* * *
It was as if he had regained the gills he lost while swimming in the deep sea.
As if the heavy weight pressing down on his chest had vanished in an instant.
Just because he could see Isa up close.
Just because he could touch him.
It was almost laughable, how much he had changed.
After leaving the bouquet in front of Isa’s house, Kaindel had stood at a distance, watching.
He had planned to leave as soon as Isa came out and picked up the flowers.
He knew Isa wouldn’t like him doing this.
But since it was the last time, he allowed himself this little indulgence.
He just wanted to see him.
Yet, when Isa finally stepped out, he did something unexpected.
Instead of simply taking the flowers and going back inside, he suddenly looked around in urgency.
His eyes darted across the area as if searching for someone.
It had been a long time since Kaindel had seen Isa so anxious.
As Isa ran, scanning his surroundings like he was looking for someone, Kaindel followed from a distance.
And that was when he realized—
Isa was looking for him.
At first, he couldn’t believe it.
But as he tracked where Isa’s gaze landed, it became clear.
Every place Isa looked was somewhere Kaindel had stood, even if only for a moment, while watching over him.
How did Isa know?
Even after realizing that Isa was searching for him, Kaindel hesitated to reveal himself.
What if Isa wasn’t actually happy to see him?
What if, by some chance, he had misunderstood, and Isa had been looking for someone else?
Could he bear that disappointment?
That hesitation might have lasted longer—
If not for the moment someone splashed water over Isa’s head.
Without thinking, Kaindel moved.
And now, here they were.
“Why are you so quiet?”
“…”
“Do you hate seeing me this much?”
Kaindel let out a low chuckle, his voice tinged with helplessness.
The way Isa had frozen up like a statue at the sight of him—
It made him wonder.
Maybe Isa hadn’t been looking for him after all.
Maybe he had been wrong.
A creeping darkness slithered up from his feet, threatening to swallow him whole.
And then—
“Kaindel.”
“…Yeah?”
“Aren’t you cold?”
Isa’s eyes, now refocused, flickered with concern as he took in Kaindel’s state.
It was unmistakable—
Those eyes were looking at him.
Only at him.
A quiet relief washed over Kaindel as he softened his expression.
“Not really.”
“…”
“Why? Do I look cold?”
“Yeah. You look cold.”
It was autumn, the air crisp and cool.
Not cold enough to be unbearable, but enough to make the water-drenched clothes uncomfortable.
Still, Kaindel hadn’t even thought about the temperature.
Yet, Isa had noticed.
Kaindel debated what to say, then simply closed his mouth.
He liked seeing Isa worry about him.
And he didn’t want to end this conversation so soon.
Maybe that was the right choice.
“…Come with me.”
After a brief pause, Isa turned and started walking toward his home.
It was obvious.
He was inviting Kaindel inside.
Kaindel repeated the words in his head.
Come with me.
A smile threatened to break free, and Kaindel barely managed to suppress it.
It was a good thing Isa had turned away first.
If he had seen his face, he would have caught Kaindel grinning like an idiot.
Ridiculous.
How pathetic, to be swayed so easily by every little thing Isa did.
And yet—
He couldn’t help it.
Isa’s home reflected its owner—it exuded a cozy atmosphere.
Though it wasn’t filled with many things, it had everything one needed to live comfortably.
Moreover, perhaps thanks to Isa’s good relationships with those around him, the house was dotted with items that were clearly gifts from the townspeople.
As he dried himself off, Kaindel discreetly surveyed the house before silently following Isa to sit down.
Only after confirming that Kaindel had taken a seat did Isa finally break the silence.
“Kaindel.”
“Go ahead.”
“Have you been well?”
Kaindel hesitated at the question.
Had he been well?
Of course not.
He was glad to see Isa again, but that didn’t mean Isa had returned to his side.
That lingering uncertainty crept up on him constantly, no matter what he was doing.
“…Surprisingly.”
But he couldn’t tell Isa the truth.
If he did, Isa—kind and foolishly considerate as always—would only end up worrying about him.
“I’ve been better than before.”
It wasn’t a complete lie, so it should be fine.
Kaindel responded vaguely, forcing a smile.
More than anything, he simply enjoyed being able to talk with Isa, even if just for a short while.
He hadn’t realized before how much he had taken this simple joy for granted—so obvious that he never even thought to appreciate it.
Relieved by Kaindel’s answer, Isa finally got to the point.
“Kaindel, listen.”
His tone was heavy. It hinted at the weight of the words to follow.
Kaindel clenched and unclenched his fist.
“Later.”
“Hm?”
“Can’t we talk about this later?”
Somehow, he felt like he shouldn’t hear it now.
Why now, of all times?
It wasn’t hard to figure out what Isa wanted to say.
And if his guess was right, then he wanted to put it off for as long as possible.
Isa, seemingly noticing Kaindel’s hesitation, added reassuringly, “It’s not that kind of conversation, so don’t be so tense.”
“Isa.”
“What I wanted to say is…”
“…”
“I’m leaving soon, Kaindel.”
Leaving?
Kaindel barely had time to feel relieved that it wasn’t what he had expected before his expression tightened.
The words caught him off guard.
“To where?”
“To Luther.”
“Luther?”
“Yeah, I’m going back.”
Isa’s expression remained as calm as ever, unchanged from before.
It was the face of someone who had made a firm decision.
“That’s why I’m telling you, Kaindel.”
As Kaindel blinked in response, Isa softened his expression before continuing.
Unlike in the past, Isa’s gaze wasn’t just gentle—it carried a certain resolve, something unwavering and strong.
“When everything is settled, come to Luther.”
“To Luther?”
This, too, was unexpected.
“…”
Kaindel pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek.
The fact that Isa was returning to Luther was surprising, but not entirely shocking—he could guess why.
The story of the Spencer family, which Sehir had told him about, must have stirred something in Isa.
But what Kaindel couldn’t understand was why Isa wanted him to follow.
Undoubtedly, Isa would find it easier to live without seeing him.
After all, even now, Isa hadn’t made up his mind about what to do with Kaindel.
He had always been like that.
Could it be…
“Isa, are you saying—”
“That doesn’t mean I’ll stay with you.”
“…Then?”
“It’s just…”
Isa cut him off before he could finish.
It was clear—Isa still hadn’t decided what to do about Kaindel.
At that moment, the fragile hope that had begun to sprout inside Kaindel was swiftly severed.
Kaindel swallowed back a sigh.
“I just thought… it might be okay to watch a little longer.”
Isa added quietly.
It wasn’t a firm yes, but it wasn’t a no either.
Even though all he had said was that he would watch, something deep inside Kaindel stirred.
It was an ambiguous answer, yet it was still better than before.
Maybe that’s why—why the hope he thought had been extinguished flickered back to life.
“…Alright.”
Kaindel barely managed to suppress his rising joy.
Not long ago, he would have felt nothing but anxious in such an unclear situation.
He had always preferred everything to be neatly resolved—if even one thing was out of place, it left him feeling empty.
But now, things were different.
Isa hadn’t fully accepted him yet, but that didn’t matter.
The joy remained. It felt as if something that had been crumbling beneath his feet was finally beginning to solidify once more.
“When everything is settled, I’ll go to Luther.”
* * *
