoped Taeshin would text me like before, asking if I was up and ready for course registration, but sadly, that didn’t happen.

As the registration time approached, I opened the school website on my computer to prepare.

I kept glancing at my phone, hoping for a message from Taeshin, while looking at the timetable he gave me.

Familiar courses stood out, reminding me of the excitement I felt when I first explored them with him.

Feeling even more troubled by these memories, I picked up my phone and started writing messages like “today,” “registration,” and “are you up?” but ended up sighing and putting it down.

I drummed my fingers on the desk, sighed again at the quiet phone, and started registering for courses.

I checked off the planned courses and pressed confirm.

Frustrated that Taeshin hadn’t contacted me, I hastily finished registration and flopped onto the bed.

I just wanted to forget the drunken incident and go back to being friends, but now we weren’t even that.

If I had known it would come to this, I would have apologized right away.

I should have just said let’s forget it. Regretting my late decisions, I buried myself in the blankets.

Thinking that Taeshin and I were no longer friends drained my energy.

I had never lost a country, but if I ever did, it would probably feel like this.

I felt drained and lacked motivation. I wondered how the cold-hearted Taeshin was doing. Was he still angry?

Had he already forgotten about me and moved on?

Or was he feeling relieved?

If he used social media, I could have at least checked on him secretly, but Taeshin didn’t use any of that.

Even his contact profile picture was something I had set for him because he didn’t bother to do it himself.

His status message was blank. If I had taught him to use social media, I could at least stalk him now.

Frustrated by how clueless he was about online activities, I picked up my phone.

To soothe my gloomy mood, I opened a game but quickly lost interest after a few taps, just checking in and then closing it.

Everything felt pointless.

I wished an asteroid would crash into the Earth soon, or that the Demon King I had a pact with in my dreams would show up and destroy the world with me.

I fell asleep briefly, planning to sue the Demon King for breach of contract when I couldn’t find him in my dream.

I was searching for him in the dream world when I heard a knock.

I woke up suddenly, not realizing I had fallen asleep, and heard the knock again.

Opening my eyes after the short nap, I pouted and got up from bed, grumbling about being left alone.

When I opened the door, I was wide-eyed at the sight of Taeshin standing there.

“…Lee Taeshin?”

Is this a dream? Am I not fully awake yet?

I took a step back in suspicion, as it had been several days since I’d last heard from Lee Taeshin.

Taeshin, standing in front of me, stared at me for a moment before handing me a small shopping bag.

“I came to return this.”

“Uh, yeah.”

As if to confirm that this wasn’t a dream, Taeshin didn’t come inside but stood in the hallway, only extending the shopping bag with his hand.

I hesitated, standing face to face with him, and then slowly approached to take the bag.

As I awkwardly reached out to grab it, Taeshin tightened his grip on the bag.

I looked up at Lee Taeshin, who had promised to return the bag but wasn’t letting go of it.

Our eyes met as he continued to look at me, his gaze so intense that it was almost overwhelming.

As I swallowed nervously, Taeshin, seemingly not missing a moment, spoke up.

“Do you still not remember?”