* * *
It was a blanket.
A red blanket long enough to reach the knees, with a ribbon tied around the neck to secure it in place.
“Ah.”
Now that I thought about it, I had bought something like this at the supermarket.
I had impulsively tossed it into the cart because I liked the idea of wearing it like a cape—something reminiscent of certain heroes.
Who knew I’d end up using it like this…?
A bottomless hero—slightly terrifying, but at least having something to cover myself with made me feel a little more at ease.
As Taehwan had instructed, I stripped off layer after layer.
But then, a dilemma arose.
“Uh… should I take off my socks too?”
“No. Those are fine.”
“Okay…”
It wasn’t like they’d get in the way, so forcing them off would’ve been weird.
Besides, I’d have to put them back on soon anyway.
Still, standing there with nothing on my lower half except pure white socks felt oddly conspicuous.
I couldn’t help wiggling my toes self-consciously.
Especially since that part of me was already standing stiffly at attention—it just looked strange.
Maybe being fully naked would’ve been less awkward…
While I hesitated, Taehwan turned toward me, seemingly done gathering whatever he needed.
His eyes swept over my bare lower half before curling into a grin.
“Good job.”
“Hah…”
Normally, he’d pat my head or stroke my cheek, but this time, his hands went straight for down there.
I jolted in surprise—who praises someone while groping them there?!—but at the same time, I’d been waiting for his touch, so my waist trembled faintly.
Reflexively, my hands clutched his broad shoulders.
Then, Taehwan squeezed lotion onto my length.
The same lotion we’d used before.
The cold sensation made me flinch, but my mind snagged on a question.
Why is this even here?
“Good thing I bought this. Who knew we’d use it like this here?”
“Taehwan… when did you buy that? It wasn’t from the supermarket.”
“Ah… well, they had it at the camp store.”
“You didn’t even glance at it at the supermarket?”
“I just… felt like buying it.”
…Why?
Taehwan was usually indifferent, but once something caught his interest, he became meticulous about it.
Take my skin issues, for example—he stubbornly insisted on buying only the products I’d been using, even making a special trip to the department store for them.
But since the skincare I used wasn’t slippery enough for this kind of activity, we had this separate lotion.
One we only used when doing this.
Otherwise, it wasn’t needed.
Maybe this lotion was a common enough item to be stocked at the camp store.
Still, why buy it here when he hadn’t at the supermarket?
I didn’t get it… but at least it came in handy.
“But why is the packaging already op—Hnngh!”
“Can’t use it if it’s sealed, right?”
“N-no, I mean—Ah, ah…!”
I wanted to argue—It was already open when you took it out!—but I had no room to protest.
Taehwan spread the lotion along my shaft, rubbing his thumb just below the head, and my mind blanked into pure white static.
Logical thought was impossible—only overwhelming pleasure remained.
This is too much… way too…
Good. So good it almost felt wrong.
Taehwan, his hands, the sensations they gave me—everything was unbearably perfect.
And I knew this wasn’t even the “main event.”
If it felt this mind-numbingly good already, how much better would the real thing be?
The anticipation alone made me even more excited.
“Nngh, ah…”
“Feels good?”
“Mhm… yeah…”
“Good. Me too.”
Lost in the pleasure Taehwan was giving me, I barely managed to regain some semblance of thought.
He brushed my bangs aside, and suddenly, I became acutely aware of the expression I must’ve been making.
If we made eye contact now, I’d die.
Stiffening, I reached out and wrapped my arms around his thick neck—then paused.
This position… the angle of our faces…
It’d be perfect for kissing.
I could hug his neck comfortably and press our lips together without awkwardness.
Closing my eyes, meeting his soft lips, mingling breaths and tongues while he touched me there—it’d feel amazing.
Both acts were indecent and euphoric in their own ways.
Of course, I wasn’t shameless enough to ask for a kiss while he was already helping me down there.
It was just… a passing thought.
