* * *
Of course, he wasn’t afraid of pain in the slightest.
It would hurt and be difficult, but it would undoubtedly feel good too.
Because it was a sensation given by the man he loved so deeply, even the pain was welcome.
Joel was prepared to gladly accept even the pain of his cervix being violated, if it meant he could become one with the crown prince.
The only problem was the baby in his womb. If he had rough, beast-like sex while pregnant, something might happen to the baby.
This baby was now Joel’s only happiness and hope, no different from a lifeline.
When he had heard that his father had been captured by the cult, he had managed to endure somehow, but if something happened to the baby too, he felt he wouldn’t be able to hold on any longer.
To shake off the dizziness, Joel squeezed his eyes shut tightly and then opened them, then grabbed the back of the prince’s head, which was buried in his chest, and forcibly pulled him away.
“N-No… I don’t want to.”
The prince frowned as if to ask what he meant.
When he tried to bury his face back into Joel’s chest, Joel had to grip his hair even tighter.
Looking straight into the prince’s eyes, Joel refused in a clear tone, “I don’t want to do it.”
In response, the prince released his pheromones even more strongly.
An Alpha’s pheromones had the power to send an Omega into heat.
If Joel weren’t a dominant Omega, he would have been unable to hold out and gone into heat right then.
Joel felt a gush of love juice spurt from his entrance.
As he moaned, “Hahh!”, the prince flashed a seductive smile as if to ask if he still intended to refuse.
Of course, Joel wanted to pounce on the prince immediately.
His already dripping wet hole was clenching spasmodically, craving the prince’s member.
If it weren’t for the baby in his womb, he might have pushed the prince down, climbed on top, and ridden him right then and there.
But Joel felt a powerful attachment to the baby inside him, and so, mustering every ounce of his strength, he squeezed out the words, “I… I don’t want to! I said no!”
Seeing Joel’s refusal was stronger than expected, the prince withdrew his pheromones.
Joel opened his mouth and took a deep breath.
As the bergamot scent, which had felt like it was choking him, faded, his mind finally cleared. It felt like he could breathe again.
As Joel clutched the blanket, breathing heavily, the prince gently stroked his cheek and reassured him, “It’s alright. If you really don’t want to, I promise. I won’t do anything.”
Joel felt relief. And with the relief came tears.
The thought that he had almost endangered the baby because he couldn’t control his own lust made it impossible to suppress his guilt.
At first, Joel wept softly, “Huuu…”, but soon he was crying his eyes out.
Meanwhile, the crown prince was greatly flustered when Joel started crying.
Unaware that Joel was pregnant, he couldn’t understand Joel’s sudden tears.
Flustered, he began trying to soothe Joel.
Frankly, the prince had assumed Joel would want him too.
It was only natural, considering Joel had doggedly pursued him for a full three years.
Although it ended in failure, Joel had even tried to figure out his rut cycle and force himself on him once.
Even though Joel had avoided him for two months after the incident at the graduation party, the Joel he had met again still liked the prince.
The fact that he guarded the prince like a puppy, ensuring Benjamin couldn’t get near, was proof enough.
No matter how he thought about it, the prince could only surmise one reason for Joel’s refusal now.
“That night… did I frighten you that much?” the prince asked Joel in a guilt-laden voice.
A hypothesis was already forming in his mind.
Could it be that the reason Joel suddenly avoided him for two whole months, and even after their reunion, while unable to hide his affectionate gaze, still rejected his touch… was because he had been shocked by what happened that night?
Joel didn’t answer, only sniffing and weeping.
Seeing him cry so sorrowfully, it seemed he must have been deeply shaken that night.
Watching tears gush from Joel’s beautiful eyes, he felt incredibly sorry and his heart ached.
While feeling guilty was natural, it was something he had never once considered – that Joel could cause his heart to ache.
The Crown Prince felt confused.
Even so, he didn’t forget to soothe him, stroking Joel’s head and kissing the back of his hand.
“I’m sorry, Joel. I’m truly sorry.”
Joel closed his eyes and turned his head away, averting his gaze.
The kinder the Crown Prince was, the more resentful and hateful he felt.
