* * *
Lowell quickly denied it, worried Felix might get the wrong idea.
“Your reaction is a little too defensive. Suspicious.”
Felix turned his head slightly, clearly ready to investigate.
“It’s just… our earlier conversation popped into my mind.”
With a sigh, Lowell confessed honestly.
‘I didn’t think I’d end up spilling even this much.’
He rubbed the back of his neck, now flushed red, and dropped his gaze to the ground.
“What conversation?”
Felix still had his eyes narrowed suspiciously.
His whole posture said he wouldn’t let this go until Lowell gave a convincing answer.
Lowell had no choice but to speak.
“You asked me… what I would do if I lost my lover to war.”
As Lowell paused to catch his breath, the sounds of the bustling crowd seemed to grow louder.
A group of children ran past, and on that same path, Lowell’s heart thudded heavily in his chest.
Sweat beaded at the back of his neck.
Felix remembered that conversation clearly, as he kept every memory with Lowell vividly preserved.
At the time, Lowell had answered easily: “The living have to live.”
And although Felix hadn’t realized it then, that answer had made him feel a little lonely.
Now, Lowell seemed far more nervous than he had been back then.
“Yeah. I asked something pointless.”
Felix replied lightly, trying to ease the tension in Lowell’s heart.
Even if he didn’t fully understand what troubled him, he wanted to lift the weight off Lowell’s shoulders.
“I’ve been thinking… if you asked me that question now, I’m not sure how I’d answer.”
Back then, he’d replied without hesitation.
But now, even though it matched his beliefs, the words wouldn’t come easily.
Because somehow, having someone precious again had made him vulnerable.
“There’s no need to think about such a thing. I’ll make sure you’ll never have to suffer because of me.”
This time, Felix answered firmly — like a sturdy, ancient tree rooted deep into the earth.
“I’ve never lost a battle in my life. Trust me, Lowell.”
Hearing that solid vow, Lowell felt a knot inside him slowly unwind.
A lightness returned to his face, and with a playful smile, he teased:
“You’re the one who asked that strange question in the first place.”
“I know. I’ve reflected on it — getting sentimental and asking something so unnecessary.”
Felix’s sincere reflection left Lowell with nothing else to say.
Instead, he decided to let go of the lingering scraps of unease in his heart.
“But still…”
It took more courage than he thought, but Lowell knew: it was better to speak these things than let them rot inside.
“Felix… no matter what happens, I hope you live well.”
It was, in truth, Lowell’s selfish wish.
He tried not to think about it, but the closer happiness came, the more a fear loomed over him — that he could be torn away from this world at any moment.
‘If that happens, Felix might not be able to handle it.’
Lowell was certain: if the original owner of his body returned, Felix would notice immediately.
It wasn’t something he could hide with a simple lie about amnesia.
Felix, the Felix that Lowell knew, wasn’t someone who would take the easy, false path.
“There’s no need to worry about something that won’t happen.”
Felix shook his head firmly, unaware of the fears Lowell harbored.
“One thing I can say for sure — I can’t live well without you.”
His voice was unwavering.
“So take good care of yourself, Lowell.”
“I will,” Lowell replied softly.
Lowell responded while inwardly sneering.
‘Feels like I went to remove a burden and came back with an even bigger one.’
He figured this was the price for bringing up something he already knew Felix’s answer to, and forced himself to calm down for now.
‘No use getting hung up on something that may or may not happen. I need to focus on the present.’
Though he tried to convince himself, the unease didn’t fully disappear.
“Didn’t you say you wanted to try that?”
Felix, too, clearly wanted to change the subject.
He felt like he might lose his mind if Lowell kept acting like he was going to disappear.
Just yesterday, they had shared a sense of oneness so deep it had been overwhelming.
“Oh, right. They said it’s a sweet dish with lots of vegetables.”
“You liked chicken dishes too. How about trying that one as well?”
As if they had erased the earlier conversation from their minds, the two browsed through different foods, buying anything that looked delicious.
Some people were eating by the riverside, but they decided to head back to their lodging to eat together.
Lowell was exhausted, but as soon as the food was laid out in front of him, his mouth watered.
It was laughable how his body reacted, but at least it was better than having no appetite.
‘Might as well eat while I can.’
He stuffed a salt-sprinkled chicken skewer into his mouth.
Felix watched Lowell chew with a quiet, steady gaze.
While Lowell devoured more than half the skewer, Felix didn’t even move his hands.
“Felix, you should eat too,” Lowell said, embarrassed.
Only then did Felix reach out.
Acting as indifferent to food as ever, he picked up the same skewer Lowell was eating and took a bite — only for his eyes to widen in surprise.
“Is it good?”
“It’s not bad.”
The strange discomfort he usually felt when swallowing food was gone.
For once, Felix continued his meal with an uncharacteristically pleasant expression.
“Try this one too.”
Normally, Lowell was the one happily eating while Felix occasionally offered food, but now their roles had reversed.
Watching Felix eat so cleanly, Lowell couldn’t hide his pride.
‘So this is why he kept trying to get me to eat before.’
Feeling a deep sense of understanding, Lowell kept offering him more food.
“Don’t act like a cat gathering food for her kittens. Eat some yourself,” Felix grumbled as the food piled up in front of him.
Finally, Felix picked up some food and popped it into Lowell’s mouth in return.
Forgetful of all their earlier worries, they finished their meal feeling satisfied.
However, as if the heavens had only granted them a fleeting moment of peace, hurried footsteps and an urgent knock soon shattered the calm.
“Your Highness!”
The voice called out without even waiting for permission to enter, making Felix’s soft smile harden instantly.
“What’s the matter?”
“A, a letter requiring your urgent attention.”
It was Tony — and seeing him here, rather than at his usual post guarding the main residence, made it clear that something serious had happened.
‘If Tony himself had to come all the way here… it must be pretty bad.’
A cold sweat trickled down Lowell’s back.
The unease that had been lingering at the edge of his awareness now gripped him entirely.
“Here.”
Handing over the letter, Tony wiped the sweat from his brow, glancing anxiously around.
He must have realized only after rushing here how flustered he looked.
Ignoring him completely, Felix unfolded the letter — and his expression twisted almost immediately.
It was a face full of fury, something he normally kept carefully hidden whenever Lowell was near.
“We’re returning to the estate immediately,” Felix said, crumpling the letter in his hand.
“What happened?”
Lowell asked, forcing himself to keep his voice steady even as a chill ran through him.
“Prepare to retreat.”
The knights quickly recognized that Felix was asking them to clear the room and swiftly obeyed.
* * *
