ACTSV chapter 4

“It’s true, he has dissociative amnesia.”

“…Can it really happen so suddenly? He was fine until the tests were done. There wasn’t any trauma to his brain… Is it possible for Jinwoo to develop memory loss in such a short time while he was briefly unattended?”

Hoonil couldn’t hide his disbelief at the words of his colleague, Yoon Kitaek.

It’s possible to develop dissociative amnesia due to certain events. However, it usually happens when there’s a brain injury affecting the memory centers, or due to severe psychological issues.

This made Jingyeom’s situation feel even more abrupt. To develop amnesia while receiving an IV and sleeping seemed bizarre.

Hoonil rubbed his face roughly with his palm and sighed deeply.

“…This is too sudden.”

“These things usually appear out of the blue. But he hasn’t forgotten everything. He can still function normally.”

Kitaek reviewed his notes from his consultation with Jingyeom.

After the tests, it seemed that only parts of his memory, including those about people, were affected. It wasn’t a significant issue otherwise.

“He’s been in a lot of pain. That indicates high levels of stress. There’s no immediate danger. With rest and psychotherapy, his memory should naturally return.”

“But it might never come back…”

“You shouldn’t say that. We have to be optimistic about even the smallest chances.”

Hoonil nodded slowly.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that he might have missed something during his examination. Was it a mistake on his part that led to this? He felt as if this was his fault.

Kitaek slapped Hoonil’s arm with a sharp sound, snapping him out of his thoughts. Startled, Hoonil looked up.

“Don’t worry too much. He’s not a child. Jinwoo is with him.”

“…”

“If you act worried, it’ll only make him more anxious. He relies on you a lot.”

“You’re right. I can’t be like this. …I’ll go get the kids.”

Regaining his composure, Hoonil stood up with a deliberate cheerfulness and called Jingyeom and Jinwoo, who were waiting outside.

Kitaek tried to explain the situation as gently as possible so as not to alarm them.

“Everything else is fine. He’s psychologically stable, and his stress levels aren’t high. It’s just that… there’s a bit of an issue with his memory.”

Jingyeom, sitting in the consultation room, knew what his diagnosis would be. He listened calmly, but Jinwoo staggered slightly as if his strength left him.

Noticing this, Jingyeom reached out and grabbed Jinwoo’s arm.

“Do you want to sit?”

Jinwoo couldn’t hide his trembling eyes. The change in him was noticeable.

Normally, he wouldn’t have paid any attention to him or stared at him like this.

Jinwoo had sensed something was off since the hospital room. Hearing about the memory issue made Jinwoo understand Jingyeom’s behavior better, though it was still shocking. Knowing the seriousness of the situation lessened the surprise a bit.

“…No, I’m okay.”

Jinwoo, shaking his head, focused intently on Kitaek’s words, while Jingyeom appeared disinterested.

Kitaek tapped the table to get Jingyeom’s attention. Finally, Jingyeom looked at him.

“It’s dissociative amnesia.”

“…Amnesia?”

As Kitaek nodded to confirm, Jinwoo closed his eyes tightly.

Jingyeom, who had been frail since childhood, had spent his life close to hospitals and would continue to do so.

Lately, he had been eating poorly and not sleeping well. Jinwoo had dragged him here despite his protests about not wanting an examination.

And now, dissociative amnesia.

Jinwoo felt a pang of guilt, his heart racing and his breath quickening.

Jingyeom gently held Jinwoo’s trembling right hand, as if to say he was okay.

Kitaek sighed briefly and continued.

“He’s lost the memories he’s built up over the years, but his knowledge remains, so he won’t have trouble with daily life. …Memory can return unexpectedly, or it might not. We’ll need to monitor him closely.”

“So… he might live his whole life without regaining his memories?”

“Unfortunately, we can’t rule out that possibility. It’s understandable to be shocked now, so take some rest. We’ll start psychotherapy when he feels better.”

While there are various treatments for amnesia, Kitaek suggested psychotherapy.

He wasn’t unfamiliar with Baek Jingyeom, so he thought psychotherapy would be the best approach to help him.

“…Will psychotherapy help him recover?”

“I can’t guarantee that. Memory is a sensitive issue. The patient’s own will is crucial.”

Kitaek glanced at Jingyeom. Despite the conversation being about him, he showed no interest, merely looking around the consultation room.

Kitaek had seen Baek Jingyeom several times when he visited the hospital and even had meals with him and Hoonil.

