Farewell to the hero! chapter 30

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Someone called out to me so casually that I wondered who it was, and it turned out to be an elf.

In the Republic of Shains, it’s no exaggeration to say that elves and humans live together.

“Do I look like the type that elves would like?”

I asked as I rubbed my soft cheek. Even as I spoke, I felt embarrassed by my own question.

Back when I lived in Luther Village, I wasn’t popular.

Even when the elders suggested I find a partner before it was too late, I couldn’t bring myself to do so, and it was entirely because of that.

Of course, it was also because there were more people already married than those who were still single.

Before I liked Kaindel, the people I had feelings for all chose those who owned shops or were heirs to family businesses.

I suppose I would have made the same choice.

After all, it’s more appealing to choose someone with a secure future rather than a naive person serving food in a restaurant.

Daniel gently lifted the stray hair from my forehead with the index finger that had just brushed against the scent of the flowers.

“They love anything white. So, they must like you, Essi.”

“Oh.”

By “white,” did he mean my skin?

I glanced down at my pale white skin and sighed. Then, I tried to picture my face in my mind.

My dry gray hair, grayish eyes, and thin lips that were no bigger than a finger joint.

My eyebrows, as far as I could tell, were straight.

But imagining anything more was impossible.

Luther Village didn’t have luxurious items like mirrors, so I had never scrutinized my face in detail.

Trying to piece together parts of my face would never give me a complete image.

Still, it must be because of my pale skin that the elves are fond of me.

After all, it’s the only part of me that’s white.

As I tried to organize my unfinished thoughts, a bitter memory crawled into my mind.

The unpleasant memory of learning that the person I wanted to like my face had once confessed their feelings for someone else.

Still, should I be glad that I have something in common with the fairy Kaindel used to like—my pale skin?

A self-mocking smile crossed my face.

Even I found my lingering feelings pathetic.

Past things should stay in the past.

But Kaindel’s expression when talking about the fairy stuck in my mind, and the hope that Kaindel might like me was tainted by thoughts of that fairy.

A worry I knew was unnecessary.

At least, it should be.

I lifted my lowered eyelids and met Daniel’s gaze, who had been quietly observing me.

“…….”

“…….”

Our eyes locked in the empty air, and a silent wave swept through the void between us.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his steady black pupils and unconsciously parted my lips.

“You know, Daniel.”

“Yes?”

“When that happened… did I look pathetic to you?”

Daniel stayed silent for a moment, his expression unreadable.

He seemed to be searching his memory, trying to figure out when I meant.

After a while, he gave up and asked back.

“When was that?”

“When Kaindel was talking to Owen. You made eye contact with me then, remember?”

“Ah, yes. I remember now.”

I explained the situation that day briefly to help jog his memory.

Daniel nodded slightly in understanding, though his expression remained emotionless.

He simply looked at me with a questioning gaze, as if wondering why I was bringing up something so out of the blue.

I glanced at Daniel, who was patiently waiting, and hugged my knees tightly.

A cold wind settled on my hunched back.

I hesitated just before I could utter the next sentence that had risen to my throat.

I realized I hadn’t asked the most important question.

I shook my head and corrected myself.

“No, I should ask… Did it seem strange to you that I liked Kaindel?”

It was hardly common for a man to be seen liking another man.

No matter how prettily you dressed it up, it was still just the same-sex love people sometimes found disgusting.

Some people believed love stemmed from a desire to reproduce, so the idea of someone lusting after the same gender might have repulsed him.

Neither Ruen, Owen, nor even Sehir knew yet that I liked Kaindel. They had only noticed that Kaindel treated me somewhat specially.

Maybe they’d even realized I was especially weak when it came to him.

But they surely hadn’t realized it went any further than that.

I had worked hard to hide those feelings that couldn’t be confidently displayed in public.

But Daniel had seen through me completely.

My reaction to Kaindel’s every word, without even giving me the chance to lie about my feelings, had made it obvious.

It was the first time my feelings had been exposed to someone other than the person involved, and it made me nervous.

I wanted to know how Daniel saw these messy feelings of mine.

If he found them uncomfortable or unpleasant, I was ready to be more cautious around him.

Daniel, as if contemplating my question, gently stroked the back of his hand.

I felt my breath grow shallow, splitting into smaller fragments, as tiny clouds seemed to puff from my chest.

The faint scars on his large hand, which could easily cover his jawline, became even more faint behind the soft clouds.

“Well, I was surprised because I didn’t expect it.”

