Becoming an Idol wasn’t on my plan chapter 2

* * *

…I just want to hide under the covers for three more minutes.

I looked up at the person sitting in front of me. Those eyes, filled with concern for me, were too embarrassing and… sigh.

“So, I collapsed during the final selection for the debut team? And you think the reason is… because of those guys?”

Even if it’s not ‘me,’ there’s no way I would collapse over such low-level bullying. It must be the aftermath of the spatial-temporal travel.

“Yeah…”

We didn’t need to meet to talk about this.

“I see.”

“…Are you okay?”

Why wouldn’t I be okay?

Also, with my personality, I’m not suited to be an entertainer.

Considering the circumstances, it seems like an idol debut team.

There’s no way someone as socially inept as me could handle a job like that.

I had to answer somehow, so, yeah, this might be the best way to put it.

“Well… Actually, I was considering giving up. So, I don’t really feel much about it.”

Chae Hamin looked at me with a devastated expression and bowed his head deeply.

Even after replaying my words several times, I couldn’t see any problem…

“It must have been really hard.”

…No, it wasn’t.

“Alright. Let’s find another company together.”

…What? He kept talking as if he didn’t see my surprised expression.

“I also didn’t want to debut with those guys.”

Ah, I hate to criticize someone for being kind. He seems to have misunderstood my consideration of quitting in a different direction.

So he feels bad about me giving up due to the bullying and wants to leave the company with me?

From what I heard yesterday, he had safely taken the exam before bringing me out.

He’s not even sure if he’ll pass the debut selection, but he wants to leave with me?

“Actually, my friend made a suggestion to me…”

“Wa-wait a minute.”

I needed to stop this rabbit before he went any further.

“I know it might be burdensome, but it’s always bothered me that I just stood by and watched when you were being bullied, right before your debut.”

His guilt was visible as he carefully chose each word.

I see. This guy is kind-hearted but a bit dense.

He’s like a class president trying to help the outcasts at school. Extroverted but unable to adapt to a harsh society.

“So let’s give it one more shot together, Donghwa.”

He spoke resolutely, like a rabbit declaring he’d quit carrots.

This was quite troublesome. It would be difficult to refuse him firmly.

If I rejected him, he would undoubtedly go on about how he should have acted sooner, blaming himself for the bullying.

People like him, who are kind but a bit naive, often insist on blaming themselves for things that aren’t their fault, claiming it’s a flaw in their morality.

Even though we’ve just met, I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible.

Maybe I should hear him out. If I find flaws in his friend’s suggestion, he might return to his debut group, and I can go back to staying away from idols.

“…What’s this suggestion your friend made?”

His face lit up with a bright smile as he began to explain.

How unfortunate. I’m going to tear that suggestion to shreds.

The thought of logically dismantling his hopeful proposition excites me.

* * *

As I walked out of GOD Entertainment’s front gate with Chae Hamin, I had a suspicion. Had he already decided to leave because he liked his friend’s suggestion?

In conclusion, Chae Hamin’s friend’s suggestion wasn’t bad from a trainee’s perspective, provided they had the skills.

Let’s revisit my conversation with Chae Hamin in the café.

First, Hamin, believing my memory was unstable, began explaining GOD Entertainment’s issues as if teaching a child.

“Donghwa, GOD Entertainment mainly manages actors, but they’re launching an idol group for the first time.”

In other words, a small company cluelessly starting an idol project because it’s profitable.

“So, the chances of proper support after debut are low, and their management might be a bit off.”

…I see.

“…Then why were you with this company?”

“My uncle works here and asked me to join. I was going to go somewhere else, but it was a family request!”

That’s his reason, but how foolish was I to join such a company? No matter how much it was ‘me,’ I have to criticize.

“…What’s this suggestion your friend made?”

“Oh! There’s a company that focuses on idols, and they’re doing a debut survival program! Five out of ten participants will debut, so the chances are good.”

Why did this survival program reach Hamin’s ears?

Two of the ten scheduled participants left the company due to school violence issues less than a month before the program started.