How could I have resolved to let you go?
After leaving me to die in the snowy wilderness, why are you acting like this now…?
He wished the Crown Prince would just look at him with the same contemptuous eyes as before.
That way, then he could leave without any lingering attachments.
To Joel, the Crown Prince was still someone he couldn’t trust.
How could he trust the person who had killed him?
Joel firmly believed that the Crown Prince must have been involved in his first death.
There was no proof, but considering the cold, heartless way he had turned his back that last time, Joel strongly suspected that was the case.
“I won’t hurt you again. And I will take full responsibility and make amends for the pain you’ve endured. If you wish, you can hit me, curse me, whatever you ask of me, I’ll do it. So please, just stop crying, alright?”
But seeing the Crown Prince so flustered and helpless, his foolish self wanted to trust him again.
Joel felt disgusted with himself for it.
And here I thought I’d become smarter after dying once, but I’m still that same stupid, foolish Joel from the past.
Joel briskly wiped his tears with his balled-up fists.
Sniffling, he drew in his breath and, still covering his eyes with his arm, posed a question to the Crown Prince.
“Really? You’ll grant any request I have?”
“Yes.”
The Crown Prince nodded immediately.
In all sincerity, if it would just stop Joel’s heartbreaking sobs, he felt he might even be willing to hand over not just the position of Crown Princess, but the Crown Prince’s title itself.
He waited for Joel’s cherry-like lips to part, ready to gladly grant whatever request Joel made.
According to Count Lucas, Joel adored jewels and gold bars immensely.
That’s why, when finalizing the servant contract, the Crown Prince had sent Joel a necklace studded with a whopping 108 diamonds as payment.
Though neither the Crown Prince nor Joel knew it, that necklace, of course, ended up in Count Lucas’s pocket.
After all, the Count’s initial tip-off was solely intended to squeeze money out of the Crown Prince.
If Joel asked for jewels or money this time too, the Crown Prince was fully prepared to just hand over an entire diamond mine to him.
But the request Joel came out with was far different from what the Crown Prince had anticipated.
“Then get out. Go and sleep next to Benjamin.”
The Crown Prince stiffened his brow in bewilderment.
There were only two requests in this world that Joel could absolutely never make of him.
One was to abandon him and leave, and the other was to go near another omega—especially Benjamin.
And right now, Joel was making both of those requests simultaneously.
“What?”
As the Crown Prince questioned his own ears and asked again, Joel finally lowered the arm covering his eyes.
His cat-like eyes were gleaming with a piercing light.
Glaring at the Crown Prince, Joel said fiercely, “That’s my request. You said you’d grant anything.”
The Crown Prince gazed for a moment at Joel’s tear-reddened eyes, now flushed from crying.
He intended to figure out what Joel was thinking.
But that small head, which was usually so transparent, gave him no clue whatsoever as to what thoughts lay inside it at this moment.
The Crown Prince gently brushed his fingers over Joel’s tear-stained eyes and asked,
“Joel, even if I go, just answer me one thing. Why on earth are you trying to push me towards Benjamin? You know if I actually go near Benjamin, you’ll be so angry you won’t know what to do.”
The Crown Prince genuinely couldn’t understand this point.
He didn’t know what scheme Joel had in mind, but he was certain Joel didn’t truly want him to go to Benjamin’s side.
So why…?
Hearing that question, Joel felt his pride sting.
Because, indeed, he didn’t want to send the Crown Prince to Benjamin.
But I’m doing my best to act this out… How did he figure it out?
Joel thought with displeasure, completely unaware that his thoughts were the type to be plainly written all over his face.
“Let me be clear, I have no interest in Benjamin.”
The Crown Prince whispered as if confessing, ‘It’s only you.’ But Joel couldn’t believe those words.
Then why did you even bring Benjamin on this inspection tour in the first place?
When I initially asked why you were taking Benjamin, you didn’t even give me a reason.
How am I supposed to believe what you’re saying now?
In truth, the Crown Prince had dragged Benjamin along purely to make Joel jealous, but there was no way for Joel to know that fact.
* * *
This is why we communicate, guy! 😩😩