* * *

I cautiously extended my hand and grasped Hernan’s rough one.

Then, I took the ring from the box and slid it slowly from his nail to where his fingers parted, pushing it snugly into place.

‘It suits you, as expected.’

The gemstone, shimmering like the frozen ice that gleamed when struck by light, perfectly matched his pale, branch-like fingers.

“By the way, it seems I’ll need to retrieve the token and dowry again for the marriage preparations…”

I briefly glanced Hernan over from head to toe and spotted a piece of cloth tied to the scabbard at his waist.

Typically, when brought before the emperor, all weapons would be confiscated, but this time, with the princess’s guardian spirit involved and the rushed circumstances, it seemed to have been overlooked.

For me, this was a fortunate oversight.

“This would make a fine token.”

Before Hernan could react, I swiftly untied the handkerchief from the scabbard.

The name embroidered in elegant stitching on the corner was all too familiar.

[Jurgen Nil Everdeen]

‘…You’ve kept this all this time?’

This wasn’t the official work of Berta that I had ceremonially given to “male lead” Hernan during a hunting event.

No, this was a handkerchief I’d handed to a bullied young noble child, back when I played the role of an overbearing older brother trying to stop him from crying.

As if signaling I was finally getting to the main point, I declared with a calm face:

“As for the dowry, I’ll be requesting the Velon Territory.”

It was only natural that the brief sentence that came out of my mouth turned the audience chamber into chaos once again.

---

If there was a word that defined my previous life and was farthest from Jurgen’s reality, it would be “trust in others.”

I was always the one being asked for things, always struggling to prove my worth.

I relentlessly pushed myself, as if I would become worthless if I didn’t constantly strive and fight.

This self-destructive tendency to drive myself sometimes brought discomfort, but ultimately, it helped me secure the advantageous position I needed.

I always wanted to excel, to be loved and praised by everyone—a model student.

Like a runaway horse that didn’t know how to stop until its muscles tore apart, my first life ended in futility.

After experiencing such an exhausting existence, I thought this time should be different.

I knew I shouldn’t repeat the same mistakes, but the habit of taking the fastest route, even if it meant more suffering, was ingrained in me.

Why waste time when enduring a little more pain would get me there sooner?

When asked why I went to such extremes, I couldn’t even answer myself.

It just felt like I had to.

If I stopped to rest and look around, I feared I would be left behind.

I couldn’t let myself relax, couldn’t allow myself to take it easy.

And I probably never would. I didn’t know how to live without tormenting myself.

Perhaps, from the beginning, what I needed was someone to hold the reins for me.

Someone who could steady me when I faltered, who would tell me to stop when I pushed myself too hard.

But unfortunately, everyone who approached me only wanted me to keep running.

They wanted me to save them, protect them, and care for them like an older sibling.

They believed I would make them happy without a doubt.

And since I acted in ways that invited such people, I had no one to blame but myself.

Hernan was different.

Strange.

He was drawn to me because of my self-punishing nature, yet whenever I pushed myself too hard, he looked at me as if it pained him personally.

He constantly interfered, preventing me from overexerting myself, and even got angry when I tried.

His behavior made me restless. I was someone who believed I needed to prove my worth to be loved.

My accomplishments and results were the only things that defined me.

Would Hernan still want me if I stopped being capable?

His answer was clear in a brief kiss.

‘Will you marry me?’

The tension drained from me as soon as his response came.

After my bombshell declaration about the Velon Territory as a dowry, I ended up fainting, causing yet another uproar.

Now that even Hernan knew about the pregnancy, I couldn’t insist on pushing myself any further.

I found myself confined to the bedroom.

“……”

When I opened my eyes again, expecting to see an empty ceiling, I nearly fainted again.

Surrounding me were Duchess Velesa, Berta, Hernan, and even the princess, all staring down at me as if I were a critically ill patient.

“Hey, you, you really…!”

Setting everything else aside, I grabbed the sleeve of the culprit, Berta, to stop her from fleeing.

She chuckled nonchalantly.

“Wow, that’s some expression you’ve got there. But hey, I got here on time, didn’t I? Cut me some slack. I haven’t even had a proper bath for days rushing over here.”

Judging by her appearance, I didn’t need her to say it.

I groaned, barely managing to sit up, and sighed before dismissing the crowd around me.

“Could we have a moment? I need to speak with my family.”

Duchess Velesa nodded, satisfied I was unharmed, and left the room, followed by the princess.

Even Hernan, looking worried, was about to leave when I shot him a glare.

“Sit down. I have questions for you too, Your Grace.”

Startled by my firm tone, Hernan nodded and sat down. Finally, I turned to Berta, glaring.

“You said you were going to Gert. So what’s this about Morgana?”

When I asked, unable to hide my frustration, Berta shrugged with a mischievous grin.

“If I’d told you my actual destination, you’d have stopped me, saying it was too dangerous, wouldn’t you? And probably thrown a fit too.”

“Hah! That’s your excuse?”

“Calm down. You’re not alone in this anymore. Getting worked up isn’t good for our niece or nephew, is it?”

Her shameless, casual attitude only stoked my anger further.

“Do you even know what you should be saying to me right now?”

Berta scratched her cheek awkwardly, feigning ignorance.

“Uh… I do feel bad seeing how much you’ve gone through, but come on. You know as well as I do—if I hadn’t done this, you’d never have seriously considered working things out with His Grace. And now, well… everything’s turned out fine, hasn’t it?”

Her audacity pushed me to the edge, and I finally shouted:

“Do you even realize I nearly had to sell off hotel shares because of you? Sure, I can accept that it’s my fault for raising you this way. But what about the servants and tenants of the estate? What did they do to deserve bearing the consequences of your actions?”

At my outburst, Berta frowned as if confused.

“What are you talking about? Sell hotel shares? What’s this nonsense?”

“What?”

“You need to explain clearly for me to understand. How am I supposed to know what happened when you talk like that?”

I was dumbfounded by Berta’s unexpectedly combative response, especially when I thought she’d apologize and admit her fault.

“Well, how are we supposed to pay back that huge amount if you just disappear with it? Did you not think of that?”

Berta furrowed her brow deeply, glaring at me as if I was spouting nonsense.

“What are you talking about? When did I take any money?”

“You’re talking about your dowry! If you vanish and the engagement is annulled, of course, the money has to be returned!”

“What are you even saying?”

And then, the moment I heard what she said next, I had to grip onto my sanity to avoid collapsing backward.

“Why would I take that? I wouldn’t even know how to carry it. How could anyone travel around lugging such a fortune? Be reasonable.”

“…?????”

What on earth is she talking about?

She didn’t take the dowry?

Then where did all that gold go?

Wasn’t it taken out with the carriage Hernan had ridden in that day?

Without a second thought, I shot a sharp look at Hernan as if asking, ‘Was this your doing?;

“Care to explain what happened here?”

Hernan, too, protested with a look of indignation as if this was news to him.

“I know nothing about this. I was under the impression Miss Berta had made separate arrangements since you kept insisting she took the dowry and disappeared.”

“What? Why would I do that? The Duke had already provided me with ample travel funds. Why would I do something that would bring unnecessary trouble?”

Both of them looked absolutely mortified, as if deeply wronged.

Honestly, I felt the same way.

* * *