* * *
Watching Joel like that, the Crown Prince felt a complicated mix of emotions.
He felt a twinge of pity — Joel looked so happy over just a single, thoughtless comment.
And there was guilt too — because he couldn’t return that kind of affection.
And honestly… just a little bit, Joel’s radiant smile was kind of endearing.
Which annoyed him — that he could find Joel endearing, even for a moment.
“Still, I should know what foods you like. You’re not alone anymore, so I’ll have the chef pay extra attention from now on.”
In the dream, the Crown Prince was worried about the child growing in Joel’s belly.
In reality, Joel wasn’t pregnant — but for some reason, in the dream, he simply accepted that he was.
At that, Joel began cheerfully listing all his favorite foods.
Salads, roasted potatoes, fresh fruit…
As the Crown Prince listened, one of his eyebrows lifted in disbelief.
Because everything Joel mentioned were foods he usually ate.
“That sounds more like what I like, not you.”
Over the past three years, Joel had clung to him like a leech.
Whether he liked it or not, the Crown Prince had come to know a few things about him.
And one of those things was that Joel hated roasted potatoes.
He preferred bold, greasy dishes — especially whole roasted pig, dripping with fat.
The Crown Prince had long wondered how someone who ate like that managed to stay so slim.
“Well… I like what Your Highness likes.”
Joel answered with a straight face, not even bothering to sound convincing.
But his plate was piled high with chicken — of all things.
Salad, huh? The Crown Prince couldn’t help but laugh under his breath.
Joel’s shamelessness was… kind of cute.
He’d only started the conversation to break the silence, but Joel’s enthusiastic responses were starting to pull him in.
“Then what about foods you don’t like?”
“The ones Your Highness dislikes, of course.”
Then Joel started listing off sweet treats — fruitcake, custard pudding, pecan pie…
The Crown Prince narrowed his eyes.
Those were all things he hated.
He had seen Joel devour cakes and pastries during tea time with the excitement of a child.
Just how long was he planning to keep up this charade?
For a moment, the Crown Prince was genuinely curious — how had Joel learned his preferences so well?
But then he thought, ‘No… it’s Joel. Of course he’d know.’
Joel had followed him around like a duckling since forever.
“Do you not have any preferences of your own?”
The Crown Prince, exhausted by Joel’s obsession, shook his head as he said it.
The moment the words left his mouth, he realized it might have hurt Joel’s feelings — but surprisingly, Joel didn’t look upset.
Instead, he blinked at him with wide eyes and replied,
“Why wouldn’t I have preferences? You’re my preference, Your Highness.”
Joel giggled as he said it, and while it felt wrong to think this way about someone who might one day be his mate, in that moment, he looked completely lacking in pride.
The Crown Prince suddenly felt a wicked urge to tease him.
“Then what if I said I liked Benjamin?”
Joel loathed Benjamin with a passion.
Despite the fact that Benjamin was a respectable man and had grown close to the Crown Prince after three years at the royal academy, Joel’s hatred for him ran on a whole different level.
Joel was perfectly capable of being friendly with Benjamin while simultaneously despising him.
That’s just how he was.
Bringing up Benjamin’s name was a playful jab — not meant maliciously.
But suddenly, Joel’s eyes welled up with tears.
Fat drops clung to his lashes, then started falling down his cheeks.
The Crown Prince was caught completely off guard.
It wasn’t even that harsh of a joke.
He hadn’t expected Joel to cry over a comment like that.
What’s more, the Crown Prince knew full well that Joel wasn’t the type to cry in front of others.
If he were upset, he’d flip the entire table — not show weakness.
The Crown Prince realized he had made a mistake. He quickly set down his fork and moved to Joel’s side.
He even went so far as to kneel down, looking up at Joel in a humiliating position — but Joel only turned his head away, avoiding his gaze.
“Joel, it was just a joke. If it upset you, I apologize.”
But even as he apologized, Joel only sniffled quietly, refusing to respond.
The Crown Prince — baffled by his own reaction — found himself completely shaken by Joel’s tears.
He didn’t know why, but he was at a loss.
“You know you’re the only one for me now. You know that, right?”
Still, Joel said nothing.
He wouldn’t even look at him.
The thought that Joel was pregnant made the Crown Prince even more anxious.
He grabbed Joel’s arm and held up the left hand where the engagement ring rested.
“We’re engaged. You’re carrying our child. Why won’t you believe me?” he pleaded.
After a long silence, Joel, who had quietly cried while turning away, finally spoke in a small, fragile voice:
“…Do you love me?”
Even though they had a child and were even engaged, the crown prince in the dream still couldn’t bring himself to answer “yes” to that question.
He found Joel secretly endearing.
Sometimes—very rarely—he even thought Joel was lovable.
Being around Joel made him feel good.
But that didn’t mean he loved Joel.
…If he were being honest, there were fleeting moments when his chest would tingle lightly because of Joel.
But the crown prince had never welcomed those feelings.
In fact, he harbored a strong aversion to feeling that kind of emotion toward that Joel.
To put it plainly, he didn’t want Joel as his crown princess.
This engagement was nothing short of a tragedy, born from a mistake during his rut—a rut he hadn’t taken suppressants for, resulting in a lifelong blemish on his honor.
When he woke up from the rut that day, the crown prince had desperately hoped that the Omega he’d attacked wasn’t Joel.
Not because he had anyone else in mind—it just absolutely couldn’t be Joel. He didn’t even understand why it had to be anyone but Joel, but that was how he felt.
But the Omega turned out to be Joel after all.
And because he had completely lost control and even knotted him, there was no escaping the eventual engagement.
For someone who had always carried a deep sense of duty regarding the throne, the idea that Joel could become the future queen of the nation was an unbearable source of stress.
Joel’s character—or lack thereof—was one thing.
More problematic was the fact that he came with Count Lucas, a political headache.
Despite only being in the engagement stage, Count Lucas was already acting like the emperor’s in-law, trying to meddle in state affairs.
But the biggest issue—the most troubling one of all—was that, even though he knew he shouldn’t… there were moments when the crown prince did want to place Joel by his side as the crown princess.
The public believed that Joel was pregnant and that the engagement was made hastily due to Count Lucas’s fierce objections…
But the truth was, had the crown prince not given his consent, the engagement wouldn’t have happened at all.
He kept telling himself he didn’t like Joel—not even a little.
He believed that was the proper way to feel.
So he’d been delaying the marriage, watching for a chance to call off the engagement.
But the problem was… every time he saw Joel’s bright, open face, he found himself wanting to treat him kindly.
The crown prince was in the midst of a long, stubborn battle to deny the warmth growing in his heart toward Joel.
That’s why he couldn’t answer when asked if he loved him—and Joel, in turn, was deeply hurt by his silence.
He regretted it the moment after and called out, “Joel.”
But it was too late.
He couldn’t take back the pain Joel had already felt.
After waking up from that strange dream, the crown prince was left in a daze for some time.
In reality, he had never had such a dinner with Joel.
And Joel… wasn’t actually pregnant.
The dream had been oddly vivid and realistic…
But since it differed so drastically from reality, the crown prince decided to dismiss it as nothing more than a nonsensical dream.
And yet… he couldn’t seem to forget Joel’s face—those tears streaming down, his expression filled with sorrow.
Joel had looked so sad, so hurt.
It was just a dream.
A silly dream.
So why was that one scene burned so deeply into his mind?
* * *