“I thought so…”

“But it didn’t seem strange.”

“…….”

“Nor did you seem pathetic.”

Daniel emphasized this, tilting his head slightly. His neatly arranged black hair slipped down to match the angle of his chin.

His eyelids fluttered up and down slowly, almost as if the hair brushing against his eyes didn’t bother him.

“But Kaindel doesn’t like me, does he? I mean, he could, and no one knows what might happen in the future, but for now, this feeling is just a one-sided crush.”

I muttered with a cracked voice, suppressing a sigh.

I hadn’t intended to pour my heart out to Daniel.

But the way he listened so calmly kept making me speak.

Words flowed out of me like a dam had broken.

“I even find myself pathetic sometimes. That’s why I asked.”

I added with a faint laugh. I laughed to lighten the mood, in case his reaction wasn’t good.

I was ready to change the subject right away if needed.

But just then, Daniel spoke again.

“In our Republic, we have a saying: ‘Last spring will never return.’”

Daniel spoke softly, as though whispering.

“Of course, spring will come again, as one of the four seasons. But the saying means that the same spring won’t come back. Just like when you turn the page of a book, you move past the previous content. Once something passes, it can never be the present again.”

“…….”

“That’s why I think it’s admirable, Essi, that you’re honest with your current emotions. You don’t seem strange or pathetic to me at all.”

It was the first time I’d heard Daniel speak this much at once.

I blinked.

My mind raced, trying to store away every word he said.

“Last spring will never return.”

When the future becomes the present, the present becomes the past.

And in that passage of time, the lost present becomes nothing more than a faded memory.

That was why Daniel thought I was admirable for staying true to my emotions in the present.

A flutter of butterflies filled my stomach.

His compliment, more precious than a hundred words of comfort, made my ears grow warm.

It felt like my emotions, acknowledged for the first time, were finally being validated.

Just as I pressed my flushed ears to calm them, Daniel, who had been gazing up at the bright moon, suddenly waved his hand lightly, as if beckoning something small.

“Do you like small animals, by any chance?”

Surprised by the sudden change of topic, I nodded quickly, hiding my curiosity.

“I love them.”

“Then, would you take a look over here?”

I followed his gaze and looked in the direction he pointed.

“This is…”

“It’s nothing special, just a rabbit.”

A brown rabbit appeared, pushing through the grass.

The rabbit stood still, twitching its nose in Daniel’s direction.

Even though Daniel hadn’t made a sound, the rabbit seemed to know exactly who had called it.

Taking advantage of the moment, I examined the rabbit closely.

Its body was dotted with white patches, and its tail, smaller than a fist, shyly drooped down.

Its ears, not as large as I expected, looked like they were made to be touched.

“…It’s cute.”

“Do you feel better now?”

Daniel gently stroked the rabbit’s forehead with his index and middle fingers.

The rabbit, seemingly satisfied, half-closed its eyes and pressed its body to the ground, from its tail all the way to its chin.

Watching the scene, I chuckled, feeling the remnants of my earlier, bitter emotions being swept away.

“Yes, I feel much better. Thank you, Daniel.”

“Whenever you’re feeling down, just let me know, and I’ll bring you a little one from around here. It doesn’t have to be a rabbit, of course.”

Daniel flashed a faint, relieved smile.

Seeing his smile stirred an odd feeling inside me.

Unable to resist the ticklish sensation, I clasped my cold palms together and breathed warmth into them.

I appreciated Daniel’s small acts of kindness that he offered so casually.

Thanks to him, the chaos that had been cluttering my mind started to clear up.

I quietly reached out my arm and mimicked Daniel, placing my fingers on the rabbit’s forehead and moving them back and forth.

“What’s this little one’s name?” I asked.

“It doesn’t have one.”

“Can I name it?”

“Doesn’t matter, you’ll forget it soon enough.”

“Well then, hmm…” I stared intently at the rabbit, then clapped my hands. “May.”

Just as I glanced over at Daniel, asking for his opinion with my eyes, a familiar voice drifted lazily from behind me.

“Isaac.”

The familiar voice pierced my ears.

The voice sounded as if the speaker had just woken up, their pronunciation unclear.

The sleepy tone was even and calm.

For some reason, a chill crept up the back of my neck.

It was just my name being called, but a shiver ran down my spine.

I turned towards the source of the voice and saw Kaindel leaning against a tree.

He met my gaze and smiled faintly.

His usually tidy appearance was nowhere to be seen as he ruffled his disheveled hair.

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