Still, I did want to talk about kissing with Taehwan.
With our faces already close from me hugging his neck, I lightly bumped the tip of my nose against his—just like he’d done yesterday.
But the mood felt dangerous, so I quickly pulled back and cautiously asked:
“T-Taehwan… have you ever… kissed someone?”
Maybe it was too abrupt a question for the situation, because Taehwan didn’t answer right away.
His hand stilled, and he just stared at me for a long moment before finally responding—with an answer that shocked me.
“Well… uh… I guess… yeah?”
“You have?”
My eyes widened, and my hips, which had been lazily rocking, froze stiff.
His answer had been vague, but the meaning was clear.
“Seriously? Like, a real kiss? Not just a peck?”
“…Why’re you reacting like that? You think I’d never kissed anyone at my age?”
“Ah.”
Well… yeah, I had assumed that.
From our school days till now, Taehwan had always given off an impenetrable, untouchable vibe—yesterday’s incident included.
During his hospital stays, I’d nagged him endlessly about dating, but he’d never once mentioned having feelings for someone or getting a girlfriend.
And yet, Taehwan had kissed someone before?
I never would’ve guessed.
“I-I see…”
Of course, even after being discharged from the hospital, I realized more and more every day just how much I didn’t know about Taehwan.
It wouldn’t have been strange if there was someone close to him I didn’t know about.
And it’s not like kisses are reserved only for lovers.
After all, I kissed him too, and we weren’t in that kind of relationship.
Maybe, like me, he just acted on impulse.
It could have been a joke, or out of curiosity…
“So… how was the kiss?”
“…What do you mean, ‘how was it’?”
His smooth brow furrowed slightly, as if the question was hard to answer, but I wanted to hear it.
I stared at him intently, and Taehwan’s face quickly flushed red as he covered his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Well… uh. It was really good.”
I was shocked all over again.
The way he avoided my gaze as he answered—Taehwan seemed to be trying to hide it, but he looked so satisfied… it was strange, unfamiliar.
Like a boy in love.
Like someone who had just shared a sweet first kiss and was still giddy from the memory.
And this was him—Im Taehwan, my longtime friend.
It felt like I’d been hit over the head.
The Taehwan I knew was either incapable of honesty or just too shy, but he had never once expressed affection for someone else in front of me.
This was the first time I’d ever seen him so openly smitten with someone.
Which made me wonder:
‘…Did they just kiss?’
Maybe the reason he could make me feel good so easily was because he had experience.
His hands hadn’t hesitated at all.
Even though it should have been sudden and awkward for him, he took the lead right away.
If he’d already done something like this before, then it made sense.
Maybe he’d even touched that person, done dirtier things that people do when they’re in love.
Meanwhile, at my age, he hadn’t taught me a single thing about sex.
Even now, he tells me it’s “too soon” for me—but did he become an adult with that person instead?
I wanted to grow up with Taehwan, too.
Not to be treated like a child, like a little brother.
Not to be someone he had to take care of one-sidedly, but to stand as equals again, like real friends.
Once, we had been each other’s only person.
‘Even if we went camping like before, it still wouldn’t be the same.’
Too much time had passed.
I had stayed a child in the hospital, while Taehwan had grown into an adult in the outside world.
Realizing this, it felt like a huge wall had sprung up between us—one I had never even imagined before.
“Why are you asking? If you want to do it, it’s not my first time, so I don’t mind—”
“No.”
“…Huh?”
My voice came out cold, almost harsh—enough to startle Taehwan.
I knew I was taking my frustration out on him, but I couldn’t rein in my emotions right now.
I wasn’t sure why, but I felt too upset to even feel turned on.
My head was too much of a mess; I needed time to sort through my thoughts.
“Sorry. I… I don’t want to do this either.”
“Why all of a sudden?”
“I changed my mind. I don’t want to. I’m really sorry for acting like this out of nowhere.”
* * *
