* * *
“Go on in. He’s still asleep. I called you because I figured he’d ask for you first when he wakes up. Don’t wake him.”
Jungjin’s voice snapped Beomhyeon out of his thoughts.
Would Jungin, now with his memories restored, really look for him?
Beomhyeon bit down on the inside of his cheek as he quietly opened the door and stepped inside.
Lying on the bed was Jungin.
Just hours ago, they had been together.
Had Jungin been suffering all along?
Had he hidden his pain so Beomhyeon wouldn’t worry?
Looking down at Jungin’s flushed face, with red-rimmed eyes betraying his exhaustion, Beomhyeon felt as though someone was gripping his heart.
“Jungin.”
A wide bandage wrapped around Jungin’s palm.
Gently, Beomhyeon took his hand, lowering his face to rest against it.
His trembling touch conveyed the warmth of his breath as it spilled out.
“Beom…hyeon-ah…”
Hearing the faint voice, Beomhyeon lifted his head.
Jungin’s surprised eyes met his, a small, wavering smile briefly gracing his lips before fading.
“Beomhyeon, I have something to tell you.”
If he didn’t say it now, he’d be swept away by Choi Jungin again.
Ten years of being mercilessly shaken by him were enough.
He didn’t want to repeat it.
“The me you were engaged to… wasn’t really me.”
“…What do you mean?”
“The Jungin you love… might not be me.”
As Beomhyeon stared at him, speechless, Jungin realized how soon the moment he dreaded had come.
Tears threatened to spill, but he fought to hold them back.
‘Don’t cry. Don’t cry. You have to say this properly.’
Out of habit, Jungin pressed his nails into his palm but winced when they met the bandage.
Seeing the cartoon characters on the plaster, likely placed there by Jungwoo hyung, made his chest tighten.
His throat felt tight, and no sound came out.
Struggling to suppress his sobs, Jungin looked into Beomhyeon’s confused eyes and spoke.
“I first met you… at the hospital. Do you remember Choi Jungin, the one in the accident with me?”
“…I remember.”
“I thought I was him. I thought Choi Jungin’s soul entered Lee Jungin’s body and that I was living as a guest in this body, not knowing when I’d have to leave. I thought I was just… borrowing this life.”
As Jungin’s words poured out, Beomhyeon’s brow furrowed.
Jungin truly believed he was Choi Jungin, living in Lee Jungin’s body?
It wasn’t a joke.
Jungin was serious, desperately pleading for Beomhyeon to believe him.
Beomhyeon saw the anguish in Jungin’s eyes and realized he was telling the truth.
How could those eyes belong to someone who was lying?
Even if the story wasn’t true, Beomhyeon wanted to believe in Jungin.
“That’s why, no matter how much I liked you, I couldn’t let myself love you. The love you and your brothers gave me made me so happy, but I couldn’t just enjoy it. I hated myself for deceiving everyone, for pretending to be someone I wasn’t. But your warmth, your kindness… I couldn’t let it go. That’s how I’ve been living. For months.”
Was this why Jungin kept pushing him away?
Why he suffered in silence?
To Beomhyeon, it didn’t matter whether he was Lee Jungin or Choi Jungin.
All that mattered was that he was the Jungin he loved.
Beomhyeon reached out to steady Jungin’s trembling shoulders, just as tears began to spill from his eyes.
Jungin’s voice cracked as he spoke through sobs.
“But… it turns out I really am Lee Jungin. For ten years, Choi Jungin took over my body. And now… this body is mine again. I’m really Lee Jungin.”
Beomhyeon couldn’t say a word.
“Beomhyeon… so, who am I? Am I Lee Jungin? Or Choi Jungin? Was it me you and my brothers loved? Or was it Choi Jungin? What should I do? What if Choi Jungin takes over again, and I can’t see you or my brothers anymore? I’m scared, Beomhyeon. I just… I just wanted to be loved. I just wanted to stay with the people I care about. How did it end up like this?”
Jungin’s sobs broke through as he clutched his chest, overwhelmed by his own despair.
The strong, bright Jungin he knew seemed ready to crumble.
“You don’t believe me, do you? I don’t even believe myself. How could you?”
With an empty smile, Jungin lifted his hollow gaze to Beomhyeon.
“It’s fine. You can stop now. You don’t have to suffer because of me. Tell Jungjin-hyung we can cancel the engag—”
Before he could finish, Beomhyeon pulled him into a tight embrace.
Jungin froze, the familiar scent of Beomhyeon enveloping him.
“I believe you. So don’t act like you’re going to disappear. Don’t talk about breaking off the engagement, Jungin.”
The warmth in Beomhyeon’s words melted away some of the weight crushing Jungin’s heart.
“I’m sorry… Beomhyeon. I’m sorry for loving you…”
In truth, I might have been hoping for Beomhyeon to hold me back.
Jungin clung tightly to Beomhyeon’s sleeve, burying himself in his embrace as he broke down in tears.
After letting the gradually calming Jungin go, Beomhyeon gently wiped the sweat from his forehead and asked:
“Are you going to tell your family?”
He swept back Jungin’s sweat-dampened hair as he repeated the question.
Would telling his family really be the right choice?
What if they didn’t believe him again?
What if his mother decided to send him to a mental hospital?
“I’m not sure why, but…”
Lost in thought, Jungin spoke hesitantly, his voice trembling with unease.
“…There were moments when I got my body back. Even then, I told them that my body had changed, that I was inside Choi Jungin’s body. But they didn’t believe me. My stepmother and father… they took me to a mental hospital.”
Hearing that, Beomhyeon recalled Jungin’s history of psychiatric treatment.
He had only assumed it was due to chronic depression—never imagining it could be for a reason like this.
“I want to tell my brothers everything. But… what if they think I’m strange again? What if they don’t believe me, and I end up…”
Beomhyeon noticed Jungin’s nails digging into his delicate palms, leaving marks that even a bandage couldn’t cover.
He gently pulled Jungin’s hands away, looking into his eyes.
“If they don’t believe you, then let them be. I believe you. I’ll believe you for the both of us—and for anyone else who doesn’t. I’m here now, aren’t I?”
Beomhyeon was right.
Things were different now.
Jungin had Beomhyeon by his side, as well as his brothers.
It was scary, but he could find the courage.
Pulling Beomhyeon into a tight embrace, Jungin whispered with genuine gratitude:
“Thank you, Beomhyeon. Really… thank you.”
The area around his swollen eyes was raw and inflamed.
Beomhyeon held the trembling Jungin close, patting his back until he finally fell asleep.
Then, standing up quietly, Beomhyeon retrieved some ointment.
With a soft kiss on Jungin’s forehead, Beomhyeon brushed back his hair and gently applied the ointment to his inflamed eyelids and the scratches on his hands.
“Don’t hurt anymore, Jungin…”
Even in his sleep, Jungin’s hands searched for him.
Beomhyeon held him tightly, as if they were one, and finally drifted into a late slumber.
* * *
my bby :((
How did Choi Jungin changed bodies? Is he a shaman or something? Did I forgot?
His grandma did like a shaman ritual and had them switch bodies
🥺😢😭😩