As a psychiatrist with extensive experience, Kitaek felt that Jingyeom needed psychiatric treatment. He had mentioned this to Hoonil before, but Hoonil had always refused.

Jingyeom seemed psychologically unstable, but both he and his guardians resisted any treatment, leaving Kitaek to just observe.

Now, with the diagnosis of amnesia, Kitaek suggested psychiatric treatment again.

“You don’t have to decide right away. Take your time to think it over.”

***

Leaving the consultation room, Jingyeom and Jinwoo walked towards the hospital room with Hoonil.

“Hyung, go inside and rest. I need to talk for a bit and then I’ll come in.”

Without asking why, Jingyeom nodded and opened the door, but then he hesitated and stepped back.

It seemed like Woo-beom and Soohyuk, who hadn’t left during the examination, were sitting on the hospital sofa, emanating a tense atmosphere.

Jingyeom shrank back from the piercing gazes of the two as he closed the door and turned around. Jinwoo and Hoonil were rounding the corner.

As the protagonist hesitated, fearing to enter the hospital room and contemplating following the two people instead, the door to the room opened.

Soohyuk, with a smile, called out to him.

“Where are you going?”

“Uh…”

“Come in. We were curious and waiting for you too. Where’s Secretary Baek?”

“He… said he had something to discuss with the doctor.”

“Ah, I see.”

Soohyuk stepped aside and nodded for him to enter.

Jingyeom glanced inside. He didn’t want to enter, mainly because of Wonbeom, who seemed to be glaring at him.

Wonbeom wasn’t actually glaring; it was just his sharp eyes that gave that impression, but Jingyeom perceived it differently.

As Jingyeom hesitated, Soohyuk reached out, wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and pulled him inside before closing the door.

“If you keep standing there, people will stare.”

“They’re already staring from over there too.”

Using Soohyuk’s body as a shield, Jingyeom whispered quietly.

He couldn’t understand why Wonbeom was looking at him like that. According to his profile, he could kill someone with just a look, and now, Jingyeom felt like he was the target.

Shivering in fear, Jingyeom clung closely to Soohyuk.

‘What’s this about?’

Soohyuk raised an eyebrow.

Baek Jingyeom had always been fixated on Tak Wonbeom. He’d seen Jingyeom do all sorts of odd things to get Wonbeom’s attention, but seeing him scared was a new experience.

Something amusing was happening.

With a slight smirk, Soohyuk turned to Wonbeom and mockingly said,

“Director Tak, could you ease up on the glaring? He says he’s scared.”

“I didn’t say I was scared!”

Startled, Jingyeom tugged at his clothes and whispered as quietly as possible. He was indeed scared, but he didn’t want to make things worse by admitting it.

Soohyuk shrugged nonchalantly.

Jingyeom, sensing the atmosphere, timidly made his way to the bed. Even as he moved slowly, both Wonbeom and Soohyuk’s eyes were on him.

Jingyeom quickly slipped under the covers. He knew how cold-hearted Wonbeom could be and wanted to stay out of his sight.

Soohyuk chuckled as he saw the blanket-covered Jingyeom, looking like a wriggling caterpillar, and sat on the sofa. He turned his head towards the bed.

“What did the doctor say?”

“…”

“Is it really amnesia?”

“…”

“Did they find out you were lying?”

Jingyeom, peeking out from under the blanket, glared at Soohyuk.

“I didn’t lie.”

His grumpy voice made Soohyuk smirk.

“Then?”

“They said it’s dissociative amnesia.”

“Did you really lose your memory?”

“If the doctor says so, then I guess so.”

He answered sulkily, clearly upset at the implication that he was lying.

Soohyuk turned to Wonbeom and mouthed, “It seems real.”

Wonbeom merely frowned without taking any further action.

Having confirmed this, Soohyuk showed no intention of leaving. He contemplated whether to just leave Jingyeom there but then turned back to him.

“How does it feel to have no memory?”

“Uh…”

Jingyeom loosened his grip on the blanket and fidgeted with his fingers. It wasn’t an easy question to answer.

Even though he hadn’t really lost his memory, he was experiencing something similar.

After the examination, the doctor had asked various questions, and ironically, he couldn’t remember anything clearly.

Questions about his family brought up an image of a harmonious home, but the faces of his family members were obscured as if by a thick fog.

He remembered they had a dog, but only its brown color.

At that moment, he wondered if this was a side effect of transmigration.