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I can’t die before the novel even starts chapter 103

* * *

Klen truly seemed unconcerned with external gazes or ridicule.

I felt that if I decided to order a lavish, voluminous dress, he would sit beside me and help choose the design.

That would affect not only me but also his own reputation.

“I won’t be wearing a dress.”

“Then, I will arrange for an outfit of the same design as mine.”

Since the ball would be over quickly, it was better to leave it to him rather than fussing over choosing and customizing various outfits.

If the outfits were the same design, they would be decent, and it would be good, befitting a married couple.

When I nodded, Klen smiled.


Perhaps he was indeed hurting from being stepped on so many times, as Klen went to the library and borrowed books related to dancing.

Comparing what I roughly knew with the proper movements by referencing the book was certainly different.

While he was away for training, I sometimes practiced the confusing parts alone, using the book as a reference.

‘Hmm. It’s going well?’

It was surprisingly easy when practicing alone.

All the movements connected naturally, flowing smoothly without obstruction.

But this wasn’t a dance to be performed alone.

Synchronization with the partner was crucial.

The problem was that when I reached for his hand to move, my body instinctively sought the naturally learned male part.

A habit is truly scary. Having practiced it for years, had it become ingrained?

After putting in a long time and effort into practice, finally—

“…It seems to be improving a bit.”

I received the assessment that it was acceptable.

At least I could now finish the dance from start to finish without stepping on his foot while maintaining eye contact.

Although my movements had improved, I wondered if it was also thanks to Klen’s subtly increased skill in dodging my feet.

My mouth tasted a little bitter.

Despite this, Klen smiled with satisfaction.

“This much should be fine.”

‘Is it really fine?’

Even though it was the result of practicing day and night, just as I had said, I wasn’t entirely satisfied.

“Compensating for minor mistakes is my role. But I cannot recommend dancing with anyone else.”

“Excuse me? Why would that be the case?”

My dance in the woman’s part would be with Klen only once.

There would be no other.

I wouldn’t feel inclined to, and even if I forced myself, the other person’s foot wouldn’t survive.

And if I were to dance with a woman, wouldn’t I take the man’s part?

“Adrian.”

Though we were already close, having just finished the dance, he took one more step closer.

“Aren’t you confusing both parts because you’ve learned them both?”

“…Ah.”

Come to think of it.

For the past few days, I had to erase the familiar movements and paint over them with unfamiliar ones.

Consequently, my mind was in a state of confusion.

I wasn’t confident in perfectly performing the man’s part right now if I were asked to.

“What if you step on someone’s foot while dancing with a woman?”

“Hmm.”

If I had a little chance to practice, I could probably recall it quickly.

But right now, I had to prioritize dancing with Klen.

If I practiced the man’s part again after finally achieving synchronization, all our efforts would be for naught.

It would be impolite to use someone else as a practice target after finishing the dance with him at the ball.

Besides, I might even step on their foot during that one time.

Unlike Klen, if I stepped on a foot that was frail and encased in thin shoes, the damage would be even greater.

“I understand.”

No matter how many times I thought about it, it just wouldn’t work.

I didn’t particularly enjoy dancing anyway, and it was better to avoid dancing with others.


  1. The Ball

Finally, the day of the ball arrived.

The main event was in the afternoon, but preparations had to start from the morning.

And it was chaotic.

As I had already heard, my outfit was the same design as Klen’s.

Only the color scheme was slightly different.

The luxurious fabric was more extravagant than usual, an outer coat in a deep red color, embroidered with gold thread, careful not to stand out too much among the crowd.

The color scheme was the same as the dress Klen had said would suit me before.

And it was also similar to the one I wore when I received Levatein.

In contrast, Klen was wearing warm beige fabric with luxurious purple embroidery.

‘Isn’t that the color scheme he emphatically said wouldn’t work for the Healer’s dress?’

The very thing he had stressed wouldn’t work was now enveloping Klen.

After neatly styling our hair, we stood side by side in front of a large, full-length mirror.

Seeing us like this, it felt like we had imprinted ourselves on each other.

It was a warning, as if to say, ‘Don’t forget whose spouse this person is,’ even if we were separated and with others at the venue.

Of course, it would have no effect on those who didn’t know we were married, but everyone in this castle knew that.

“You truly look splendid.”

“Standing together, you look like a painting.”

“What if others fall for you?”

The servants who were assisting us wore proud smiles.

Linda, in particular, exclaimed that we should have this painted for a portrait to be hung in the room.

“Let’s go.”

I gently took the hand Klen offered.

It was evening, the sky dyed dark, and the starlight and moonlight gradually brightening.

A cool breeze blew, filling my chest with refreshing air.

The day was perfectly chosen. It would feel good even to dance in the garden.

Unfortunately, the ball tonight was being held in the main castle hall.

As we passed through the open space and entered the building, the large hall still felt somewhat stifling.

There were guards around, but since it was a gathering of internal people, there was no need for an announcement of arrival, and no separate invitations were prepared.

The guards’ uniforms were also cleaner than usual, with more decorations, and they looked very stylish.

It seemed they were taking turns participating in the ball while also serving as internal security.

Klen and I naturally passed straight through the entrance without stopping our steps.

‘Oh-ho…’

Even though it was a modestly prepared ball, the interior was magnificent.

In particular, red, the symbol of Valuncio, along with the crest and wooden decorations, were generously used, signaling that this was our own celebration.

Even as we walked quietly, I felt the attention of those around us.

This wasn’t my first ball, so I wasn’t nervous. I walked confidently, keeping pace with Klen.

However, my sharp ears didn’t ignore their whispers, and various sounds reached me.

Things like, ‘That person…’ or, ‘Just as the rumors say,’ or, ‘His face is handsome, though.’

Judging by the whispers, they were probably people who hadn’t attended the hunting competition.

“You don’t need to care about rumors.”

I lightly nodded at Klen’s words.

The social circle is a place where rumors circulate, no matter what.

If I were to worry about every single one of them, I wouldn’t have pretended to be frail.

Our footsteps headed toward the center of the hall where Count and Countess Valuncio were standing.

And as the two of them turned toward us, we gently bowed our waists and offered our greetings first.

“You have arrived.”

“It’s a ball held for a change of pace, so don’t feel pressured and enjoy yourselves.”

* * *

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