“It seems there aren’t many skilled trainees left, so they’re quietly scouting!”

At this point, I had to raise an issue. According to my trainee diary, my singing and dancing skills are average.

“I’m not that good. Will I even catch the eye of the higher-ups?”

“Hmm, Donghwa, you’re more than good enough.”

First shock.

“…Me? A trainee in this company?”

“True, I also wonder why someone of your skill joined here…”

Ha, that’s why I can’t trust what ‘I’ say. Another self-assessment. Back in school, I thought my academic skills were slightly above average.

But there’s always a silver lining.

“…Actually, I can’t remember how to sing or dance.”

I thought this was my best shot.

Judging by his words, this rabbit thinks my skills are sufficient, so he doesn’t care if I join the survival program.

With my poor skills as a novelist, there’s no way I can join a survival show.

Hamin paused and, after thinking for a moment, grabbed my hand.

“With a bit of practice, you’ll quickly regain your singing and dancing skills!”

A hopeful guy. Theoretically, remembering the steps is correct, but that’s ‘my’ story, not mine… wait a minute.

‘…Knowledge synchronization.’

Of all the experiments, I hadn’t checked singing and dancing skills.

No way. Could it really be like that?

* * *

Stepping into the practice room, I was surprised by the familiar sensation.

“Donghwa! How do you feel? Do you remember anything?”

“…Not really.”

On the wall were the midterm evaluation rankings.

‘Hmm…, I ranked second in singing, second in choreography, and first in composition.’

And yet I considered myself ‘average’ by my own standards?

I started stretching, following a routine that felt strangely familiar.

…I’m much more flexible than before.

Just as I finished warming up, I was about to play the song I prepared for the audition when it happened.

“Wow, look who it is, a dropout gracing us with his presence.”

…What’s with this ugly face? He’s quite ill-suited to be an idol trainee.

“Just like your parents, you’ve got no manners. Serves you right.”

Hmm, lowly. I continued my stretches, ignoring him, and asked Hamin.

“…Who is he?”

Hamin whispered cautiously into my ear, unusually stern.

“Lee Jihyun, the one who led the bullying.”

…Why whisper if you’re going to speak that loudly, rabbit?

“What’s with the attitude, Hamin? Acting all high and mighty.”

Hmm, a lack of self-awareness. Doesn’t he know he’s the most arrogant here?

“Why defend a loser who’s already out?”

I ignored him and stood up, playing my song.

“Hey, Donghwa, you ignoring me again?”

…He must be used to being ignored. How pitiful.

I kept ignoring him and listened to the music. It’s better to focus on checking my skills with Hamin than to respond to him.

…Wow, previous ‘me’ must have practiced a lot for my body to move so naturally.

Moving smoothly to the R&B track, my body utilized muscles I rarely used, moving fluidly.

Each part of my body felt like a separate being, moving independently. Strange, very strange.

“Wow! Donghwa! Even with memory loss, your skills seem almost intact!”

Hearing the word ‘memory loss,’ my critic seemed flustered, staring at me as I danced.

Hmm, what about singing? I was curious about the extent of my knowledge synchronization, so I played the next song. Lyrics flowed naturally from my mouth.

There’s no matter for us

Cause It’s You and Me―

Must You Made for Me―

For me, For me

“Oh, how surprising. For someone who has never sung before to improve this much overnight. The brain is indeed a mysterious thing.”

“Oh, Donghwa! It seems like you’re singing even better than usual!”

As soon as my song ended, that rude guy, whose name I didn’t even want to mention, muttered quietly.

“Amnesia, my ass… Bullshit.”

I turned my head towards him and answered indifferently.

“I don’t know who you are, but do you have a problem with me?”

He stared at me blankly before shouting.

“Why is your skill still the same if you have amnesia? Damn it, why is the guy who fell down the stairs better than me…?”

Hmm, I think I know what he was going to say. He’s a bundle of inferiority complex. From the circumstances, it seems this guy envied my skills and pushed me down the stairs.

