* * *

[Event Failed…]

Missed a chance to increase favorability.

The antique-looking status window displayed the message in a way that seemed almost mocking.

I turned my head to ignore it.

The corridor connecting the daffodil garden to the Tower had a high ceiling.

Rain splattered in along the edges, soaking the marble floor.

Serta, who had been waiting for me outside, assessed the direction of the rain and stepped to my left.

The wind was blowing from the left.

Thanks to him, I returned to the Tower without a single drop of water on me.

I handed the raccoons to Serta to send them back, washed up, changed into something simple, and flopped onto my bed.

The soft mattress felt like it was wrapping around my entire body.

Sleep came naturally…

“……”

Just as I was about to drift off, I snapped my eyes open and sat up.

My back was damp with cold sweat.

My shallow, ragged breaths barely squeezed through my tightening throat.

I wanted to scream from the crushing fear, helplessness, and fatigue.

Or maybe I just wanted to cry.

Knowing the source of my fear, I forced myself to wake from the thoughts threatening to consume me.

I tried to think about anything else.

I didn’t want to fall asleep.

Falling asleep felt too terrifying, like I might never wake up again.

The poison Ateol gave me in my past life.

It was a drug that killed you slowly and painlessly, as if you were falling asleep.

I waited for my heart to calm, but it didn’t obey.

I rolled back and forth on the bed, got up and paced around the room, then ran to the bathroom to wash my hands and splash cold water on my face.

As the drowsiness faded, the fear retreated slightly.

“Ha…”

A long sigh escaped me.

Dying as if falling asleep might seem merciful and serene at a glance.

But experiencing it was an entirely different matter.

The weight of sleep bore down relentlessly.

Heavy, heavier. And once I succumbed, I would never wake again.

No one who hasn’t faced that terror could understand what it’s like to battle drowsiness knowing it leads to death.

Even after I came back to life, the thought haunted me whenever I tried to sleep. It wasn’t a vague fear of death; it was the creeping dread of dying slowly, the emptiness, the despair, the urge to escape, and the regrets.

Getting hit by the truck in my previous life had been excruciatingly painful, but at least it ended so quickly there was no time for other thoughts.

If Ateol had just decapitated me cleanly with his sword, it would have been far better.

Because of that, I was now teetering on the edge of insomnia.

Whenever I closed my eyes, death loomed, and each time, I jolted awake.

It happened so often that even the onset of sleep itself had become something to fear.

This body’s regenerative abilities apparently didn’t extend to mental wounds.

A generous dose of tranquilizers and sleeping pills might help, but I wasn’t ready to confide in Cloden about my condition.

As a result, my complexion, already gloomy, worsened by the day.

The dark circles under my eyes were so prominent they seemed almost comical.

If I ended up fully succumbing to insomnia, how would I even explain the cause?

As I sat on the bed, resting my chin in my hands, lost in thought, I heard the door open.

“Tower Master.”

Startled by the voice, I whipped my head around, only to have my hair smack my cheek.

Cloden flinched slightly, as though surprised by the sight of me rubbing my stinging face.

“I entered too abruptly. I knocked, but you didn’t answer… My apologies.”

“It’s fine.”

I must have been too deep in thought to hear him.

“His Highness the Fourth Prince left without saying much.”

“I see.”

Well, it’s not like he’d throw a tantrum about not being able to stay, but it was still a relief that he left quietly.

While still soothing my stinging cheek, Cloden spoke hesitantly.

“…Yuri.”

Unconsciously, I turned to look at him.

It was rare for him to call me by name.

And in those rare cases, it often meant he was deeply concerned.

“Is there something troubling you these days?”

“Troubling me?”

Why would he ask that out of the blue?

I didn’t remember him asking something like this in my past life.

Had I been acting that strangely?

“You seem different from usual…”

“No, it’s nothing…”

I avoided his gaze and trailed off, and Cloden lowered his head.

“Forgive me if I overstepped, but if there’s anything troubling you, please don’t hesitate to confide in me, my lord.”

His voice was heavy with concern.

Cloden’s devotion toward Yuri was unwavering.

Having served him for so long, he likely saw Yuri as family.

“…Alright. Thank you.”

I answered without resistance.

The gauge wasn’t affected.

After all, this was something my past self might have done.

Hesitating briefly, I added:

“Then prepare something for my headache and nerves.”

“Understood. Would you like tea?”

“No, medicine.”

Cloden’s brows furrowed.

“You’ve been requesting medicine quite often lately.”

“Ah… Have I?”

I faltered, but feigned ignorance.

It was because I couldn’t bring myself to sleep, afraid that I might not wake up.

To cope, I’d been relying on painkillers or mild sedatives.

I thought I’d been subtle, taking them infrequently enough to avoid suspicion, but apparently, it was still too much.

If only I could drink myself to sleep instead, but of all things, I couldn’t handle alcohol.

Cloden’s worried gaze weighed heavily on me.

No, this was as good a time as any.

If I asked for sleeping pills and stronger sedatives now, I could knock myself out without room for fear or anxiety.

Might as well get it over with.

“Lately, I’ve been feeling off. Headaches, no real reason… and I can’t sleep.”

Cloden tilted his head in thought and asked, “May I take your temperature?”

I nodded.

The moment Cloden gently placed the back of his hand on my forehead, the gauge ticked down with a crisp crackle.

The Tower Master had self-healing abilities.

Admitting to any kind of ailment would have been unthinkable for my past self; I wouldn’t have uttered a word about it.

I still hadn’t fully dispelled my doubts about Cloden, having known him for less than a month.

“You have a slight fever. It might be best to consult a doctor,” Cloden said, his expression filled with worry.

There was indeed a doctor in the tower—someone assigned solely to me.

Though self-healing negated the need for a physician, my pseudo Tower Master abilities couldn’t address ailments rooted in the mind.

Essentially, this doctor was akin to a psychiatrist in Earthly terms.

“Alright, let’s do that.”

Good.

I’d bring up the insomnia and lighten my burden.

If they asked what caused it, I’d simply say I didn’t know.

Cloden stood and left the room to summon a servant.

When he returned, he offered a faint smile, as though trying to comfort me.

“Dame Ryan will be back shortly. I’ve received word that he’s arrived in Meset.”

Ah, so things were unfolding just as they had in my past life.

I almost showed a hint of joy but held back.

In this timeline, I hadn’t yet met Dame Ryan or even seen her face.

The last time I received a letter from her, it had been a close call.

Meset was the city just next to the capital, so it wouldn’t be long before we met.

A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts.

Cloden moved to open it himself.

“Tower Master, it’s Eretto, the Chief Physician.”

When Cloden opened the door, a short-haired woman in her early forties entered. It was Eretto Miil, the tower’s doctor.

She asked a series of routine questions—whether I’d been uncomfortable, having nightmares, or anything else—and fell into contemplation.

“It seems you’re showing signs of insomnia. Could it be due to overwork…?”

Eretto glanced at Cloden.

Useless.

Overwork? I barely had anything that could even be called work.

The two exchanged worried looks before I finally received the sleeping pills and sedatives I wanted.

Both were prescribed to be taken in halves, but as soon as I was alone, I swallowed two whole tablets of each.

The effect was immediate.

Without even a moment to feel fear, I fell into a dreamless, hammer-heavy sleep.

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