And ‘I’ probably went to the audition even after being pushed down the stairs and then collapsed. Foolishly, why would I go that far?

Anyway, what to do with this ugly guy. I don’t feel it’s worth dealing with him.

It might be good to advise him to improve his skills rather than eliminating competitors, but it’s a waste of time.

I stared at him for a moment and then turned my head away.

“Hamin, let’s go. We’re done checking my skills.”

Chae Hamin, who had been watching me, smiled brightly and nodded.

The ugly guy just stood there quietly until we left the practice room.

***

After a long process, I ended up leaving GOD Entertainment’s front gate with Chae Hamin.

“Since your skills are almost back to normal, with a bit more practice, you should be able to regain your former abilities!”

“…Right.”

“Then we can apply for the survival audition together?”

“…….”

‘Ha, this rabbit pushed me into a corner.’

How did things come to this?

I have no excuse to back out here.

I’m clearly a third-year idol trainee, my skills are almost intact despite the amnesia, and according to Chae Hamin, I have enough skill to participate in a survival show.

…It’s clearly my mistake. The problem was claiming my skills hadn’t returned due to amnesia.

But I don’t want to do it. The entertainment industry is a sensitive subject for me.

For now… I’ll say I’ll do it and make an excuse to back out later.

Chae Hamin, noticing my silence, looked at me with slightly anxious eyes.

His eyes were as clear as a rabbit’s, worried about being abandoned. …Damn, he looks just like that kid.

“…Thank you.”

I didn’t want to give a clear answer, so I indirectly expressed my gratitude, which seemed to deeply move him as he started smiling again.

His expression made it clear he took my words as a positive response, and I sighed softly.

***

On the main road outside the company, Chae Hamin asked me.

“Where are you going now?”

Where else, home. I’m exhausted from using up all my social energy talking to the management people all week.

“If you don’t have any plans, do you want to eat with me?”

I wanted to question why he asked if he didn’t care about my answer, but then I remembered I hadn’t eaten all day.

“…What are you thinking of eating?”

“Let’s go eat something you like. I’ll treat you to celebrate your resignation.”

Something I like, huh. It’s been a while.

“…Wiener schnitzel.”

Chae Hamin’s eyes widened even more. Maybe he likes it too? I’m slightly hopeful…

“What’s that?”

Damn it. A life that doesn’t know the taste of Wiener schnitzel? Eat carrots forever.

“…Just buy me pork cutlet.”

“Oh? Sure. I know a good place.”

Chae Hamin energetically led me to a restaurant he claimed was great. I prefer Japanese-style pork cutlet, but it turned out to be Western-style.

Moreover, the texture when cutting the pork cutlet was strange. There’s something, something mushy inside…

“Hamin, did they put something besides meat in this?”

“Mushrooms!”

What, this rabbit? Why?

“They fried the meat with mushrooms. Mushrooms are delicious. I love them.”

Of course, you do, herbivore. Who in their right mind puts mushrooms in pork cutlet…

I carefully put a piece into my mouth and, after one chew, swallowed it like medicine. The texture was awful.

Chae Hamin, unfazed, chewed and swallowed well. Watching him, I ate a few more pieces and then moved my pork cutlet to his plate.

“Aren’t you going to eat more?”

He looked slightly anxious, as if it might not suit my taste.

In his mind, ‘There’s no way this delicious thing doesn’t suit his taste,’ and ‘What if it doesn’t?’ must be battling it out.

‘It’s almost certainly the latter, though…’

But criticizing a meal someone else bought is wrong, so I shook my head.

“I usually don’t eat much.”

‘Too bad he can’t enjoy this delicious meal,’ was the look I hoped he’d discard.

“…Well, at least someone can eat the leftovers.”

“Right? Let’s come here often together.”

I didn’t answer and started eating rice and soup, hoping he’d understand the meaning behind my actions.

“Donghwa, you eat rice to cleanse your palate. I eat it with the pork cutlet.”

…Oblivious rabbit.

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